


Starchild

by Nuredhel



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, Confusion, F/M, Gen, Helcaraxë, M/M, Struggle for Power, a savior, crashed spaceship, great powers, sci fi crossover, synthetic person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2018-07-15 21:01:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 82,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7238362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nuredhel/pseuds/Nuredhel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was never meant to be there, never meant to exist and yet she did. Pure chance brought her to a world in which her kind was something unheard of, something wonderful or maybe terrible at the same time. But can someone like that find a home where technology is primitive and magic still reigns? Can a child of distant stars live in peace with the children awakened underneath this starry sky? Can she make a difference? And is she alive or just a ghost in a shell?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Descent

Starchild  
Prologue: 

Touch me now and feel my force  
I will give you life  
History will change its course  
Man will survive  
Reach out to me and seal your fate  
A new phase is near  
Come to me and cross the gate  
No pain, no fear  
I have entered another dimension  
My perception expands  
Transcending beyond comprehension  
Time has come, a brand new sun  
Shining down on you  
The reign of peace has now begun  
Dreams have come true  
I see the future, a new star will rise  
I see the world through the all-seeing eyes  
Of the Starchild  
Starchild  
Star one: Starchild

 

Is this the end? Can everything truly be undone, erased like the lines of text on a burning piece of paper? I hope not, I dare not think that thought. It would be too sad, too terrible. I remember it, I remember everything, every face, every word, every fleeting emotion. They drift through my mind like shimmering specks of light, so pure and so true. Maybe it was meant to be, maybe there truly is a meaning to this, to my eternal existence. For I am truly eternal, I fear that I will survive this universe and awaken to see the rise of a new world, for those who made me were clever indeed. Indestructible… It is such a grand word, and yet it carries with it doom, to see all crumble and fall before your eyes, what fate could possibly be more terrible? I have endured the millennia of this world, seen the wars, seen the grandeur of its peoples and its realms, I have walked next to Gods and danced with kings, oh yes, it all lives on through me, through my never ending memory. Did they know what they truly did when they formed this shell that is my body? I fear not, I was a weapon, and I still am. In the final battle that is to come I will fight once more and I know I will do my very best. Darkness may never conquer us, never.   
And yet, for all those years, for all the time that has passed by like grains of sand slipping through a fist, trying too hard to hold onto it, I have never found the answer to the question that has haunted me ever since the first day of my existence. What does it mean to truly be alive? What is life? I am not alive, or am I? If being alive means to feel and think and doubt then I am most certainly alive, but I know not when that came to being. I think I was taught this along the way, for my beginning, my beginning was so very different from the creature I am now. I am a survivor of a world long gone, a memory of a war too terrible to describe, the scion of a people returned to the dust of the stars which gave birth to them…  
I am the only one, but I am never alone as long as I still believe, as long as I do not doubt that there is a meaning behind it all, that light will prevail once more. I rise from my crouching position, my armor gleaming in the light from the sun. I am ready, I will fight, the final battle may be an end but I will make sure that it also will be a new beginning, they will all live again in a new world, a peaceful world free of the darkness that haunted the old one.   
I am a child of distant stars, how ironic that I ended up here, but there is also a sort of melancholic poetry within this. That one never born will fight side by side by others also unbegotten….  
As I face my enemies I once more remember that day, when I came to this world, descending like a fallen star, like a comet from the skies. And yes, they will fear me, for I can never surrender, never give in or give up. I am not programmed to quit. 

 

 

   
Chapter one: Descent

Screaming in flames, down from the sky.  
That's how he comes in my dream.  
Trail of tortured souls, a black boiling wake.  
A ghost ridden string with a bone-aching hum.

Breathing the fumes of cities ablaze.  
A god descends crushing us all.  
Walks on the hills emptied of life.  
Veiled by ashes and snow the hills are blind.

Earth and sky as one in countless pieces.  
Time stands still, frozen in the flow.  
In the dust the faces of the fallen.  
They're erased in the fall of snow.

Fly forevermore.  
Hell was here, now no more.  
End of war.

Come to the feast of war...

And the crows fly black.  
Now the crows fly black.  
And the crows fly black.  
Only crows fly black.  
Tarot: Crows fly black

The awakening was sudden and rude, she almost hit her head on the console next to the small cot and she immediately knew that something was terribly wrong. Alarm sirens were flaring through the ship and she could feel that the engines were acting oddly. Like a mariner capable of telling of whether or not a storm is coming just from the waves outside or if the ship is speeding up or not she had developed keen instincts over the years. She tried to get out of the cot but the gravity generator seemed to have shut down, everything was flowing around and she swore and started to pull herself out of the tiny room. It wasn’t much larger than her, even the captain of a freight ship wasn’t allowed much personal space. The alarms were so loud it hurt her ears and she yelled out. “Tetee, shut off the alarms!”  
The ships computer immediately responded, the smooth inhuman voice answered her and she managed to clear her head a bit. “Affirmative captain, alarms shutting down”   
The silence was even more unnerving, she didn’t hear the generators nor the main engines and she let herself flow forth, towards the machine room. Shit, had they been hit after all? They had managed to escape an ambush just twelve standard hours ago and it had been a terribly close call. A talgmarian warship had been cloaked near their designated jump point and they had escaped just because the decrepit old freighter was armed with some unexpected surprises. Nobody suspected that a class F union freighter had plasma canons. The war between the union and the talgmarians had lasted for more than fifty standard years and there was no sign of peace anytime soon. Both captain and crew had grown up with the conflict and almost everybody on board were ex military personnel.   
She heard a clanging sound and floated down the shaft towards the main engine room, she was sweating. They didn’t have a large cargo this time but it was valuable enough. The Shiiima wasn’t a very fast ship, and it was old and very worn so they only got the type of missions that didn’t pay off in the long run. She hoped it was just engine problems, her engineers could fix anything with elbow grease and some feet of titanium wire. She saw that Artan and Mhaar were busy working, both had anchored themselves to the floor with harnesses and Artan were hissing orders to Mhaar who immediately obeyed. The uurzit saw her and growled, he was clearly stressed out. “Captain”   
Artan wiped sweat from his forehead and she wondered for the n’th time why an engineer like him couldn’t get a job on one of the first class freighters, or even a battle cruiser. He was a genius when it came to machines of every sort and she trusted him with her life, and that of the rest of the crew too. “How bad is it?»  
She could tell that her voice was as stern as ever, she had been a fighter pilot and she had learned never to show fear but she could feel her heart beating hard in her chest. He stared at her, the brown eyes were a bit glassy. “ I know you prefer honesty captain, and quite honestly? We are fucked!”  
She gasped and saw that Mhaar tried to connect some broken wires, the whole room smelled of something burning, something organic. “The details please.»  
Artan straightened himself up. “ I had to turn off our G, it took too much power. The main engine is fried, unsalvageable. They did hit us after all, one round only but it has jammed the fluctuator and the whole thing has fried itself out. There is nothing left. I just dumped three unstable cores, we have only two left. And they are half full”   
She blinked, that was bad, no, disastrous. Two half full cores? Oh damnation, they were indeed screwed. “We are still in hyper drive?”   
Mhaar nodded, the long reptilian face was telling her that he was very worried indeed. “ Yes, we have the drive engines still but they have just twenty minutes left of juice.”   
Artan bit his lower lip. “ We have no idea of where we’ll drop out, the explosion has sent us off course”   
She tensed up. “How much?»  
He shrugged. “Oh, I have no idea, at least a thousand, maybe more.»  
She was the captain, she wasn’t supposed to show any sort of emotion at all but this made her moan. A thousand units? They could be half ways across the galaxy, heck, if they hit something they would be atoms scattered all across several solar systems. She was used to thinking fast, taking swift decisions. It had saved her life several times. “Right, the others, do they know?»  
Artan nodded “ They are at the bridge, awaiting orders. “   
She straightened herself up, tried to remain focused. This old bird had been through rough rides before, she would survive this one too. “Right, Coba, do you read me?»  
The hoarse voice of the uurzit responsible for the freight section of the ship was audibly shaken. “I do captain»  
“Good, dump the cargo”  
Coba’s voice did shake even worse. “Are you serious? It is worth…”   
She interrupted, her voice ice cold. “ I don’t give a wyfyr’s ass about the value, dump it now! It is marked, someone will find it”   
Coba sounded as if she was about to cry. “But dumping the cargo hull while in hs, that is never wise”   
“I am the captain damn it, dump the goddamn cargo hull now! It will give us a little more time”   
There was a creaking sound and then a thud and the ship seemed to shiver for a second as the huge clasps connection the long line of cargo containers was disconnected from the mothership. She took a deep breath. “ What can be salvaged down here?»  
Artan stared at Mhaar and both were a bit pale. “Not much captain, like I said, we have some steering ability left, but not much juice.”   
She nodded. “Both of you, out of here, we are sealing the machine room. If we are to drop out outside of a jump point I want everybody on the bridge.»  
She didn’t wait for an answer, just flew up towards the bridge and tried to remain calm. If the navigator couldn’t determine where they were they could be in really deep shit. She would prefer dying peacefully, not from flying straight into a star or a planet or a black hole.   
The crew were silent, everybody was there, even the cook and she took a deep breath. “Folks, strap yourselves in, I am afraid it could be a rough ride.»  
The navigator nodded, the strange blue eyes were as dispassionate as ever. “Captain, we are outside of the grid”   
She frowned. “No way, how can that be? It cannot have thrown us that far off course?»  
The android tilted her head, blinked once. “But we are, no beacons, no signals at all. We are blind»  
She sat down in the captains seat, the familiar feeling sort of soothed her nerves. “Well then, we are in for an adventure I guess. Any suggestions as to why?”   
The ships computer answered, smoothly. “Captain, my last calculations suggest that we were thrown into a vortex of some sort.»  
Everybody just stared at each other, vortexes were something which was extremely rare and it was thought that it was some sort of wake left by a ship flying through hyperspace, capable of creating temporary worm holes. Nobody was sure but it was the best theory so far. The navigator tipped her head once more. “ What are we to do captain?”   
She cleared her throat, took a deep breath. “We are leaving hs right now, to preserve whatever fuel we have left. It won’t make much of a difference anyhow.»  
She saw that Artan and Mhaar were strapped in, then she gave the computer the order. “Shut down hyperdrive engines now»  
The dispassionate machine voice answered in its usual mechanical manner. “I am afraid that is impossible captain, they are jammed”   
She groaned and everybody looked a bit scared now, she just hoped that this wouldn’t be their last day together. She didn’t have a fear of dying but she did fear taking her crew with her, they were her responsibility after all. “ Okay, how much time before they run out of fuel?»  
The computer answered. “Twelve minutes counting from now»  
The ship medic tried to smile. “Silfy, captain, please, are we going to be alright?”   
She sighed. He was an android, once very valuable and state of the art but now he was hopelessly out of date and also terribly affected by some rather dubious programming. It had been fashionable to make the synthetic’s seem very human for a while, with feelings and all and he had been programmed to be very sensitive and highly empathic. That hadn’t caused anything but problems on the other ships he had been assigned to but on this ship they couldn’t afford to be picky. He had been cheap, that was most important. “ Yes Detoo, unless we hit something solid that is. But cheer up, in that case we won’t have time to feel any pain.»  
Everybody went silent and she kept her eyes on the monitors, they were old friends, as familiar as the back of her own hands and she found some solace in the thought that she was to share the fate of her ship. She was too old to get a new one anyhow and she had flown countless missions on this old heap of rust and wires. There was a silent countdown going on, she tensed up as they approached the moment of truth. Would they drop out in empty space or somewhere far from healthy? She took the controls, ready to take over the ship if that was necessary, a human mind is always faster than a computer. “Alright old girl, get ready to dance»  
There was a whining sound and the blackness outside of the window became a flash of intense light and then there were stars surrounding them, bright shiny stars and she didn’t recognize any of them. “CeKay, identify”   
The navigator went to work, her head turning and her fingers moving over her monitors at break neck speed. “Identification impossible, we are in some uncharted quadrant captain»  
Silfy sighed, stared at the screens and then she frowned. Oh no, there was something heavy near by, something was pulling on them and she shouted to the computer. “Show surroundings”   
The screens shifted and now they saw something which had been hidden behind the ship, a planet. It was pretty close too and it was very obvious that they already were trapped within its gravitational well. They were falling. The cook mewled and Dhu’my the other cargo assistant was panting hard. “That is not good now is it?»  
She tried to smile, turned the ship around. Without the several miles of cargo hanging from the ass it was rather easy to do it, even now with a gravitational well so nearby. “No, it is not good at all. Navigator, computer, analyze»  
The planet looked very nice, it had snowcapped poles and a lot of green but also a lot of sea and Silfy knew they were gonna crash. The computer did beep” The planet is of medium size, breathable atmosphere, few toxic gasses, traces of life apparent. “   
She tried to think fast again. “Any civilizations?”   
“No sign of technology beyond early metal age, intelligence is detected.»  
Silfy felt the controls jerk in her hands, it was dragging them down like some sort of space monster. The planet lay in darkness but it was lighted by the stars. “It has no sun, how can it have life?»  
The computer beeped once more. “ Reason unknown, maybe a rogue planet tossed from its original system? It could be kept warm from its own core”   
The navigator interrupted. “The northern area is uninhabited, less chance of damage”   
Silfy nodded, “ I agree, if we are to crash we’d better not take an entire city with us”   
She took a deep breath. “Alright people, we are going in, and I am afraid to say this but the chances of us surviving is slim. She wasn’t made as a lander at all»  
Artan was grasping onto his chair with white knuckles. “ Oh you are so gentle captain, let’s face it. We will burn to cinders in the atmosphere.»  
The navigator nodded. “We have less than 0.569 percent chance of making it to the surface in one piece»  
Silfy sneered, her face transformed by the danger, she seemed young again, eager almost. “Oh but we do have a chance, for I am going to do something outrageous”   
The crew looked at her. “What? “   
She grinned widely “ We have one escape pod, four of you can leave now, and maybe make it. It is made to withstand even an entry out of control”  
They shook their heads. “We will stay with you captain, and you know it. We won’t desert this ship”   
The captain nodded. “Right, well, I am going to turn her around and take us inn ass first, on her back”  
The computer ticked into action again. “Captain, that might work, the engines will protect the front part of the ship where you are»  
She grinned, even wilder. “Damn right, and the shields there are strong, made to protect the stern from collisions with rogue cargo containers”   
The navigator stared at the screens. “Four minutes to contact, we are falling fast.»  
Silfy grasped the controls, rolled the ship gently and felt the pull, that irresistible force that was an entire planet and its mass. She took a deep breath. “Computer, show me a course towards the poles, and a good angle»  
The monitors beeped and showed a trajectory few pilots would have dared to attempt but Silfy clenched her teeth together and moved the controls again, very gently. “Come on old girl, one last effort, make me proud»  
There was a rumbling sound, the ship had started to shake as molecules of air started to collide with its rear end. She could see that everybody were clinging to their harnesses, most looking very scared indeed. The navigator was the exception, she was a synth too, but of a different model than Detoo and way more advanced. Silfy had come across the synth through a friend of a friend, apparently it had been part of some sort of secret experiment that went rather bad and was to be destroyed but there was nothing wrong with her and so Silfy had accepted CeKay as part of a payment for a freight mission. She looked inhumane in many ways, too perfect and too flawless to be a human being and of course, without Detoo’s odd behavior. She had come in handy rather often.   
Silfy took a deep breath. “ It has been an honor serving with you all folks, let me tell you that”   
Some tried to smile. “Likewise captain»  
The sound had become a roar and the computer was spitting out data continuously. “We are to enter the top atmosphere, brace yourselves”   
The shaking became intense, the glow outside of the windows white and Silfy kept her eyes locked on the monitors. The ship fought her, the rear wasn’t aerodynamic at all, no part of this ship was meant for flying within an atmosphere and it was full of edges and corners. Pieces of melted metal were flying past the windows, the cabin started to get warm and she yelled an order. “Seal all doors from the personnel cabins towards the machine room, flood the cabins with whatever cooling liquid we have left. “   
There was a loud pschhh and the temperature dropped a bit but it wouldn’t last, maybe just a minute. Silfy were praying the whole time, swearing, fighting the ship. By now most of the thrusters had been burned off, they could only hope that the trajectory would hold. The angle of penetration had to be perfect, or they would burn for sure.   
It seemed to last forever, but it was just a few minutes. Then the shaking stopped and the eerie glow of plasma disappeared, but a new problem presented itself. They were no longer flying, but falling. And this ship did fall fast without any fuel nor sufficient wings. Silfy got hectic. “Everybody, get out and into the jumper, now!”   
The jumper was a small vehicle meant to search the surface of asteroids and other objects without an atmosphere, it did have a parachute however and everybody understood and reacted. The entrance was through a narrow tunnel just beneath the bridge and they jumped down one by one, Silfy the last one. She saw that the room was terribly cramped, it was made for three people, now it held eight and she took the main seat and strapped herself down. “Computer, try to keep her on a steady course. Disengage us in thirty seconds»  
The computer answered. “Yes captain, I understand. Thank you for everything”   
Silfy sighed, of course the computer knew it would be smashed into smithereens soon, it was logical. “ Likewise Tetee, you have served well”   
There was a thud and the jumper was falling free from the ship, they were still high above the ice sheet beneath them but soon the parachute would slow their descent. The jumper had a window and Silfy could see Shiima one last time, like a fiery comet racing across the skies. The ship would leave quite an impact crater when it struck, but there were no living beings in that area. It was good there were no fuel left too, at least the explosion wouldn’t leave any radioactivity.   
The jumper fell, then it jerked and the captain saw that the parachute did open. Now they were falling slowly compared with before and yet it would be a very hard impact, one that would do serious damage to the jumper, and possibly to them too. There was one thing they could do and she pulled a handle, immediately the cabin was filled with a sort of light foam that would harden upon impact and protect everybody inside of the cabin. It was breathable but not for long so she was relieved that everybody had put their masks on. The synth’s didn’t need one so they had just enough for the beings that needed air. The two uurzits were a bit grey in the face since this air was a bit different from what they would prefer but they could survive in it and Silfy just hoped that the impact wouldn’t be too bad.   
The small vehicle hurtled towards the ground, a desert made from ice and snow. From a distance it seemed smooth and even, quite beautiful but in reality it was a torn and ragged landscape filled with canyons and rock hard cliffs made from ancient ice. Silfy took a deep breath. “We are five hundred meters from the surface, get ready.”   
The jumper smashed into the side of a huge spire of ice, then it tumbled down its side, the parachute torn off, it was slammed into the side of another huge block of ice before it fell into a canyon of ice and rolled mercilessly down its bottom. It ended in a sheer drop and the jumper fell for another four hundred feet before it came to rest against a very high almost blue block of ice. The vehicle was battered beyond recognition, parts of it torn off, the cabin ripped open and pieces of it spread as a trail of debris from the cliff. It was silent, for a long time. Nothing moved and the cold wind moaned between the blocks of ice, careless and indifferent.   
Then something moved, it was the synth CeKay and it crawled out of the damaged hull very slowly, almost sluggishly like a person in shock. The blue eyes did behold the landscape and then she turned around, stared at the jumper It was a complete loss, there was nothing to salvage.   
She entered again, tore off pieces of hull like it was made from cardboard and the cabin was a mess. Silfy was still hanging from her harness, her hands on the controls but the eyes were empty and the odd angle of her back and neck told CeKay everything she needed to know. She leaned forth, closed the blurred brown eyes and wondered if this was grief, the odd sensation in her chest. Detoo was smashed, the central computing unit crushed to small pieces, but the torso was rather unharmed. It could perhaps be used for something. The only survivors were Artan, Tonjar and Dhu’my, and he was badly hurt. CeKay were equipped with a medical program, much more advanced than that of Detoo, but she had kept it secret. She had kept many secrets, it had been needed. He wouldn’t survive without proper care, and there was none to be found. Artan and Tonjar were unconscious so she did the merciful thing and snapped the injured Tha’bor’s neck. He would have suffered, it was not to be avoided. CeKay had gone into survival mode, and her mind was acting strictly in a logical sense now, as it was designed to do.   
The captain had done a remarkable feat getting them down, she felt a sting of admiration before she checked upon the two other survivors. Both were human and she knew humans were remarkably resilient, they could survive things few other races could endure. She managed to get some of the survival kits out of the ship, put up a tent with an automatic heater, found some provisions. She didn’t need food, but the amount they had could feed two humans for perhaps a week, little more. And then it was the problem with the cold, it was intense and she feared that they would freeze to death. There had to be a way to make it south, to where it was warmer, could they make it? She would try, she wasn’t made to quit and she dragged the two men into the tent and got the heat going, prepared food and some blankets. They didn’t have much, but she would search through the wreckage for anything salvageable and useful, she would even go through the debris field they had left behind.   
The skies outside were clear and the stars incredibly bright, she went outside, stood there watching as the stars slowly rotated above her head, dancing their ancient dance oblivious to the concept of time. She could remember it all, her creation, her creator, and her escape. They had never known what they had among them, and she was grateful for that. Even she realized that she was an abomination, something which wasn’t supposed to exist. But the war had demanded it, and so it had been done, the last desperate effort to stop a fall that would end the existence of an entire world. She was the last one, and it was an odd though, but one she was familiar with. After all, being alone was all that she had ever been.   
Artan woke up after a while, moaning and she gave him some water, he coughed and sat up, disorientated and confused. “What happened?»  
CeKay smiled, it was something she knew soothed people down. “We crashed, I am sorry, you and Tonjar are the only survivors»  
Artan took a deep breath, he bit his lower lip. “Oh Silfy, she tried so hard to save us all»  
CeKay nodded. “That she did, now you must try to stay alive, for her memory’s sake”   
Artan sobbed. “ Oh by the stars, I am so sorry, so sorry»  
CeKay knew that Artan and Silfy sometimes slept together, she did of course know everything about attraction, sex and its implications so she did realize that this was a hard blow to his emotional stability. Now she was head officer and had to act as a new captain, it was a task she didn’t know if she was ready for. “Relax, we have food, and heat”   
Artan nodded slowly, tried to pull himself together. “Alright, how is Tonjar”   
She stared at the other man, he was shorter and more stocky than Artan and he had always been a very quiet type. “He is unconscious but he is unharmed”   
Artan sighed and closed his eyes. “ How far are we from the edge of the ice?”  
CeKay tried to see that terrain as if from above once more, she made a grimace. “Far Artan, at least fifteen hundred miles.”   
Artan seemed to shrink. “That is too far, we won’t make it. We don’t have food enough, nor clothes»  
CeKay tilted her head. “There is patches of open ocean between the ice, and there is life in this ocean. I can surely catch something, maybe even something suitable for making garments”   
He looked at her sternly. “ Are you always that much of an optimist?»  
CeKay nodded, smiled. “Always, it is how I am programmed remember? Now, relax, I will watch over Tonjar”   
Artan took a deep breath and laid down, stranded in an alien world with a synth as a protector and guide, somehow this day had gone from bad via worse to a freaking nightmare, if he made it out of this mess alive he was going to ask to be transferred to a passenger shuttle, along the outer rim, where he could be sure that nothing odd would happen and where the crew were flesh and blood. These C units were infamous for being unstable and he didn’t want to rely on one, there had to be a way to secure himself and Tonjar without having to trust that synth. What did an artificial person really know about survival anyhow?


	2. Savior and salvation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three survivors from the crash, then two, then one, alone in the ice cold desert of the high north, or maybe not so alone after all?

Chapter 2: Savior and salvation

The wind used to be just that, wind. Now it had become so much more, a terrible enemy none had expected, more vicious than any beast and way more dangerous. It tore through their clothing, turned exposed flesh into ice, and it never rested. It was always there, always hungry for destruction and agony and there was no protection against it. Their furs and cloaks way too thin and their bodies unaccustomed to such cold, they had never experienced it before. He sighed, the tent held little heat but it was better than nothing, it was small and humble and yet he knew that many had even less than this, and it caused him to bow his head in shame. How many had they lost so far? He had lost count of them, and it was all because of him, because they were loyal and believed in his words, and those of his accursed brother. His servant entered, the ner was shivering like a leaf in a storm, his teeth clattering. “My lord, two more have died, and we had to euthanize four more horses, the animals are starving to death my lord” 

He nodded, a huge lump in his throat. They had brought provisions but it hadn’t been enough, now the people tried to fill their bellies with the flesh of those poor faithful beasts who used to be like their own kin and when the last horse had died and was devoured, what then? The idea made his stomach churn. They had brought too much, and the horses were needed but there was no food there in the ice cold desert, and no shelter. The hay almost gone, and the animals as well as the elves forced to eat snow to get hydrated. Elves can survive a lot, but this sapped their strength minute by minute and the darkness, oh Eru, the darkness most of all. Had he been wrong? Was he leading his people to their doom, to a cold slow death in a place where nothing could live? He fought the terrible feeling of despair which had descended into his soul, the sorrow and the lack of hope. He was their leader, he had to stay strong for his people but it was impossible. Where was he to find strength? To find power? What was he to say to those who had lost their loved ones? Those close to dying from fatigue, starvation and cold? Oh Eru, they deserved it, that was the worst part of it. They had all chosen their fates when they chose to follow him, abandon Aman and the valar. He could still remember the harbor, still see that horrible scene of carnage, dead elves everywhere, slaughtered by their own race. It had never happened before, and for it they were cursed. So maybe it was just righteous that they all would perish in this place of ice and darkness, even the innocent, even the children. He leaned his head onto his hands, hid his face and smothered his sobs. He had to get over, if only to see his brother one more time, and tell him exactly what he had done.

 

Tonjar woke up after a few hours, with a terrible headache and an even more terrible attitude. He was not convinced that they were the only survivors and he was very confused and in obvious shock. Artan had to restrain him from going outside to see for himself and CeKay had also tried to calm him down. The synth had made it clear that they couldn’t stay in this place, this part of the ice sheath was unstable and dangerous and cracks would open and close in minutes. She had already gone through the wreck of the jumper, and taken everything that could be used for anything, Even the wiring had been ripped out and she had poured some of the oil from the remaining systems into some empty canisters for later use. That oil did burn, and could come in handy later. She had also found sixteen power cells hidden in the remains of the back compartment, a pulse rifle and some ammo and a set of the long slightly curved knives the uurzit were so fond off. But she had found no more food, and whatever fabrics she had managed to get out of the jumper was thin and made to protect the seats during times of storage, not to provide heat. She had dug graves for the dead, in the ice. It had been a hard job but one she could do easily enough. Artan had wanted it and she had obeyed, she had no reason not to.   
She knew that Artan disliked her, he didn’t like synths in general and she wasn’t offended by it. He shared that view with many of many races and she knew why too. The first synths had been mere machines and sometimes they would malfunction, click, go gaga. There were horror tales still of the carnage some mad synths had caused and to many the very idea of a synthetic organism was a form of blasphemy. A robot was alright, it was just a piece of metal and wires made to do a job, so were most droids but the synths, ah, they were pretending to be something most people couldn’t quite comprehend. Alive and yet not born, a machine with a soul. CeKay were of a class of synths made very late in the war, in a part of the galaxy where few ventured. The quadrant had been ruled by the last remnants of the Chushrian empire and they had desperately tried to resist the constant onslaught by the talgmarians. 

CeKay had never told anyone of her origin, of her past. To everybody she was a synth stolen from some military surplus storage, destined to be destroyed just because it was too many synths and it took too much time to check each and every one for faulty programming. In fact she was so much more, one of a kind. The last spark of genius from a brain superior to most others, the last remnant of a race which once ruled everywhere. The Godhay had been few even when the Chushrians rose to power but their great intelligence and their ability to transform and perfect any technology and incorporate it into their own was the stuff of legends. Some say it was a plague which wiped them out, the truth was not as mundane. The Godhay were a race obsessed with themselves, with their achievements and the things they could create and they became scattered and vulnerable. And the war started claiming lives, many lives. In the end only a very few remained, the last of a race capable of transforming the universe into an oasis of peace and prosperity but unfortunately seduced by their own might. Even the powerful can die, and their greatest weakness lay in the fact that they were breeding in a very unique manner. Most races had two genders, the Godhay had five. One of those five genders could breed with any of the other four, but they were extremely few and would always be carriers. They would carry the young within their own body until they were ready to hatch, but the other four genders could not do that. It always took three individuals of two of the other genders and one carrier to produce an offspring. Two of the genders would provide what others may describe as sperm, either female or male. The other two were capable of creating what could be described as eggs but only one of them could produce eggs which could become a carrier and that was very rare. So the Godhay slowly went extinct, the victims of their own success. 

CeKay could remember her creator, Shis’hra. He had been ancient even then, and one of the very last ones alive. He had been wise and full of despair, seeing that the talgmarians would turn the galaxy into something dark and terrible if they were allowed to win. The Godhay had never made weapons, not directly anyhow. Much of their technology was of course transformed and used for such purposes but it had never been their original intention. Shis’hra broke that taboo, he tried to make weapons capable of destroying the talgarmians and he did invent things that indeed stopped their progress and forced them back. He did rip their arms off but they still had teeth, and they did still attack and bite whenever they could. The war wasn’t as savage as before, not as grand. But it was still a war, and still ships and lives were lost. He had seen what other races had, what they used and how their tried to find that final thing which would allow them to merge man and machine. To create a weapon with the mind of a living being and the capability of a machine, he went further than that. CeKay had no ideas of what demons rode his tormented mind but he merged technologies from many races, and of many types. 

The first attempts had been mistakes, horrible mistakes which had to be destroyed and destroy them he had. Probably cursing the very day he was hatched for Shis’hra saw all his creations as his own offspring, as his spawn. Some became mentally insane, unable to cope with the hard facts of what they were. Others didn’t function at all, or had the mind of a toddler. A few seemed to be perfect but revealed serious flaws when it came to ethics and understanding. And some were downright homicidal and uncontrollable. The Cushrians caught wind of what he was doing, and to them this was the ultimate sin, it was beyond blasphemy and even if they had used Shis’rha’s genius many times over an order was given for his arrest. She didn’t know who had warned him, or why. All she knew was that she was the only perfect one, the only one who worked the way she was supposed to. And he didn’t want to see her go. So he had given her an order and she had followed it, and when the Cushrian soldiers did break into the laboratory they found a lot of crushed synths and in the backroom a long row of standard C class synths ready to be tested, including CeKay. One of the soldiers had gambling debt to pay and sold her, and so she ended up as a part of the crew of the crashed ship. 

Artan didn’t know of this, if he had he would have been even more suspicious and CeKay knew that Shis’hra had died in prison, of old age, before anyone could accuse him of anything. The irony was that his invention could have been the downfall of the talgmarians, once and for all. But this nobody knew of and nobody cared. 

CeKay had discovered an open patch of sea not far from the crash site and she had jumped in and discovered that the ocean was teeming with life. She had discovered a sort of animal with a thick hide and fur and she killed some, dragged them back to the tent. The pelts could be made into clothing and so she did. She made simple but warm coats and Artan grumbled something about her being too smart. Standard synths had very limited programs, and they ability to learn new things were often blocked to prevent them from getting too much like a person. She spent a few days making clothes and then they had to move on, cracks had appeared close to the small camp and they had to leave the wreckage behind. She had made some sleds from pieces of hull and they did slide easily over the hard surface but she was careful not to reveal how strong she really was.   
Artan was suffering from a sort of paranoia and it was just getting worse. He acted in a manner which caused her to suspect that he was going slightly mad, overcome with grief and also a sense of guilt. If he had been able to fix the engines they wouldn’t have been there in the first place and everybody would have been alive. Tonjar was silent most of the time, and that was an even worst sign. She knew how the human mind worked, he too felt survivor’s guilt and he was terrified of the surroundings. Neither of the two men had been to a planet like this, and ice and snow wasn’t that common at all. Moving forth went slow, the cold air could damage lungs if they breathed too hard and they couldn’t risk getting sweaty neither. CeKay knew that she couldn’t leave them, they would die without her and she felt that she owed Silfry a lot and wanted to repay it by saving these two last crew members. They put up the tent and slept when they felt like it, there was no sun or moon but every now and then an eerie display of aurora borealis swept across the stars and illuminated the ice with strange unnatural colors. It was beautiful but it only served to remind them of where they were. 

After a week and a half both men started to get problems, they had food since CeKay could find cracks in the ice and fish using wire from the crashed jumper and they did use oil to melt ice into drinking water but it just wasn’t enough. Physically they could make it but their psyche was working against them both. And another factor started to claim its toll on them as well, the gravity of this planet was higher than what they were used to. On most ships the G generators were only capable of reproducing something akin to 90% of full gravity and those ten percent that was added here did slowly make itself known. Even such a small deviation would make people less strong and more brittle and worst even, it weakened their heart muscle. In some huge ships, like the giant warships or those which served as cities in space gravity was divided into different zones, according to the need of different races. Some races preferred higher gravity whilst others suffered if the gravity came above a certain level which to other races were abnormally low. Here the men had no choice, and CeKay had no way of helping them. 

In time they would go stronger, their bones would harden and their hearts would adapt to the stress but so far they hadn’t had time to adjust and they had to stop and rest a lot. Progress was slow, very slow. CeKay knew that in eleven days they had travelled less than fifty miles, out of at least fifteen hundred. If the ice had been smooth it would have been easy but it wasn’t, it was a labyrinth of cracks and bergs and canyons and huge hills and it was easy to get lost. CeKay was a navigator, she did use the stars and did stay on the right course but sometimes they had to make huge turns to get around an area too hard to cross on foot. They had been on the ice for fifteen days when Tonjar suddenly slipped on the ice and fell. The men wore boots made for use in a spaceship, they were heavy and solid and had a magnetic sole in case of G generator failure but they were never meant to be used on ice. The ice wasn’t soft or brittle in any way, it was terribly solid and also very rough and the soles had been worn down until they were smooth and slick with no pattern left at all. 

CeKay had tried to make boots out of the skin of those odd sea mammals but both men refused to use them, they felt that their familiar well worn boots were better. And now Tonjar paid the price for his conviction. He fell hard onto a protruding piece of ice and let out a yell of pain. CeKay could immediately see that he had broken his right arm, it was a nasty fracture and the bone protruded from the flesh and looked very grotesque. Artan swore and Tonjar whimpered and moaned in agony. They had no medicine for the medical kit every jumper was supposed to carry had been nowhere to be seen and CeKay knew that it was only so much she could do now. They managed to set the fracture, to put a splinter on the arm and bandage the open wound but Tonjar was sweating and panting and he had lost a lot of blood in a short time. They put up the tent, there was nothing else to do and CeKay knew that they would have to wait until Tonjar got better before they could move again . 

And so she and Artan started to go hunting for more of those clumsy animals, the meat was edible although not very good and the furs were nice. CeKay knew that every eco system has its top predators but she hadn’t seen any and so she had sort of pushed that thought away. Until one evening when they came across an animal which was freshly killed by something large. Artan feared that the beast could be close by whatever it was and he insisted on carrying the pulse rifle. CeKay let him, knowing that it make him feel a bit safer and in control of the situation. The footprints left by the animal were huge and she just knew that this was a beast well worthy of respect. 

Tonjar got worse, the wound had become infected and Artan tried to clean it by cutting away the damaged tissue. This caused Tonjar to pass out from the pain and CeKay could see how the infection was spreading through his body. Her eyes were able to pick up infrared light as well as the other spectrums and he was burning up. After two more days the arm was stinking and she suggested amputation, it was the last resort but the only thing that may save him. Artan refused and Tonjar was getting delirious. CeKay knew he wouldn’t make it, but still she tried to help, tried to find some solution. Then one evening when they returned from fishing they found the tent torn apart and Tonjar missing. There was blood everywhere and she knew Tonjar was dead. The animal had probably caught the scent of the festering wound and she regretted that she hadn’t cauterized it when it was fresh. That could have stopped an infection but it would likely have killed him since they didn’t have anything to numb the pain. Artan lost it. He insisted on following the beast and she didn’t try to stop him, he was getting delirious as well and she suspected that this very place was the cause of his mental decline. He had been so self assure, so at home up there among the stars. It had been everything he knew and now he was in an entirely different place, in an environment so unfamiliar it could have been in another universe. It could make any man snap. 

She and Artan did track the animal, it was easy to follow because of the trail of blood and they found it rather fast, at the bottom of an ice canyon where it was busy devouring what was left of Tonjar. It was a huge beast, white with long fur and four strong legs with claws. It had a long head with strong jaws and black eyes and when it did notice them it went up on its hind legs, roaring. CeKay could smell it, her sense of smell was extremely keen and it picked up every nuance of the animals scent. It was a male, it was at its prime and it was angry for having been disturbed. CeKay knew that the beast wasn’t to blame, it had just followed its instincts and easy prey is easy prey, nothing more than that. Artan felt different, he was driven mad with grief and he charged the animal, not considering its strength at all. He was trying to fire the pulse rifle but it malfunctioned, the mechanisms had gotten stuck due to the cold and so he pulled a knife, trying to pierce the animal’s bright white fur. 

CeKay didn’t try to intervene, it would have been fruitless. She could kill that animal like it was a mere fly but she felt that it was Artan’s fight. It was one he would lose but it was nevertheless his fight. He hacked at the animal and the beast roared and hit him with one massive paw, it was terribly strong and the hit sent the man flying. Artan hit the ice hard but held onto the long curved knife, and as the beast bent down to bite he thrust the blade upwards, into its throat. The beast let out a howl of agony and a huge paw landed on Artan’s face, literally ripped it off the bone and the animal growled and collapsed on top of the dying man. CeKay sighed, both the man and the beast died there, and she knew she was alone once more. And this time she was completely alone too. She didn’t need the tent but she did fold the remains together and put it into the pack. She even brought the pulse rifle along with her, maybe it would function again whence she reached warmer regions. To her it didn’t matter where she stayed but she felt that she should alert someone of the demise of the ship and its crew and maybe, just maybe that chance would come if she did make it south. 

So she walked on, much faster than before and she dragged all of their stuff behind her with ease. She estimated that she would use a few weeks to cross the ice and then suddenly she had to slow down, apparently she wasn’t alone on the ice after all. One day she came across tracks, a wide road of tracks, of many feet which had turned the snow to a hard surface and she just knew that this had to be a huge group of creatures. The tracks did look human but there were also some strange round tracks and some grooves which had to come from some sort of vehicle. She decided to follow, maybe this ice desert had inhabitants after all. She only believed that for a few hours, then she found the first corpses. It was two dead bodies, buried in the snow in a haste and she realized that these were no denizens of this frozen wasteland. She uncovered the bodies, to investigate. At first she thought they were human, then she saw a few very subtle and yet important differences. Both were male and very tall and also very skinny, their clothing had been removed and she did see that the bodies were more or less hairless even where humans normally have hair. The ears were pointy and the facial features what she knew would be described as very beautiful among humans. Both looked very young and she got a bit confused, what sort of race was this? 

Both had very long silky hair which had been carefully braided and even though the burial had been done in a hurry it was rather obvious that they had been mourned for they had been placed with great care and their faces covered with some pieces of very fine cloth. She got curious, her medical programming kicked in and she realized that this in fact was a race with extreme longevity. They didn’t age at all. Their telomers didn’t shorten as they got older and thus they remained forever youthful. And they had a remarkable robust physique too. She found no trace of disease nor injury, it was the cold which had killed these two, and a lack of food. Something terrible had happened. Were these refugees? Had some disaster driven them from their home? She had to find out. 

It took CeKay little less than a day to reach the long trail of wandering people. It was indeed a huge group, maybe somewhere between twelve and fifteen thousand of them and she became aware of the fact that many had died, not just two. All were dressed in everything from cloaks made from some soft materials to animal hides and nobody were really equipped for this environment. Among them were some thousand animals, tall four legged beasts with a long mane and a tail and it was obvious that they were treasured by the wanderers. The animals were even thinner than their masters and struggled to move on, but CeKay found them beautiful in spite of that. They suffered as their masters did and yet they did pull some sorts of sleds behind them, containing every sort of belongings. It appeared that these people had some sort of goal, that they were heading somewhere and she realized after a few hours that they too were heading southeast. They were trying to cross the ice and she made a decision. She wanted to help them, these were civilized beings, they seemed to be rather developed and they did carry objects made from metal. 

That night she went into camouflage mode and did sneak into the camp. There were people everywhere, shivering from the cold, trying to huddle up together in heaps to stay warm. There were young ones crying for food and warmth and something inside of her realized that she was feeling empathy. She did pity them. They were all very beautiful and she didn’t really care why they were travelling thus, she wanted to help. She slid between primitive tents like a shadow, completely blending in with her surroundings and yet one of the males almost spotted her, keen grey eyes seemed to trace her movements and she realized that these creatures had superior senses too. So she tried to move as little as possible as she made her way through this moving city. They seemed to be divided into fractions or rather families which in turn followed even greater groups and they had to have a leader. She stopped by the place where they had corralled in their animals, some were too weak to stand up and she saw that there were a few bags of something left there. One of the people had fed some of the animals from them and she crept up and opened one of the bags. It contained some sort of dried plant which smelled very nice and she understood that these beautiful animals were herbivores. And there were no plants on the ice. 

She started to form a plan in her head, she did sneak up on a tent which looked a bit larger than the others and there she stopped, crouched down and listened. The inhabitants used a very lovely language with soft sounds and it seemed to be very intricate too. She could hear that the two talking were males, their voices deep and full and she engaged her translating program. The language wasn’t known in any database but the translator could quickly pick out a few words it could give an estimated translation of. She heard them use the word losses, death, children and starvation. Then they used a word which could only be the animals, they were horses and they were starving too. She listened for a while. The odd sea mammals were seals, they were hunting them but didn’t manage to catch enough to feed everybody. They were cold, many had died. 

CeKay did sneak out of the camp with determination glowing in her eyes, she knew how to help. She ran ahead of the group, knew what course they were following and before long she did find a rather large opening in the ice. As she had been diving before she had noticed huge forests of sea vegetation, kelp and other plants too, now she started pulling huge masses of the greenery up and secured it just beneath the surface by throwing pieces of it onto the ice where it immediately froze into place. She also gathered as much crustaceans and fish as she could and tangled it all into the mass of plants. That ought to keep them fed for a little while but they needed so much more. The ocean wasn’t deep, some of the ice almost touched bottom and somewhere there were huge grooves where it had been digging into the sea bed. She found a lot of mussels which she left on the edge of the ice and she tried to make it look as if some freakish incident had thrown it all onto the ice. But they needed more food, much more and so she ran ahead again, finding yet another gap in the ice. There had to be something else to eat down there, and this hole was huge and clearly something held it open and prevented it from freezing over. She did dive again, she didn’t need air and she could withstand a crushing pressure and insane temperatures, it didn’t bother her at all. Her senses did expand, she was in utter darkness now but still she did see using sonar. Her creator had been doing an excellent job indeed. There had to be something edible down there. 

After a while she sensed that something was approaching her, something massive and she swiftly made an image of the thing. It was huge, almost half the size of the crashed ship and it was moving but slowly. As she got closer she could hear its heart, and sense that it was yet another mammal but way larger than the seals. Her brain picked up everything about this being, its length and weight, its strength and its ability to think. She didn’t know it but it was a sperm whale, an old male. He was ancient, already almost two hundred years old and he was battered and worn out by his many long years. He was still a giant but his strength was waning and he was well past his prime. There were many years since the last time he had managed to win the affection of a female, he still had his impressive size as one of the largest ever of his species but he was no longer fit for a fight. 

He had fought sharks almost half his size, giant octopuses three times longer than his own body. He had conquered every ocean on this world and knew them all like some ancient song burned into one’s memory but he had been beaten now, one time too many. He kept living and kept hunting just out of old habit, his mind too proud to simply give in. He had been swimming with a pod of females when orcas did attack. They went for the weak ones, the calves. They had little chance against a grown sperm whale and they knew that too darn well, but the male had been separated from the pod and one orca had done something rather odd. It had bitten into his left fin and almost torn it clean off. The male had gotten his revenge, one swift swipe with his tail had broken the orca’s back but the pectoral fin was ruined and now he couldn’t swim as fast as before. The pain and the shame of the injury lasted for a long while and so he started to travel on his own. And now he was trapped in this area covered with ice, dependent upon a few breathing holes he had to constantly struggle to keep open. Without them he would drown. 

The male was still a capable hunter but he had to hunt for smaller prey now, and at this age his teeth had started to drop out as well. Where he once had been the mightiest fighter of the ocean he now hunted small squid and even fish, no longer the giant octopuses of the deep. The scar tissue ran deep and caused him great discomfort and yet he kept swimming, kept living because that was all he knew. He had been feeding rather well on a school of squid and was heading back to the breathing hole when he realized that he wasn’t alone. He had a sort of sixth sense and it told him that he was being watched. His sonar focused, capable of knocking other beings out with just one thrust but it didn’t find anything there. He got confused, swam ahead and tried again. Nothing, but he knew something was there, then he sort of felt that there indeed was something ahead of him but it was small, way smaller than even an orca and he relaxed. Such a small thing was no danger, it was probably a stray seal or something like that. 

CeKay knew that this was no mere beast, this was a sentient being, a creature old and wise and self aware as she was. It had a soul and it even had a name for itself but she needed the meat. Besides, the male was very old and it was dying. He didn’t know it, but his body had started to slowly shut down. Before long he would take that final dive towards the great depths and never return, and leave a legacy only through the many calves he had sired. She felt sorry, and sad even as she used her superior strength to ram a huge spear of steel hard ice straight into the old whale’s chest and heart The old male felt a horrible pain pierce his side and he turned his massive head to bite, to find the opponent, to kill but he found nothing and his heart stopped beating. His eyes saw nothing, only darkness and his last thought was one of silent acceptance, he had outlived his days, now he would rest.

CeKay needed to bring the carcass to the surface and she used the fact that his lungs still contained air, and the oil in his massive head was warming up and becoming lighter, he had been moving upwards and he still did, even in death. She just gave the body some pushes and the dead whale did break the surface. But it would sink again soon of she didn’t anchor it so she used sea weed and formed a sort of rope which attached the tail to the edge of the ice. It would of course seem suspicious but she couldn’t do it any other way. To wait until the body floated on its own would take too long and by then the meat would be spoiled too. She made sure to push a huge amount of sea weed up onto the ice and then she ran back, they had to find this mountain of blubber and meat, it would feed them at least once. 

CeKay went into camouflage mode again and hid behind the last stragglers, she listened to them talking and started learning a few new words, like polar bear, which apparently was the huge white animal that killed the men, and someone named Morgoth who apparently was some sort of enemy. She hoped that these people would find the things she had provided for them, they needed it sorely and she had found that she in fact liked them. They had grit to continue to travel like this and determination and not a small amount of courage. She would stick with them, for what else could she really do on this world? It could be interesting and she was curious, being inquisitive and eager to learn new things was something her creator had made sure to add to her personality and now it kicked into overdrive. There was so much to learn from these beings! 

He was busy trying to organize the journey, there were children who needed to ride the sleds and there were adults too weak to walk too. The horses were close to collapsing and his heart did bleed for their poor patient steeds. They had ever only had the fair pastures of Aman under their hooves and now they had dragged them into this cold hell and yet the horses tried to pull and do their best, even if it was killing them. He saw that his own stallion was limping, the strong muscles almost gone and the fire in the soft dark eyes almost extinguished. They had killed twenty horses the last day, animals too weak to move and there had been many tears and great grief but the meat had been very welcome. He made sure the children and the nissi got the best meat, it just wasn’t enough. He was shivering to the bone, he had never felt that cold in his life and he wept for them all, they were probably not going to make it. 

Almost two weeks earlier they had seen something on the horizon to the north, a sort of bright flash followed by intense light and it had reminded him of the burning ships at Losgar. Some thought it was a sign but nothing had happened and now the incidence was forgotten completely. They had seen that eerie flickering light across the skies often now, at first it had spooked them but now it was something they had gotten used to, it didn’t harm them and it did provide some extra light but he found that he had started to hate it. It reminded him too much of what they had lost, and it taunted and mocked his hopes every day. He was about to give his horse his last little dried apple when there was a shout. “There is an open patch of water ahead, and something on the ice!”

A servant came running, frantic looking. “My lord?” 

He tensed up, felt a surge of excitement, of hope. “Arm the archers, if there is seals there we could perhaps manage to kill a few before they have time to get off the ice”

The long line of elves stopped, he stared as archers were sneaking forward, disguised with the pelts of polar bears. Then one waved an arm. “No seals, but there is something else here. My lord, you have got to see this!”

He ran forth, along the ragged edge of the ice something dark was hanging and one elf got hold of it and pulled some pieces of it free. It appeared to be some sort of plant? There was grasses growing in the rivers and lakes back home, but he hadn’t known that there was such things growing here, in the ice cold polar sea. He knelt down next to the elf, grasped onto the long sleek leaf, it was twice as wide as his hand and three foot long, an inch thick and it did smell a bit salty but a wild hope did awaken within him. He pulled off his glove, felt it, ripped it apart and bit into the soft mass. It did taste of something rather odd but it wasn’t salty, and the taste wasn’t unpleasant. He got up. “Everybody, get as much as you can out of the water, this is edible.” 

Elves ran to the edge of the open water, desperately pulling at the sea weed and kelp and huge amounts came slowly up from the deep. And tangled within it was mussels and crabs and other sea creatures too, even fish. Something must have happened to throw it all up like that but he didn’t care what it was. Some of the elves cheered. “Behold, it must be a gift of Ulmo, praised be the lord of the waters”   
He didn’t know, maybe the vala were on their side in this but now they had to salvage the catch before it all froze solid. There were several tons of under sea vegetation and the elves did discover that most of it could be eaten. A few elves offered pieces to their horses who eagerly devoured the gifts and before long they had managed to spread the kelp into huge heaps and let the horses eat. The animals were desperate and had to be restrained not to eat too much in one go but it was like a miracle. The crustaceans and other sea creatures would make a good dinner for many and he made sure that everybody got at least a little. Elves can survive on very little food, but they do need some, in special when they are spending so much energy staying warm and moving forth. His sons were busy taking care of the distribution but Fingon came forth, carrying a crabs leg, it was as large as his arm and he held it out. “Atar, this is for you” 

He swallowed hard, hunger tore at his belly and he had felt weaker by the day. “I am grateful son, but there are nissi and elfings who need this more than I” 

Fingon stared at him, the blue eyes very determined. “Then I won’t eat either, we need you atar, you cannot afford to lose your strength” 

His son’s voice was pleading and he felt his resolve crumble. He took the leg and used his knife to pry the hard outer shell open. The meat inside was pale and looked juicy and he had to gather all his resolve not to tear into it like a beast. The taste was a bit like chicken and he gasped as the juices filled his throat and stomach with much needed sustenance. It was wonderful, he barely had time to chew, chunks of meat went down his throat and made him cough but he kept eating, felt how the sensation of eating was something almost new to him. For how long had they wandered across this wasteland? He had lost track of time completely! Everywhere elves were stuffing themselves with food, raw and unfamiliar but edible still and he saw that the hope returned to their eyes. 

He saw that his brother’s daughter was sitting next to her brothers, desperately ripping a fish apart with her bare hands, shivering as she devoured it raw. He saw high ranking noble men doing the same, nissi cracking open sea urchins for their elflings, ner ripping open huge king crabs for their wives. It was a feast, an odd bizarre and pretty gruesome feast but one none the less. After a while the elves had eaten their fill and yet there was some left. Some suggested that the kelp maybe could be dried and burned and he agreed. They should try that. As the group slowly started to wander again the remains were loaded onto the sleds and many walked with newfound strength and vigor. If this was a sign it was a good one, maybe they would reach the other side after all, maybe there was hope. 

Turgon and Argon ran beside the sled with the remaining fish, both had gotten some color back and Turgon’s wife and daughter was riding the sled. Both too tired to walk much further. Aredhel too was on a sled, her feet sore and her body rather weak. He feared for them all and wondered yet again what he had done when he insisted upon following his brother. It was madness, but less than that which rode Fëanor. At least he could say that. That day they managed to cross quite a lot of ground and the guards watching the back reported of having a feeling of being watched but they saw nothing at all. He did take it seriously, after all, they were good ner who had served him well for many a yeni and if they said they were watched and followed they were. But by what, or whom? 

The next day came with a blizzard that forced them to stay stuck but the third day it died down and they could move forth yet again. They came a long way before someone called out. Between two huge frozen bergs there was a patch of flat ice and in it was a huge area of very thin ice. Something lay in the middle of it and they slowed down and stared in awe at the colossus which lay there, dead. He blinked, could not believe his own eyes. “It is a whale?” 

Turgon nodded. “Yes atar, it is a whale. A dead whale! “

Fingon yelled. “Someone, find rope, we have to pull it up onto the ice!”

There was frantic action, elves running around desperately, horses unhitched from the sleds, rope found and using spears and walking sticks they managed to get rope around the massive tail. He felt a bit sad watching the dead beast, it was magnificent but he could see that it was old. The skin scarred and covered with barnacles and its left pectoral fin almost gone. The tail was tangled into sea weed and he wondered how that had happed, was the lord of the waters really helping them? 

Hundreds of elves and horses started pulling, the ice was thick and smooth there and the surface did tilt towards the edge of the water, it made it possible to drag the carcass onto dry land. It was a monumental effort for the whale was enormous, at least eighty tons of mass and yet they managed to do it. Some even climbed onto the carcass and cleared away the ice and others carved grooves in the ground to get rid of body fluids. It took two hours but then the whale was on the ice, the entire beast. It lay there and many just stood there, staring. It was like watching a dead God, a behemoth of the seas which should have been alive and swimming, not laying there so robbed of its dignity and grandeur. Some of the warriors took their swords and started cutting away at the beast, huge chunks of fat and meat. The fat could be burned in lamps and cinches and the oil in its head burned too.   
He yelled orders, every pot and kettle and barrel available were to be filled with the stuff and they sat up camp there. Before long elves were cooking food for the first time since they entered the ice desert and some wept with relief. The burning oil did smell terrible but to them it didn’t matter, all that mattered was to get warm food in their bellies. Meat was prepared, and the nissi made racks from spears and the shafts of the sledges onto which the meat could be hung and dried. In the middle of the desperate activity someone suddenly screamed, a loud splash was heard and there was even more screaming. He ran to the water’s edge, a nis sat on the ice, being held back by two ner as she screamed and clawed towards the water. “ My daughter, my baby”

One of the ner stared at him with huge eyes. “She fell in, slipped and fell in!”

He closed his eyes, falling into this water was a death sentence, even to an elf, it was freezing cold and the child couldn’t swim in the thick cloaks and clothes the little one’s wore. She was gone. Then there was a loud splash and a dark figure flew out of the water and landed on the ice like it had been shot out of a catapult. It writhed and coughed violently and then it started to wail, loud terrified screams. It was the child and the mother ran forth and grasped the little girl desperately, tore the wet clothing off and dragged her into a tent. It was a miracle. 

He just stared, it had been impossible. Something in the water had saved that child, had tossed it back onto the ice like it was a ragdoll. He hesitated, then he walked slowly to the edge, stared down into the frigid bluish green sea. For a swift second he could have sworn he saw a pair of eyes glowing deep down below, then they were gone and he let the air out of his lungs, hadn’t known he had been holding it. Fingon walked up to him, he looked as if he was deeply shocked by what had happened. “Atar, what is is?” 

Fingolfin turned to his son and tried to smile, but his face felt stiff, almost strange. “It seems as if we have a savior my son, but I have no idea of who it is, or what it is. But it is mightier than us all.” 

Fingon stared at the now tranquil sheet of water, he had never seen his father that shaken before. What had he seen down there? He had a strong sense that they all soon would find out who this mysterious savior was.


	3. From the ashes I shall rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CeKay have been discovered and she had to tell a convenient little lie, and she does help the elves when orcs show up, but is it a wise decision?

Chapter three: From the ashes I shall rise…

Virtual reality - computer Override  
Actual fantasy locked away Inside  
Am I no more than a Program  
An artificial dream  
A river of electrons flowing with the stream  
A parallel dimension; battle simulations  
Mind over matter, brain stimulation  
I don't know if I exist; I think therefore I am  
Without emotions I'm but a hologram  
There's no escape, I'm locked in this universe  
Where fantasy dies, material lies  
Computer eyes  
(Ayreon: computer eyes)

 

She had done a mistake, but there was no way back now. They knew something had helped that child and she already knew these were very intelligent beings. But she was curious and she wanted to help so she stayed close, tried to learn the language, to understand what was going on, why they were in such an inhospitable place. But hiding the way she did had its backsides, she couldn’t get that close to them and she also knew that she couldn’t just show herself to them the way she was now. There were strict laws against that, nobody was to interfere with the development of primitive cultures, most civilizations out there did obey this rule. The Talgmarians didn’t but then again, if they found some new planet with life on it, intelligent or not, they usually wiped it all out within a very short time span.   
CeKay had started to understand a few things, they were all following this one person and his family, and he was someone of importance. He had offspring which followed him and then there were the offspring of his brother and they did follow him too. She had problems understanding why all this happened though, what drove them onto the ice. She stayed close to the primitive tents, tried to snatch up as many words as possible and her language generators were working overtime for this was a very difficult language and a very complex one too. But slowly she started to understand what these lovely creatures were talking about and she knew that she had the chance to get to the bottom of the mystery.   
She tried to protect them, she found more sea weed and brought it up whenever she could, she even killed some seals and left the bodies on the ice for them to find and the dead whale did provide them with food for quite a while. She tried to be as close to this apparent leader as possible and slowly she started to get the picture. They were trying to cross the ice because of a betrayal, and a murder, and theft too. And some creatures named valar had brought them to this paradise a long time ago from the place they now tried to reach but they didn’t try to help them at all. CeKay learned about Morgoth and Fëanor and she wondered what these valar were. They had to be very powerful but at the same time they didn’t match any race she had ever heard of. They were created by the one? That made CeKay wonder if they were the creations of a very mighty entity, she had heard rumors of such creatures, capable of creating entire worlds and forming energy into material form, even creating life.   
But she was sympathetic to their plight, the brother of the leader had abandoned them and she understood his anger and his sorrow too. They were basic emotions and fundamental for all life forms. The elves were moving forth as fast as they could but it was still not very fast, they were so many. CeKay estimated that there were several thousand of them and way more than she had thought to begin with. They had brought weapons along with their stuff and she saw that it was simple metal blades and bows and arrows. Not much help in that if someone advanced attacked and she tried to find out as much as possible about this Morgoth. Apparently he was one of these valar and very old and he had built mighty fortresses and tried to ruin everything the others did constantly. She didn’t like the way that sounded.   
She started to get to know these creatures, she could separate between them and she did notice one of the sons of the leader in special. He was not quite as tall as his father but dark haired like him and he wore golden bands in his braids and seemed to be very sad for some reason. He would often wander on his own and CeKay could see that he was deeply hurt by something. It was very obvious in his body language. She did also see that these people cared a lot for their children, they gave the kids the best food and the best clothing and tried to shelter them in every way possible and that too told her these were a good people. Slowly the landscape changed, the ice became more smooth, with fewer huge bergs and hills but it was thinner and in some places it was very dangerous. The journey slowed down, they had to send scouts ahead searching for the best routes and CeKay wished she had salvaged more of the wreck, she could perhaps have fixed some of the drones but they had probably been smashed too bad.   
She realized that she needed to be able to mingle with them in order to protect them, she couldn’t stay at a distance for then it would be too late if something happened, she had to be among them. CeKay made a decision, it was a grand one but she knew it was the right one, she found a sheltered place between some blocks of ice and there she started a rather amazing transformation. She could reshape herself in almost every conceivable manner and she slowly forced the very cells of her body to change into something different. She was made from artificial cells and each one was a unit in itself, she could reassemble herself completely if only one cell was unharmed and the cells were capable of replicating themselves very fast if there was suitable material available. Now her metallic looking skin was replaced by artificial skin which looked and felt just like living one. She got inner organs, a skeleton, hair. Her inner power source camouflaged as normal organs, but unimaginably more efficient. She had a beating heart and blood even if she didn’t need any of it and when the transformation was over she did look exactly like one of these eldar. She was tall and golden blonde with stark blue eyes and she knew she looked beautiful in the eyes of these beings.   
But her fragile looks were deceitful, she was still a very powerful entity and she could change back within the blink of an eye if she needed to. She had used some dead seals to create clothing, her nanites used the tissue of the dead animals to create cloth, and she also had snatched some cloth from graves left behind. She looked like them and she just hoped that nobody would react upon her being unfamiliar. There were so many of them, nobody could know each one personally. That night she joined the stragglers at the back and nobody reacted to her. Everybody had more than enough with their own fear and misery and she was just another face among the others. Probably someone who had lost her company and sought the comfort of surrounding herself with others and that was familiar by now.   


Some nights the aurora would flicker over the skies and she wondered at how this planet could support life with no sun, apparently there had been some trees which provided light and heat and she had never heard anything that bizarre before but then again, why not really? She had seen the huge caves of the planetoid known as BT-202-C/Dhaki, all lighted and heated by some odd forms of mushroom like growths adapted to living in space. Her first master had tried to make some sort of fuel from them but failed. The aurora seemed to fill the elves with hope and yet fear and she knew they had no understanding of technology nor science and yet they had some pretty impressive things. The metal of their blades was very good and she had seen some sort of lamps which provided light without a battery or anything like that. Apparently this Fëanor person had created them, and some gems which trapped the light of those trees too. CeKay started to suspect that the creatures which were governing this planet, the so called valar, could be very advanced but that they didn’t allow their subjects to develop a technology based culture. Or they allowed only a certain degree of it, she didn’t know but she really wanted to find out.   
The group was crossing a stretch of flat ice when a piece of it suddenly just flipped, there had to be cracks underneath the sheet of snow which nobody had seen and several elves fell into the water. CeKay was not right there but she ran towards the sound of screams and she saw that some were pulled out of the water already. But some remained because they were too far from the edge and she saw that one of the sons of the leader was trying to jump in but being held back by others, apparently his mate was among those trapped in the frigid sea and CeKay reacted without really thinking. She ran forth and dove in, a very low dive and she didn’t even make a splash as she slid through the water like a knife through butter. She felt how the water was different to her now than before, she wasn’t as streamlined and her clothes and hair created drag but she could swim like a dolphin and grasped onto a body which was sinking rapidly. She pulled it up, used all her techniques to get the person up and she reached air again and grasped onto a spear someone held out. The person hauled her in and she stared at the unconscious female in her arms. The female was very lovely and the son of the leader let out a wail and threw himself down next to her, tried to shake the blond female back to life. CeKay could see that the elf was close to death, she wouldn’t survive if nothing was done and so she ignored the terrified male and turned the female over onto her side, shook her to drain the lungs. Then she discretely gave the body a few well aimed electrical shocks and it restarted the heart and the female jerked and coughed and her eyes rolled.   
CeKay wished she had had some powercells from the crashed ship, this female needed heat a lot and now she did see that a young female stood behind the male, and she did look very scared too. It had to be this couple’s offspring and CeKay knew she had exposed herself now, no elf would have been able to save the female like that but she would just have to use it for all it was worth. She could perhaps help them by making them believe she was one of the servants of those valar? She had heard them speak of something called maiar, lesser beings than the valar. She could pretend to be one of them, one not following a master, a rouge maia of some kind.   
The female coughed and moaned and her husband cradled her in his arms and he was weeping with relief, CeKay felt a bit uncertain, she had no idea of how they would react. The leader had arrived, he was very tall and very impressive and the blue eyes were filled with intelligence and also deep wisdom. He stared at her, tilting his head. “You saved my son’s wife, I am very grateful, but who are you? You have helped us haven’t you?”   
She got up, the wet clothing was freezing fast but she didn’t care about that. She nodded. “I have”   
She made her voice soft and gentle on purpose and the tall male pressed his lips together, his eyes were narrow. “You are not one of us, for you are so much more powerful than any living being I have met, Are you a maia?”   
She would have swallowed if she could, telling a lie should be easy for her and yet it wasn’t. “Yes”   
He frowned. “Serving which Vala?”   
She raised her chin, facing him without fear and without challenging him at the same time. “None, I serve no vala”   
He saw that Turgon was massaging Elenwë’s hands and legs and she was obviously going to survive, it was a miracle. This female was almost as tall as himself, her features not fitting with any of the tribes and she was impressive, and clearly not an elf even if she did look like one. He tilted his head. “I have never heard of a maia not serving the valar, what is your name?”   
She didn’t blink, that was a bit unnerving. “My name is CeKay”   
The elf frowned again, he had never heard a name like that and tried to pronounce it, it felt odd to say it. “CsseeeKaayeh?”  
She smiled, shook her head. “No, Ce-Kay, just that”   
He nodded and stared again. “Why are you helping us?”   
She didn’t flinch or look away. “Because I like you, you are good people”   
She pointed at the female. “Erect the tents and burn some whale oil in a kettle, it should heat her back up again”   
He nodded slowly and Turgon carried Elenwë off, Idril followed them and Fingolfin stared at the strange nis once more. She had the stance of a queen and he was starting to suspect that she was even more dangerous than a normal maia could be. “Have you followed us the whole way?”  
She shook her head. “No, I joined you some time ago”   
There were several warriors lined up around them now, all aware of the stranger in their midst and ready to protect their king. She had to smile, they adored this male and would do anything for him, but she was glad they never would have to fight something like her. They would lose in a heartbeat. “Did you live here on the ice?”   
She shook her head. “No, I fell down, from above.”   
The elves stared at each other, not really understanding this and Fingolfin cleared his throat. “Didn’t you ascend to Arda with the others when the great song was sung? Are you new to our world?”   
She nodded. “Yes, I was bored up there and wanted to explore”   
It seemed as if the elves did buy that explanation, she was surprised. The leader bowed his head. “We are honored by your presence, is there anything for which you wish?”   
She shook her head. “Only for you all to be careful, this is a dangerous area. I can do a lot to keep you safe but then you will have to obey my command.”   
He looked reluctant and she stared at him. “You don’t trust me, and I do not blame you. After all, trust must be earned right? But I am not your brother, I will not abandon you”   
He gasped and his eyes got large, then he stared down. “I…I trust you, what should we do?”   
She had to think fast now, not to blow her own lie sky high. “First of all, spread out more, don’t make one long line, the ice cannot take all that weight. Split up into smaller groups and make sure that everybody are tied together with rope.”   
He nodded slowly and she sighed and turned her head around. “ I will make sure you have food, and I will fend off any dangerous animals but I cannot be everywhere at once, be careful.”   
The elves nearby were staring at her with awe and she felt guilty for fooling them into believing that she was one of their gods, but that was the only way she could help them. The truth would only confuse them. Fingolfin waved his hand. “We make camp here, many are in need of heat and food and we need to reorganize the host.”   
The elves started finding a safe place to erect the tents and before long the camp was rather large. Fingolfin stared at the female with a sense of awe and doubt. Could she really help them? Was she on their side or was this some trick? There were maiar serving Morgoth but he saw no reason why any of them would be out on the ice. It was a mystery. “Come with me, you are welcome in my tent”   
She followed him and the huge tent was already up. His other sons and his daughter were already there, trying to get warm again. Fingolfin gestured towards the pelts spread across the floor and she sat down, gracefully and without a sound. “You have just descended, what do you know of our enemy, of Morgoth?”   
She leaned a bit forth. “Not much, other than that he has been bothering the valar since the very beginning, and that he stole the jewels your half brother created”   
Fingolfin swallowed. “ I have no idea of what we will encounter whence we reach the other side, if any of the elves who chose to stay are still there, or if he has enslaved them all. We don’t even know if Fëanor has managed to do anything at all, we just know he must have burned the ships”   
She sensed the anguish in his voice, and shame too and she remembered what she had heard of the so called kinslaying. Killing others of the same race was obviously a sort of taboo for these people. She looked at the young male with the golden bands in his hair, he was staring at the ground, and she could see that he was upset. Fingolfin continued. “The valar have cursed us, and we cannot return. By helping us you may earn their wrath as well”   
She had to grin, as if she cared about that. She liked these valar less by the minute, they seemed like they were a wee bit too fond of control and power, not at all her favorite kind of beings. “ I fear not, believe me. I have made my choice and I stand by it”   
Fingolfin heard that her accent was a bit odd, and that intrigued him, it told him she was telling the truth. She wasn’t from Valinor for sure. He gestured towards one of the servants who stood by the wall, they had not brought much which wasn’t absolutely needed but they did have a little wine left and the servant poured a little in two cups. “Then let us toast on that.”   
CeKay knew that this was some sort of alcohol, her receptors sort of scanned the content of the glass in a few seconds and she knew its entire chemical composition. It wasn’t harmful, at least not in small doses and she realized that this was something which was meant to taste good. She tilted her head. “Indeed, I will do whatever I can to help you reach your goals”   
She could of course eat now, her body had created the right organs and the digestive system was efficient, so efficient she would produce no waste. She drank the wine and the sensation she categorized as taste wasn’t too bad at all. It was fruity and sweet and she smiled and put the glass down. A servant entered the tent and bowed his head. “Your son’s wife is doing well, she is awake and unharmed.”   
CeKay smiled, she was glad, she hated the idea of more dying and she also knew that these elves did take the loss of a loved one very hard. Fingolfin let out a sigh of relief, Turgon would have been crushed if she had died, Elenwë had been so brave following them and Idril would not do well without her mother. CeKay got up again. “ Tomorrow I will try to find a safer path, one where the ice is stronger.”   
He nodded and reached out, took her hand and seemed to examine it. It was warm and firm and felt like just about any other hand. Nothing odd about it at all. He wondered what Fëanor would think of this, if he would be impressed finding out that his brother had been helped by a maia. Again he wished he knew where his brother was and how he was faring, he had felt a strange restless and almost empty feeling in his chest for a while, and it made him fear the worst. But his brother couldn’t die, he was too strong, to fierce. No, nothing could break Fëanor, he was like the very imperishable flame itself, he would continue to burn forever and he remembered the flames in his eyes by the square when that fateful oath was spoken.   
Could this strange female perhaps tell them of what his brother was doing? She hadn’t mentioned such power so perhaps that was beyond her, but he hoped that she could prevent more from finding an icy death. They had lost too many already. He tried to smile. “Do you have a tent my lady? If not feel free to share this with us, there is more than enough room for one more here”   
She didn’t quite know what to say, not to seem rude or impolite. She bowed her head. “ I thank you for your kind offer, I accept”   
He suspected that she didn’t need such things as a roof over her head or blankets but she didn’t want to seem too unusual. That was rather apparent. The servants brought some extra pelts and some meat was cooked and served, she didn’t eat anything and the elves were staring at her, not openly but from the corner of their eyes, with part awe and part doubt. She tried to figure out what sort of personality the different elves had, the daughter seemed to be of the restless reckless type, she had so much energy. The other son was rather quiet and almost anonymous and rather childish too but the one with the gold ribbons was more moody and sulking and yet he seemed to be just as strong as his father.   
They sat there eating and some other elves joined them, all golden haired and fair and she learned that these were the children of Fingolfin’s brother Finarfin and they had chosen to follow their uncle, eager for new adventures and freedom. She did pay attention to the young female in special, Artanis was her name and she was a great beauty, even among this fair race. CeKay sensed great strength in this one, a sort of silent and yet rebellious determination and she suspected that this was one elf who didn’t bow to anyone, not without having been forced to. When they all went to bed CeKay lay there staring up at the roof, she didn’t need any sort of sleep but she could go into a rest mode to conserve her energy. But just one night was not enough time for that to be needed so she just laid there, trying to make sense of it all.   
She tried to remember what she had seen of this world, to determine what path to take from here and she reached a conclusion after a few hours, the course would have to be more straight eastward, not as much to the south. The ice would be more treacherous near its edge and she didn’t want to risk anybody’s safety.   
And so she started leading them, running ahead, using all her knowledge and before long they all trusted her for she brought them food and kept them safe and she never failed to do what she had said she would. If any of those great white bears came too close she would make them go away, using ultrasound not even the elves could hear. She would detect cracks in the ice from afar and keep them away from them and she would dive and drag seaweed and sea food up so that everybody got fed. And they made progress, with food in their bellies and hope rekindled they all got their energy back and with it the will to reach the other side. CeKay sort of got the whole story, and she realized that the reason why the male named Fingon was so moody was that his cousin and he had been more than just good friends and now they were separated and he didn’t know whether or not his lover had agreed with Fëanor when it came to burning those ships. Most likely he didn’t but who was to say?   
CeKay knew that they were close to the end of the ice when they one day woke up to a bright light on the horizon. It got stronger and stronger and the elves looked shocked and frightened and CeKay stared at the sun with narrow eyes. It was a sun, a real sun. Not a very large one but a middle class yellow dwarf, a stabile star for sure. Right, the valar had to be very powerful indeed for they had managed to either snatch a star, create one out of thin air or move an entire rouge planet into a stabile orbit in a few hours. She didn’t like such displays of power at all. But it did give light and heat and the mood among the elves got a lot better whence the first shock did dissipate. Now they could see the way much better and things were speeding up considerably. She sort of had her doubts though, she felt a change in the air, as if something foul was attached to it and she was sure she had seen smoke on the horizon, far away. Something told her danger was lurking ahead and she started questioning the elves of this enemy and what he was capable of doing.   
When she reached the edge of the ice she had learned a lot and little of it was encouraging, he was capable of creating foul beasts, and horrible weapons and she knew that any enemy worthy of fear would be waiting for them. He surely knew they were coming and so she started scouting while in camouflage mode. The edge of the ice was a desert badland with little food and bitter cold but it was solid land and the elves were cheerful and happy they had managed to get over at all. She knew many would have died if she hadn’t helped them and that made her feel better but this doubt was eating away at her. She was made to be a soldier, to be a spy if need be or even an assassin and she knew that this group was unprepared for any sort of attack. They were great fighters for sure but what if they encountered an army?   
They moved south, along the shores, wanting to get to the place where Fëanor and his host had made landfall. They seemed to have some knowledge of the topography of these lands and CeKay saw that the area got more green and fertile and the horses ate grasses and got healthier and stronger. She started to use her tactics mode, made them place the camp places where it could be defended, and she also tried to convince the elves of the importance of being stealthy, at least until they knew more. Then she saw the first monster, or orc as they called them and she knew trouble was coming. The creature was scurrying away from the campsite and nobody had seen it and she knew it was a scout and that an attack was imminent. She left the camp, it was protected by a very high cliff in two directions but it was open to the north and west and she went down and put her hands on the ground. She could feel vibrations, distant but real, many feet were in motion and she sneered. For a second her eyes were glowing intensely and she went through her basic tactics and chose a rather untraditional one. She released a small swarm of nanites, and they immediately started to replicate themselves, the dust and ashes on these plains was high in minerals and they found all they needed there. A small cloud became a large one which grew by the second and before long it formed almost a sort of ring around the camp. She got up and ran back, shouted a warning to the king. Fingolfin was outside his tent when the strange maia came running, she looked upset and her eyes were glowing in a very eerie manner. She stopped and he suddenly knew that trouble was on its way. “There is an army approaching, it is large, hundreds if not thousands of orcs. They come from northeast”   
Fingolfin held his breath for a second, then he grasped onto the nearest officer and started shouting orders. CeKay saw that they gathered the females and young ones in the center of the camp area and put some of the best warriors around them as protection Some of the females did protest, wanting to fight too, and those with no children were allowed to. They would need every possible fighter now. CeKay felt as if she ought to do more, what options did she have? Each nanite was a part of herself, and she could control them with her own mind and so she released yet another small cloud of them. Not many, just a couple of grams of tissue was transformed into its raw cellular form and she programmed them with the intent of protecting those who couldn’t fight. The children looked terrified and their mothers too and she wished there was something she could do to ease their fears. She saw that the warriors fell into lines and armed themselves, all very silently and thankfully it was a rather dark and windy day and she hoped that the enemy would be surprised by the fact that the elves were expecting them.   
The cavalry got ready too, they didn’t have that many horses and most of them were rather weak still but the strongest were saddled and had riders. Fingolfin had gotten into his armor, they had brought weapons and such because they had been sure they would need it and now that idea payed off. CeKay knew that the enemy was ahead, and approaching fast, she could almost smell them. Quickly she activated the nanites she had left before, told them to go to work when she gave the signal and yet again her eyes were glowing. She bowed her head. “My lord, I will go ahead and see what I can find out, we need to know as much as possible before the attack starts”   
Fingolfin looked worried. “What if they see you?”   
She shook her head. “They won’t, and even if they did they would see only one being.”   
He nodded with some reluctance showing in his face, he worried about her and some part of her found that idea a bit odd. She ran off, the weather was changing and the wind picking up, that was great, it worked to their benefit and she went into camouflage mode yet again. The plain was rather flat but that was in fact an illusion, there were narrow gorges and small valleys everywhere and before long she stared down at the forces of this enemy of theirs. She shuddered, they were awful, and they were so many. Most of the beasts wore rather crude armor and even more crude weapons but these were beings capable of ripping someone in two with their bare hands and she even saw huge monsters which seemed to be rather unintelligent but terribly strong and aggressive. And the entire army was reeking with aggression, with bloodlust and they were sure of their victory. To them this would be just fun and she let out a growl. Oh how she missed the weapons of her previous masters, they would have wiped this entire army out in a matter of seconds.   
But she wasn’t without resources, after all, she was made to be efficient and so she quickly put all her expertise into good use. The huge beasts were the strongest of the lot, and they were basically animals, not even fully self aware but run by instinct alone and she didn’t have time for a decent analysis of their brains but she knew that such creatures have weaknesses. They had been created as canon fodder and to their master they had little value beside of their brute strength. They reminded her of the Ghughii bulls of the planet Atharkas, huge and strong and stupid and prone to fight each other the moment a female was introduced to the lot. She had no inkling of what sort of pheromones these beasts would react to but she quickly extracted and created a whole bunch of them from the nearby soil and minerals. Leaving it all in pockets in the ground, it ought to change their focus for sure.   
Some of the orcs had huge animals with them, some sort of canines and they looked misshapen and odd but they all had fur and so she went to work again. Fur was a disadvantage for any such being, it itches. The army was moving forth, slowly but with determination and she saw that the officers were fierce looking orcs, huge and menacing and probably a lot more intelligent than their more simple minded brethren. She didn’t want to underestimate this enemy, for he was smart. He hadn’t chosen advanced technology but brute sheer force which cost little and could be easily replaced and she tilted her head. A lack of imagination perhaps? Or something which could be exploited?   
But they were getting closer to the camp by the minute and she ran back, uncloaking herself and she stopped by the leader. He was on horseback and looked very regal, and also scared. She made a grimace. “They are close, I will use my…powers…to help you fight them but you have to take them by surprise. If they get here first you will lose”   
He nodded, understanding the logics. The orcs expected to take them all by surprise and just go ahead and slaughter and have fun, but he would have none of that. He sent riders off to the flanks and told the cavalry to lead a surprise attack at the flanks and then retreat to create some disturbance in the order, which could be exploited. CeKay allowed her nanites to go to work, they created a cloud of dust which seemed just natural considering the wind but it wasn’t. It blocked the view of the orcs and the sound of the duststorm also camouflaged the advancing elves and the sound of their feet. She transformed her clothing into an armor, slightly resembling that of these elves and yet different. She didn’t need one but it felt just right and so she ran ahead and found a spot on top of a huge rock where she could see everything around her. She shielded herself from the orcs but she could see them all now, the glow in their eyes and their eager grunts and she just prayed that not too many would die this day She would do her outmost to prevent elves from dying in vain.   
The orcs didn’t slow down due to a lousy dust storm ahead, no, they kept moving and CeKay would have held her breath if she had needed to breathe when all of a sudden two huge groups of riders seemingly exploded out of nowhere and collided with the army along the flanks. The elves trampled and killed and then they retreated before the orcs could gather into a counter attack and the officers roared and seemed a bit confused. They hadn’t believed that the elves knew they were coming and this ruined their plan. CeKay sneered and allowed the pockets of pheromone soaked soil to become active, she saw that the hulking beasts started to slow down, some carried some sort of siege machinery while others were armed with crude spiked clubs or war hammers and now they stopped, eyeing each other with growing fury. Some were on a leach and the orcs controlling them were shouting and trying to make them obey but to no prevail. The huge trolls started attacking each other, not caring about the orcs surrounding them and chaos broke loose. And then CeKay unleashed the nanites she had created and the cloud of dust sort of rushed forth and within it there were vortexes where the sand got picked up and carried off at a tremendous speed. The plain had become a sand blaster, and the orcs were right in its way. It was cruel and a method which would have been banned by the intergalactic council but they didn’t know and she knew that to fight fire you sometimes have to use an even greater fire. The cloud of dust slammed into the army, sand ripped skin from flesh, flesh from bones, became a spinning churning cloud of blood red death leaving a crimson wake.   
The officers screamed orders, trying to make the orcs move forth but panic had taken them and CeKay had been right, these were not soldiers trained to have any sort of empathy for their fellow orcs, nor any sort of bond with his fellow soldier. It was each or for himself and they were all driven by their inborn need for violence and slaughter. They feared their master, had no real loyalty towards him and now they lost whatever fragile discipline they may have had to begin with. They started to run, and that was when the elves charged. CeKay could see it and she allowed her nanites to attack only orcs, and she made the tiny robots she had created attack the huge wolf monsters and create a terrible itch and so they threw their riders or attacked each other in confusion and agony.   
She let her worst programs go to work, orcs would inhale dust filled with nanites and they would congregate in their lungs, clog them up and then burst out again through their chest walls, creating horrible wounds. Some orcs exploded from the inside and the elves moved in unison, with great elegance and discipline. It looked like row after row of people harvesting a crop using slingblades, one swing, one orc down, one step forth, another swing. It was almost mechanical and had an odd and eerie beauty to it and CeKay knew she no longer needed to stay where she was, the nanites were working on their own now. She created a couple of swords for herself, using some discarded orc blades. She simply removed the impurities from the steel, reshaped it and tempered the blades using the heat from her internal thermal reactors. The blades were glowing white hot when she uncloaked herself and went to work. She slashed through the orcs, faster even than an elf and she never missed, her battle programming taking over. She immediately saw her enemy’s weak spot, how to attack to waste no energy and the battlefield had become a chaotic sight, a plain of sheer slaughter. Elves did fell, but fewer than otherwise and she knew that orcs which managed to get past her would face the protection she had created for the females and children.   
Some did in fact get past them, orcs with a bit more courage than the average one or those who just had a wee bit more luck than the others. They rushed towards the camp only to be met by clouds of a fibrous substance which filled their throats and choked them to death. It looked almost like strands of hair, floating in the breeze. Slowly the noise, the screams and shouts and groans died down, the thunder of shuffling feet and hooves with it. The clouds of dust disappeared as well and some of the nanites returned to her, giving her extra energy and replenishing her resources. She learned a lot about these orcs in a matter of seconds for the nanites could in some cases record the electrical activity of the brains of living creatures and thus create a shadow version of the orc’s mind for her to access. Again she praised her creator for his ingenious mind, if more like her had been made and released the Talgmarians would have been defeated within the span of a few months.  
She believed that that was the reason he had been removed from his position, too many had feared what he could create, the balance of power would have been seriously disturbed and there would have been no way of knowing if an army of CK units could have been controlled. Besides, many made a lot of credits because of the war and they didn’t want their income to decrease. Sometimes a war is not a war but a money machine and she loathed the idea. Her creator had given her a strong sense of moral, of wrong and right and rightly so, a thing like her without a moral compass would be a destroyer of worlds.   
She lowered her blades and took a look around, the few surviving orcs were fleeing like mad and the elves were left, victorious. Some cheers were heard but most were simply too shocked by the sheer amount of enemies and their appearance to think of the fact that they had won. Most were in fact in shock and she saw that a few gathered their sensed and started searching the battle field for wounded or dead comrades. CeKay shifted mode, from combat to triage. She started shouting orders and tents were erected where the wounded could be tended to. The healers gathered but she knew that their knowledge and techniques, although very good, were no way adequate for a job like this. Some warriors started dragging away dead orcs, forming a huge pile in a gorge not far from them, others took care of the horses and a few had to be put down due to injury but most were unharmed.   
It was a bloody mess, CeKay had never seen the likes of it, nor did she have information of a similar event in her archives. These weapons left horrible wounds, not clean or cauterized like the ones she was used to. She saw crushed limbs, torn and battered tissue and internal injuries and yet again her nanites went to work, knitting torn organs back together, mending broken bones. But she couldn’t save all, blood which was lost could not be recreated, even by her skills, and an injured brain was too fragile and complex of a thing to be fixed. She had her limits and she cursed them now. But she did work without rest, without asking questions and the number of dead elves was high but not overly so. Many were wounded but most of them would live and recover too. She needed to get them south, to more fertile lands where they could find food and shelter. She was in the process of healing a warrior with a broken jaw and a torn shoulder when the king entered the tent, his eyes were blurry and he had been crying. She knew it the very instant she saw him that he had lost someone close to him, his very being just screamed of loss. She lowered her head. “I am so sorry my lord”   
He let out a small sob. “You saved us, without your help we would have been slaughtered, he was…he was too reckless, tried to take down a huge orc on his own”   
She felt a surge of feelings, knew them to be grief. “Which one?”   
He wiped his eyes. “Argon, oh Eru, what would I not have given to have him back!”  
CeKay closed her eyes, she knew of those who had tried to bring back the dead, using nanite technology. The body had been alive, but something had been missing from those people, all they were reduces to were bags of flesh, screaming and writhing with no spark inside. A soul which have left will never return and she did yet again wonder at the mystery that was this enigmatic sort of energy, so vital to life and yet unexplainable. She bowed her head again. “My condolences my lord”   
He swallowed hard. “We will stay here for a couple of days, no more. The wounded need to recover and we have to burn our dead. I fear the orcs may return”   
She got up, the wounded soldier was gasping, his injuries gone as if they never had been there. “They will not, not like this. They know you can fight now”   
Fingolfin cocked his head, staring at her with narrow eyes. “Some survived, they will tell their master of this, of the powers you unleashed and his eyes will fall upon you. He will try to seduce you, to track you down and corrupt you like all else he finds useful. And he won’t rest until he has either won you over or destroyed you”   
CeKay felt an odd sense of calm, of determination. She smiled and for a second her teeth changed into those of a huge carnivore. “Let him try, let him taste fear.”   
Fingolfin frowned. “ You ought to be worried, he is powerful, are you not afraid?”   
She tossed her hair back and the glow in the unnaturally blue eyes got stronger. “No, I was never born to feel fear”   
She returned to her work and in spite of his grief the elf suddenly knew that with her by their side they had a chance, it may be small or fleeting but real and maia or not, she was a match even for Morgoth himself, he could just wonder what would happen if she went up against the dark vala, something told him that would be a spectacle of epic proportion but would it ever happen? He hoped not, for he had learned that his people were safer with her than without her, and he wanted to keep it that way, for as long as possible.


	4. Shadows and flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The host of Fingolfin finally catches up with those who sailed but things are not well and CeKay discover that her powers are limited, there are stronger forces at play than what anybody could have guessed.

Chapter four : Shadows and flame…

CeKay was worried, in fact she was very worried. She had never thought that these elves would be that block headed but they were, they wanted to attack the attacker! She had seen the sheer brute force of these monsters and knew that they were ruled by someone or something rather with huge powers and they weren’t that many. She was afraid that this was folly, that it would end with their destruction but she also knew that the leader had made up his mind. Some scouts had captured some orcs and they had been interrogated and even though they had been tortured they hadn’t revealed much, except the fact that the fortress of their enemy lay to the north and east from where they were right now and that this area was known as Lammoth. Their master had returned from his captivity recently and had made landfall just there and the elves had tried to get an overview of the area. The elves were preparing to spread out, to control areas which they could use to produce food or make weapons and that was well and good enough but she didn’t like that they were about to split the group. She did understand that the different individuals wanted their own realms to rule but they were stronger together than they would be if they did follow their desire to find land for themselves. 

It was far from ideal, further south it was more vegetation and way more wildlife and she tried to make them consider moving southward but they didn’t listen. She realized that the need for vengeance was so strong it did make them forget about what she would consider common sense. She had two choices, remaining passive and letting them ruin themselves or participate and perhaps help them achieve their goals. She chose the latter and started to prepare for war. It wasn’t something she was unfamiliar with, her programming was good and she was after all made as a soldier. She tried to teach these beings certain tactics and she studied the orcs they killed or captured, but she started to discover something which made her more and more nervous. Something was wrong, with her. She ran all the diagnostics checks she had, tried to reprogram herself and she even deleted some files she didn’t need but the problem remained. She could no longer control her reactions when things happened, she would see strange images when she went into rest mode and some of her choices no longer followed the laws of logic at all. 

She sought her own company for some days, tried to understand this and she slowly realized that she was developing some rouge programs, like Deetoo had. It made her rather frantic and she tried to reorganize her positronic brain but it didn’t matter, the odd behavior continued and she had to admit that she no longer was in complete control of herself. She had developed feelings, true feelings and they made her vulnerable. An android shouldn’t be able to have feelings, they ought to be pure logic but that was no longer the case for her. It confused her but she wondered if her survival programs did this. Without feelings there is no sense of self preservation and thus she would become even more vulnerable. So maybe it was a good thing after all, she even wondered if she was developing what the organic beings called a soul.   
The landscape was beautiful enough and they did find food and shelter and built simple cabins but she always feared that the enemy would attack soon.

She wanted them to strike immediately to catch him off guard but Fingolfin didn’t listen to that, he felt that they needed to rebuild their strength and then attack. Fleeing south would be cowardly and he wanted the enemy to know they were there. CeKay knew that this could spell trouble and she tried to understand their determination. Then one day scouts returned telling of other elves near a lake and some of them seemed to be noldor too. Fingolfin and his sons immediately prepared to ride out and meet them, it could hardly be anyone else than his brother’s host and CeKay did see that this did make them all rather nervous. She chose to follow them and got a horse so she could ride, she had a feeling that she would need to monitor this meeting. 

The group left early in the morning after a very swift breakfast and the weather was grey and foggy as it usually was in this area. CeKay did see how tense Fingolfin was, how he fought both rage and fear and how he also longed to see his kin once more, even if he had been abandoned and betrayed. They rode rather hard and CeKay was allowed to ride among Fingolfin’s nearest and most trusted friends. She felt a bit honored by this show of trust but she knew that he had some hidden motifs. If the other elves turned hostile she could protect him. 

They met the first of the other group on a hill near the lake, it was a small group of warriors and they had probably known that the group was coming for they were obviously waiting. Fingolfin stopped his horse and stared at them, they wore armor and were heavily armed but the signs they were wearing were not his brother’s. He dismounted and the warriors did bow their heads as a sign of respect but that was all they did, none did move and they did look a bit as if they were in distress. Fingolfin had removed his helmet and he did see that they recognized him. He held his chin high, refused to let his emotions get the best of him. “You know who I am, who is your master?” 

The warriors looked as if they had problems finding the words. “Our master is the high king of the noldor, Canafinwë Fëanorion” 

CeKay did see that Fingolfin froze. “ Maglor?! But, my brother?” 

The leader of the warriors bowed his head. “He died in the first battle, when we arrived here. He was slain by balrogs. Maedhros took the title and Morgoth wanted to parley and invited him to a meeting. He was betrayed and captured. Now his brother is our leader and king.” 

The warrior looked as if he was ready to see if Fingolfin wanted to challenge Maglor’s right to the title but Fingolfin just blinked, too stunned to really react. CeKay did see that Fingon had gotten completely pale and his eyes were enormous. “Have they made no attempt at finding him? Have his own brother’s abandoned him?” 

The warrior made a grimace. “We cannot risk the lives of many to save just one, it is just the way it is. We don’t like it, but Maglor has ordered that nobody tries to rescue him. We cannot risk that Morgoth is provoked into a new attack. We are not strong enough to fight an all-out war, not yet” 

Fingolfin managed to pull himself together, CeKay could see the disappointment in his eyes but also his grief and she knew that he had loved his half brother and even admired him, in spite of everything. “Then take us to the king, I wish to lay eyes on my kin once more.”   
The warriors gathered around them and Fingon tilted his head. “Have you met any elves living in these lands or have Morgoth eradicated all of those who refused to take the great journey?” 

The leader of the warriors looked at him, he appeared to be almost puzzled. “There are many groups of elves who remain here, we have interacted with some of them. The Sindar is the strongest and then we have many less civilized tribes, spread far and wide. Morgoth is an enemy to all so they have been fighting his forces for all these years.”

CeKay listened to the conversation and stored everything that was said, so there were more primitive tribes out there? And they knew these lands better than the group she followed, it had to be taken into consideration. The leader continued. “We have split up into groups, following the sons of our king, claiming land and trying to make a home for ourselves.” 

Fingolfin bowed his head. “ We will of course respect your borders, and try not to settle on land already claimed” 

The leader just grunted. “The orcs are everywhere, you cannot be safe unless you build strong walls. We are working on fortresses but we have made camp by the lake for now. Follow me” 

The soldiers started walking and the group took their horses by the reins and walked, not to look too haughty. CeKay did see that these other elves were a bit shocked by the fact that Fingolfin was there, but they had known that the elves following him had entered this land. She realized that they probably had scouts too, and they were better at this than the elves from Aman. They had to be locals, able to go undetected. They walked for a while and the lake appeared in front of them. It was a huge camp there, tents, simple corrals with horses in them, cooking pits, dogs scurrying around and some elves had gathered outside of the camp itself and they did look different from the ones CeKay had become used to. They wore leather and simple fabrics dyed in natural colors, their weapons did look rather crude and yet efficient and they had painted themselves and decorated their bodies with what had to be tattoos. Even their jewelry spoke of an entirely different culture and they had a sort of vivid energy to them CeKay found very fascinating. 

The language she heard was new to her, and she saw that there indeed were several different tribes present. Some of the elves there were very tall and mostly blonde but not as blonde as those who were of Finarfin’s blood. They had more of a silver color to their hair and bright blue or green eyes, and they moved with a sort of arrogant elegance. Their clothing was more elaborate and they did remind her more of the Noldor than the other tribes, they had some of the same high culture for sure. The other tribes were darker of hair and eyes, not as tall and they were obviously not used to huge gatherings of elves. They seemed more wild and reckless and the small groups appeared to be controlled by one individual each. She did see both females and males among them and everybody carried weapons. So these people seemed to regard females too as capable warriors. 

The noldor present became aware of the small group which approached the camp and some gathered, she saw that they were curious and others were not that friendly, she sensed it. It was obvious in their eyes and the way they acted and she felt a quick surge of something akin to anger. Turgon walked close to her, he held his eyes down and whispered. “Some of Fêanor’s people shared his insane ideas, that my father was out to usurp him, and that everybody of our house and Finarfin’s were after the throne, and his father’s approval and love.” 

CeKay tried to understand the situation, she tilted her head. “ I see, the struggle for power can be nasty yes?”

Turgon nodded. “Father never wanted to replace him, never wanted to challenge him in any way but Morgoth poisoned his mind and made him suspicious and a little mad I think. He stopped trusting anyone except his sons”

She had learned a lot about human psychology, these elves were quite similar in many ways and she realized that the prince in fact described someone who suffered from severe paranoia. Turgon continued with a sad voice. “If they become violent then do flee my lady, you shouldn’t risk your safety. But Fêanor was the brightest mind of us all, the most inventive one, the one thinking in a whole new manner. Maybe he was too smart after all” 

She knew that the line between genius and insanity sometimes is very thin indeed, perhaps Turgon was right and this Morgoth had seen that Fêanor was balancing on a razors edge and gave him a small push in the wrong direction. “Fear not for me, I can protect myself” 

Turgon nodded. “Yes, but don’t let them fool you in any way, they will probably see you as something they may use for their own benefit, if you let them see your potential” 

She took a deep breath, they were entering the camp and there were elves all around them, she felt a bit trapped but fought the feeling. “So. Who is who of these sons of Fëanor?” 

Turgon kept his voice low. “The high king now is Maglor, he is the second of his sons. He is dark of hair and grey of eyes and a minstrel, gentle of mind and the most mellow of them I think.” 

She looked ahead and saw that some very tall elves stood by an elaborately decorated tent, waiting for them. Turgon swallowed. “Caranthir, beside him Celegorm, he is the blonde one. The third one is Curufin, named after his father. He is the spitting image of Fëanor but nowhere near as smart and a bit unpredictable. Behind him is Celebrimbor, his son”

CeKay saw that a very young male stood behind the rather handsome elf, he looked a bit coltish and couldn’t be fully grown yet, He did look curious and innocent, not hardened like the rest. Turgon made a discreet gesture. “The two redheads by that saddle rack over there are the youngest, Amrod and Amras, we called them the Ambarussa. They are hunters, as are Celegorm.” 

She did see that the two were fully grown, yet their energy was youthful and they wore leather and little metal protection. Ideal for a hunter. The other three stared at the group with narrow eyes and the one called Caranthir had a sneer around his mouth, CeKay didn’t like him, there was something about that one that sort of triggered her protective instincts. Celegorm too felt wrong in a way, there was something fey in his eyes and he reminded her of a feral animal in need of a strong hand to rule and control it. Fingolfin bowed his head, touched his hand to his chest in a respectful greeting and he tried to smile. “I am saddened by the loss of your father”   
Celegorm scoffed. “We are not swayed by pretty words, father called thee useless baggage and you will never be more, nor will those whelps of yours”

Turgon tensed up. CeKay sensed it and put a hand to his back, discretely. He relaxed and Fingolfin didn’t let the words affect him. “ I wish to speak to the high king, or is that forbidden?” 

Caranthir shook his shoulders. “No, it is not. Just go ahead but do show him the right amount of respect” 

There was a threat hidden within those words and CeKay tried to look harmless. She saw that Fingolfin turned around and caught her eyes. “Come with me” 

She nodded and walked up to him and Celegorm stared at her, there was something odd in his eyes. “So little time away from your spouse and you have already taken a new whore? “ 

Fingolfin tensed a few seconds, then he just smiled. “She is a friend, only that” 

Celegorm tilted his head, his eyes seemed glued to her chest and CeKay could smell the pheromones coming from the tall silvery blond male. “Really? She haven’t opened her legs for you? Too bad, she looks like she could need to be tamed” 

CeKay felt a need to scoff but she kept her face neutral, this male was trying to provoke them, to cause a reaction. She wouldn’t give him one. An elf in a sort of uniform opened the tent and they entered. Only Fingolfin and CeKay was allowed inside and they saw that a tall dark haired male sat behind a desk. He looked up as they entered and a look of relief was visible on his face. He got up and nodded, the tent was closed and he walked over and embraced Fingolfin, it was a heartfelt hug and CeKay realized that he was very different from his brothers. “ Uncle, my heart weeps with joy, I feared that you all were lost” 

Fingolfin closed his eyes and hugged the other one back, he looked rather emotional. “Many were lost on the way, too many. But we are here now”

Maglor seemed to struggle with the words. “I am so sorry, father….he burned the ships, he thought he was strong enough to seek his vengeance alone, to reclaim the jewels. He was wrong”

Fingolfin swallowed hard. “Where is he buried? I wish to pay my respects” 

Maglor stared at the ground, he did look very sad. “There is no grave, his body burned to ashes the moment his fëa left it.”

Fingolfin gasped and CeKay did see tears on his cheeks. “ Oh Eru, how did he die?” 

Maglor looked tense, grief stricken. “He got surrounded by balrogs, had charged ahead alone and got separated from the rest of us.” 

Fingolfin was fidgeting with his sleeve. “What is a balrog?” 

Maglor shuddered. “A demon, a huge monster of Morgoth, a burning creature with a burning sword and a whip and they are horrible.”

Fingolfin let out a small whimper and CeKay saw the tears flowing down his cheeks. “We haven’t seen any of those, just…just orcs and trolls” 

Maglor tensed up. “You have fought the enemy already?” 

Fingolfin nodded. “Yes, we were attacked. My son…my son Argon, he fell” 

Maglor closed his eyes. “Oh uncle, I am so sorry, I am so so sorry. He was such a good young ellon”

CeKay sensed that his grief and empathy was real, it wasn’t fake nor false and she wished that she could have saved the young elf but losses were inevitable. Maglor held Fingolfin’s arms in a tight grip. “But you were victorious?” 

Fingolfin nodded and made a grimace. “Yes, we did win, but we did suffer losses and as of now we wish to seek our vengeance, but we need to strengthen our forces and get better weapons. The tribes you have encountered, who are they really? Are they all friendly?” 

Maglor pulled a chair out from underneath the desk and to CeKay’s surprise he didn’t offer it to his uncle but to her, she shook her head. “I can stand, thank you” 

Maglor stared at her and he did look curious but he didn’t ask who she was and he continued. “ Most are, but we have come across some of the avari who refuse to speak to us and just disappear. The Sindar have a great kingdom to the south called Doriath, it is ruled by Elwe, now he calls himself Elu Thingol and he rules with his queen Melian, she is a maia. They have a daughter Luthien and they have been polite but curt. He is afraid we will interfere with his rule, or draw the attention of our enemy towards his realm.” 

Fingolfin looked shocked. “Elwe? He was a friend of grandfather, almost a brother. Surely he won’t be hostile against Finwë’s descendants?” 

Maglor shrugged. “ Oh if he finds out about the kinslaying and the rest of the mess he will be, they say he is very proud and rather controlling and he is powerful too. He has many good warriors. The sindar do rival our skill and surpass them too. My brothers and many others regard these other elves as Moriquendi and inferior to us but I do not. They are tough as old leather and they know the land and the enemy better than us. When they say that Angband cannot be attacked I believe them. “

Fingolfin looked thoughtful. “The iron hill. A menacing name” 

Maglor nodded. “Indeed, and many have been captured and brought there to serve as slaves or worse, few have returned” 

Fingolfin made a grimace. “My son…he took the news of your brother rather hard. “

Maglor sighed. “I expected that yes, I know of …the way they felt. Here such things are accepted, I have seen many same gender couples. Too bad that happiness was stolen from them.” 

Fingolfin looked down. “You have forbidden anyone from looking for him? He is your brother damn it!” 

Maglor nodded and there were shadows in his eyes. “Yes, I have forbidden it. I cannot risk that the enemy gets yet another hostage to play with. Do I regret it? Yes, I lay every night unable to sleep, thinking of my brother’s torment and I pray, I pray and pray that he is dead and his soul safe but the oath binds us and I fear that he is forever lost to us all”

CeKay heard the stress in the king’s voice, the fear and the sorrow and she did pity him. To be a king was to take unpleasant decisions all the time. Decisions which could be painful but had to be made nonetheless. Maglor made a gesture. “My brother’s think that we ought to keep you out of our business, that we ought to chase you off and let the orcs finish you all. They didn’t take the loss of father very well” 

Fingolfin nodded. “I understand, they always followed Fëanor and agreed with him”

Maglor sighed and brushed some hair out of his face, the circlet he was wearing did look very expensive but CeKay could see that it only made him uncomfortable. “I wonder if it is possible for someone to love their parents too much, if some part of them, the best part, did die with father. They have acted like someone possessed since he died, I do not trust them even if I do love them. They have gone…feral” 

Fingolfin nodded. “I saw that, in their eyes. Celegorm in special” 

Maglor nodded slowly. “The ambarussa are not so bad, they are more reasonable, not so mad. The oath rides the rest of us and it rides them hard, gives them no rest, no reprieve. I wish to let it rest but they can’t.” 

Fingolfin looked a bit pale. “The oath will bring ruin upon you all” 

Maglor let out a low sigh. “It already has, we were mad when we swore like our father, caught by that bright flame that was his personality, drawn to it like moths to the flame.” 

Fingolfin closed his eyes. “ We saw the light from the burning ships, it was….devastating” 

Maglor nodded. “Yes, but tell your son…Maedhros did step aside, he didn’t approve of it and he asked to go and fetch Fingon. He was almost ready to defy his father” 

Fingolfin tried to smile. “ I will tell him, he will appreciate this.”

Maglor pointed towards a table in the middle of the tent. “I have a map, it is simple but it shows the lay of the land. Please, do take a look at it.” 

Fingolfin walked over and CeKay stayed by his side, the map was indeed a bit crude but it did show them the land pretty well. There were few details but CeKay did store it in her memory and saw that Maglor had divided it into separate sections. “We have tried to come up with a strategy, to find a way to weaken our enemy. It is tough, he is the master of great armies and he has countless monsters.” 

CeKay stared at the map, the fortress was marked off and the mountains surrounding it was drawn in a peculiar style. “Are those volcanoes?” 

Maglor nodded, he was very curious but his upbringing prevented him from being impolite and asking her who she was. “Yes, they are. The whole area is a desert of ashes and death, nothing lives there.” 

CeKay stared at the drawing, trying to make plans. “Nothing to live off then, nowhere to grow any crops, no game to hunt.” 

Maglor nodded. “The orcs raid far and wide, they have tormented the moriquendi for ages.” 

She tilted her head. “Morgoth was captive in Aman for ages? Who kept his fortress up?” 

Maglor frowned. “His loyal servant, the maia named Mairon, now he is known as Sauron, or Gorthaur” 

CeKay sighed, two enemies to fight instead of one. “A siege is the only way, and yet that will be almost impossible. I saw the enemy’s warriors, they are many and they are ruthless, they fight with no honor nor rules. Neither can you” 

Maglor frowned. “You do know the ways of battle my lady. “ 

She grinned, a thin smile. “ I was made to fight my lord, it is my …sole reason to exist.” 

Maglor did look a bit confused and CeKay didn’t say anything more, she felt that the truth about her was something people should be presented with slowly. He bowed his head. “We too have thought of the same my lady, but we have not yet managed to come up with a useable strategy. We simply lack information and the orcs we have interrogated won’t tell us much, nor will they break under torture and speak.” 

She took a deep breath. “ I already know a lot, but if you could catch someone of importance, say an officer, I could try to get some information out of that being” 

The two elves looked a bit aghast. “We do not like to torture living beings my lady, not even an orc. “ 

CeKay made a grimace. “I know, and believe me, neither do I but sometimes it may be needed. What you need to do is lure him out of his fortress, make him send his forces forth and then destroy them, weaken him and make him doubt himself.”

Maglor raised an eyebrow. “And how do you suppose we manage that? “ 

She grinned, a vicious grin. “By pretending as if you fear no attack, by being sitting ducks in a pond. If he thinks you have your focus somewhere else he will strike, and then you close the trap” 

Maglor was thinking hard. “ It will take time to get ready for such a strategy.” 

She shrugged. “Yes, and in the meanwhile you will suffer many small attacks from the orcs, and you will struggle with the environment, with the building of strongholds and the raising of more horses and growing of crops. It will be tough, but it may work” 

Fingolfin had watched her with narrow eyes. “You are right, if we appear to be weak he will see that his chance has come, how do we hide our true strength?” 

She stared at him, her chin up. “By not hiding it at all, he will be looking for hidden clues and be blind to the things that are obvious. If you are paranoid and controlling you think all others are the same way”

Maglor nodded slowly. “You are right. I will tell the others. “ 

CeKay tilted her head. “Then tell them the strategy was your idea, they will not believe that something a female came up with will work, and absolutely not a female from Fingolfin’s host” 

Maglor sent her a swift and sad grin. “You remind me of mother, very strong but always willing to back down and make herself seem demure and smaller than she really was, not to hinder father. She was the only one who could tame him, too bad she failed in the end.” 

CeKay smiled softly. “I am sorry to hear that. Make many strongholds, spread out but stay in touch, and prepare for the day when you can take back what is yours.” 

Maglor cocked his head, staring at her. “You are wise my lady, and yet, I have no recollection of having seen you in Aman? Are you a vanya? A teler?” 

CeKay shook her head. “No, and I am not of Aman” 

Maglor frowned and Fingolfin hid a smirk, he wasn’t going to say anything unless she did. He pointed at the map. “Do tell me where my people can settle down, and where the enemy has his strongholds” 

Maglor nodded and showed him on the map and Fingolfin made notes of it. The land was good in some ways and in other ways not, it suited the hunters and gatherers but it wasn’t ideal for large settlements and CeKay wished that she had known more about the ecology of this planet. She would have to speak to some of the natives, to hear what they had to tell her. Everything could be of importance, absolutely everything. 

Maglor hugged Fingolfin yet again and bowed his head and they walked out of the tent together, CeKay made sure to walk behind Fingolfin, most probably thought she was a servant, perhaps his personal butler or scribe or something like that. Celegorm and Caranthir still stood where they had when the two entered the tent and Celegorm still stared at her, he even whistled as she walked by but she didn’t even look at him. That elf did make her feel uncomfortable, her programming telling her that he couldn’t be trusted, that he was unpredictable and possibly a bit mad. 

Turgon and Fingon stood by the horses, talking to a noldo wearing some rather nice robes, he appeared to be answering questions and he did look a bit eager. Some sindar elves stood nearby, they were paying close attention to the conversation. Fingolfin shook Maglor’s hand once more and mounted his horse, so did CeKay. She wasn’t used to letting herself being carried by such beasts yet and she had to go through her entire library of files to find information about cultures who still lived in such a pre-technological state. Sadly there was little to be found, the backside of coming from a place where everything relied upon high tech. 

Fingolfin nodded and they rode off and CeKay did see that Maglor stared after them, his face told of melancholy and sorrow and she found that she had liked him. They followed a well used track before they turned towards their own camp and Fingolfin turned in the saddle. “We will move our camp to the north of this lake, they call it lake Mithrim by the way.” 

Fingon rode next to his father now and he was very quiet, his face a bit drawn and his eyes dark. CeKay could almost smell his grief and shock and Fingolfin reached out, touched his knee. “Son, Maedhros didn’t approve of the burning of the ships, he thought his father would send them back for us until the last minute.” 

Fingon sort of whimpered. “He did? Oh why couldn’t it have been one of the others who got caught by the enemy? Why the most noble of them all?” 

CeKay frowned,, so this Maedhros was the best of the lot? Well, at least Fingon thought so and she knew that this emotion called love can twist your perception pretty much but he had to have some qualities. But he had also been horribly naïve to agree upon a meeting with the enemy and she already knew that these elves were very unfamiliar with the very concept of evil. She suspected that the locals were not, and perhaps they were better suited at fighting this war. Fingon continued. “I cannot bare to think of him, being a prisoner, possibly dead. My heart aches for answers father” 

Fingolfin sighed. “I know, but we have to respect Maglor in this. If our groups are to co-operate in any way we cannot make enemies right away.” 

Fingon scoffed. “Enemies? Oh but didn’t you see Caranthir and Curufin? They don’t trust us further than they can toss us father, and Celegorm? He looked as if he was ready to slit some throats, there and then. He ought to be the one suffering in Angband, not Maedhros” 

CeKay had to grin a bit, but she had seen through that handsome blonde elf. He would have cracked under pressure and cracked fast too. He appeared to be very strong and very determined but in truth he was the opposite, he wore a mask the entire time and that made you very vulnerable. She felt the same about the two others, having lost their father meant that they had lost their strength and their reason to be. You could really love your parents too much, she saw that now. Odd this connection mammals made with their offspring. She couldn’t truly understand it. 

They rode hard for a couple of hours and were crossing an open area between some ragged cliffs when CeKay suddenly stopped her horse. She had smelled something on the wind, very faintly but there. A sort of scorched burned scent with a hint of Sulphur in it. Fingolfin stopped his horse too, stared at her. “What is it?” 

She dismounted, put a hand to the exposed bedrock and felt it, a very vague vibration, the sound of many feet moving as one. “Turn back, ride along the ridges and then follow the river back to the camp. There is an army of orcs ahead of us, if you continue you will ride straight into them. We are not many enough to fight” 

The tall ellon licked his lips, looking nervous. “The camp?” 

CeKay concentrated on the rhythm and the sound. “They are moving this way, they won’t attack the camp. “ 

Fingolfin nodded and turned his horse. “You heard her, we ride south again, along the cliffs. Everybody, keep your eyes open.” 

CeKay tossed the reins of her horse to Fingon. “With your permission, I would like to stay and see if I can snatch some information” 

Fingolfin frowned. “ Are you sure about this?”

She nodded. “ I am, worry not, I will be safe” 

Fingolfin tried to smile. “Alright, make sure you are. “ 

She grinned and nodded again, feeling a slight excitement. Finally she got to do something again. They rode off and she remained for a few minutes, then she ran off towards the cliffs and entered her camouflage mode. To her worry she used longer time entering it than usual and she got a bit nervous. Was something wrong? She hid among the boulders and knew that nobody could see her now, she just had to wait. Fortunately she didn’t have to wait for long, she heard rough voices and the sounds of creaking armor and feet against the ground and she could smell them too. A very disgusting scent of rotten meat, sweat and something she couldn’t even identify. 

She felt that her systems got ready, in case of emergency she would be able to fight now. She listened, the language was very guttural and ugly and not very developed and she had to frown. You could hear how primitive these beings were just by listening to them.   
They came into view, a huge group of orcs, armed and ready for fight, among them were some trolls and a few other creatures too, small and lanky and not very pretty at all. These had to be what the elves called goblins. They were scurrying all over the place and didn’t seem to have that much discipline. CeKay had seen something akin to them, on a planet the Talgmarians had ruined, it had been the mutated descendants of the original people inhabiting the place. Then something else came into view, the orcs sort of kept a distance and CeKay just stared. It was massive, at least fifteen feet high and very broad and it moved with a sort of powerful elegance that contradicted the bulkiness of the body. It had a wide head with huge horns and tiny deep eyes and the bodyshape was humanoid although too stocky for any human. 

The really horrible thing was that the creature seemed to be on fire, flames licked along the skin, reached out through cracks in it and seemed to form almost a mane along its head and spine and CeKay knew that this was a balrog. It had to be. It wore a sword and a whip as they had been told and it had to be a horrible opponent. Heat rose from it, made the air shiver and she could feel it, how could it even exist? What sort of creature produced that much heat? Not even she could do that, did it have some sort of thermal reactor too? No, that was impossible. There were no such things in this world and she started to realize that there were a lot of things she yet didn’t know. What the elves called magic was one of those things for sure. It had to be some fort of energy, capable of changing matter and other energies just by the will of the user and she got very curious but also scared. Such powers could never be underestimated, that was for darn sure. She stared at the balrog, it was terrifying but it had to have a weakness of some sorts. It was alive after all, living beings can perish. 

She was so caught up by the balrog she didn’t notice that a goblin came scurrying through the layer of boulders and it almost collided with her. She was camouflaged but the thing stopped and sniffed and she just knew it, the creature would find her. She did smell of horse and leather and she had been close to other smelly substances too and the goblin opened its mouth and shrieked something. The orcs immediately grasped their weapons and CeKay swore to herself. She reached out and grasped the goblin by the throat, crushed its neck with one swift move and she saw only one way out of this mess, and that was to flee between the cliffs, where the balrog stood. The orcs knew something was there, probably an elf and they had arrows ready, she didn’t want them to see her and she didn’t want to reveal her true nature so she stayed in camouflage but crept closer to the opening and the balrog. 

The huge thing was sniffing, its short nose vibrating and it was growling, not very intelligent? Or perhaps she was wrong, there was some sort of intelligence in the burning gaze and she knew it was way stronger than anybody could have guessed. But fire has one opposite and that is cold and she took a deep breath and knew she had one chance at this. She could reverse her thermal reactor, and create immense cold instead of heat. It was dangerous and could harm her but it was the only way out of this trap. She sent forth some nanites to create a distraction and allowed her right arm to transform into a blade, long and slightly curved and then she cooled it down. It was close to absolute zero as she let the nanites pry some rocks lose from the scree. The sound of the falling rocks made all the orcs turn around and then she attacked. 

She was fast, nobody would be able to see more than a few blurred movements even if she hadn’t been in camouflage mode, and her blade pierced through the balrogs skin, penetrated deep into the body and the result was an explosion of steam and smoke. The balrog screamed, a terrible high pitched shriek and fell backwards, clawing at the gaping wound in its chest and CeKay was already on the other side of it, making a new cut along its spine. The balrog spun around and for a few brief seconds a shape was visible in the smoke before it disappeared. The balrog was wounded but not dead, the wounds closing themselves off but it had seen the shape and felt the scent of it and anger simmered within its soul. Whatever this creature was, he wanted vengeance. 

CeKay ran and kept running until she had put several miles between herself and the balrog. She swallowed and rested, feeling oddly frail. The power surging through that being had been mighty, it had been dark and dangerous and very odd and yet she knew it could harm her. This magic, it could be her undoing. It wasn’t like any energy she had ever encountered before and she now knew that she had to come up with some sort of defense against it soon, before they were to encounter anyone capable of wielding this mysterious force for it could probably destroy her, as nothing else could!


	5. The theory of resonance...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CeKay discovers why she is having some problems and she learns what she has to do to overcome it, it will however make the enemy aware of her presence...

Chapter five: The theory of resonance…

 

CeKay ran back to the camp, she didn’t need a horse to cross a great distance in a short time and she reached the tents by nightfall, just a short time after the others did arrive. She slowed down and removed the camouflage, got her normal appearance back but it took her time. Something was most definitely off here, and she had to discover what it was before it was too late. She saw that Fingolfin came to greet her, he did look nervous and she smiled and hid her worries. “You saw them?” 

She nodded. “I fought them, that is more like the truth. There were orcs and goblins and one Balrog.” 

Fingolfin gaped and his eyes were large for a moment. “A balrog? Eru, what was it like?” 

She sat down on a rock, tried to explain the odd creature. “As we were told, huge, bulky and strong and on fire.” 

Fingolfin swallowed. “Can it be harmed? Is it possible to kill one?” 

She hesitated. “It can be harmed yes, but heals almost immediately, and it will probably take more than just an ordinary weapon to kill one. At least one would have to be very fast and not afraid for one’s own life, they are horrible” 

She suspected that the one she had fought hadn’t been a very large one, maybe only a runt compared to the really great ones. It was a dark thought. Fingolfin swallowed hard. “Well, at least we now know that we aren’t to engage them” 

CeKay nodded. “Leave that to me.” 

She got up again, saw that the camp was calm and that everybody were preparing for the night. “I will stay up and keep watch.” 

He just bowed his head and returned to his tent and she walked to the top of a ragged hill nearby where she could see the entire camp. She felt as though she needed to think this through. The orcs were such ghastly creatures and she did strongly doubt that they were natural, there were no reason why a species should evolve like that. And the dark lord was one of these valar, the powerful ones. She wished that she knew exactly what they were, apparently they had a corporeal form but could change it at least to some degree. She had never encountered anything which fitted such a description. Could they be some sort of multi -dimensional creatures? In that case it was no wonder they were powerful. 

She stared up at the skies, there were no clouds this night and the stars were bright. She didn’t recognize even one constellation, they were all new. The ship which brought her here could have crossed entire galaxies for all she knew, even gone through the very barriers of time itself. This could be the far past, or even the opposite, the very future. She sighed, it was a very esthetically pleasing sight, she had been programmed to value beauty after all and the starlight was extremely clear and bright. This world had seen little pollution, that was for sure. She remembered a trip to one of the moons of Chreshdah where the smoke and fumes had turned daytime into night and where you had to use heat sensors to find your way because it was pitch black, even in the middle of the day. That was the downside of a society which got its energy from burning fossil fuels. The moon had once had vast forests of giant trees and over the millennia since their death they had turned into a layer of coal three miles thick which covered the entire moon. 

She stayed where she was, watching the camp, listening to the faint sounds from it. Some were talking softly to each other, some horses neighed, dogs were running around, the guards went their rounds. It was normal, and peaceful and yet she knew that this peace was a mere illusion. They were at war, and the enemy one they didn’t know anything about. She had to talk to the locals, there was no way around it. 

When the sun did rise she got up and went down to the camp again, she found that some were heading south, to seek out the realm which was mentioned and to gather information. Others would go hunting and some would look for a suitable place to settle down permanently. CeKay walked up to Fingolfin and he smiled and put his work aside, he was studying some papers and his son Turgon was beside him. He did look a bit confused and almost lost and CeKay did understand, these elves had come from a very civilized place, a place where you could get whatever you wanted relatively easy. Here everything had to be made there and then and to some that probably caused some problems. 

The tall black haired elf smiled at her. “So, what are your plans for today?” 

CeKay shrugged. “I would very much like to talk to any of the local elves. I bet there are some close by, they are probably keeping an eye on us even now” 

Fingolfin raised an eyebrow. “Alright, may I ask why you want to talk to them?” 

She smiled. “I need to learn everything they know about that fortress, and its masters. And I need to know what they have done to protect themselves, what they know about the orcs and the other creatures and what this place has been through since your father left this realm”   
Fingolfin sighed. “I cannot order anyone to talk to you, and absolutely not someone not even of my people. But go out there, I bet they will find you, and if they are interested they may talk to you” 

She nodded and smiled, turned around and headed back to the hills. There was a holt of trees not far from where she was at the moment, it wasn’t that large but very dense and the trees were low and crippled by the constant wind. She walked into the holt and sat down upon a vertical log, her hands visible and her feet dangling. She was no threat to anyone, and wanted to show it too. She just sat there, passively and waited. She was pretty sure that the natives had noticed her, and that they were curious. 

Yet she had to sit there for quite a while, she swallowed and watched the stars from underneath the canopy and listened to the faint sounds of the small creatures moving within the bushes and grass. She relaxed but was as alert as ever and after some hours she felt a new scent, it was very faint, very weak but there and she waited. The log she sat on moved and she knew she wasn’t alone anymore, She turned her head slowly, an elf sat next to her, an arms length away, staring at her with very odd eyes. They reflected light and she knew it was an adaptation to the previous lack of sunlight. They could see in the dark like some animals could and it was probably very useful and evolutionary wise. 

She didn’t speak, just waited for him to make the first move. He was rather tall, slender and willowy and yet he had to be very strong, she could sense that. Elves were stronger than most other species she had encountered of a humanoid nature. His hair was long and divided into several intricate braids decorated with elaborate clasps carved from bone. He had some tattoos visible here and there, and his clothes were simple and made from leather but she knew has no barbarian. There was dignity and pride in that golden brown gaze and a great deal of intelligence. He had some feathers and sea shells sewn onto the seams of the leggings he wore and he carried a short bow and a quiver pluss two long knives. They did look lethal and sharp and she knew that he probably was a master at using them. 

He cocked his head. “You are no elf, you are not born of this world at all.” 

She nodded. “You are very observant, I am no elf, you are right.” 

He frowned. “Not of the eldar, and not of the Ainur. But you are an enemy of the dark one, an enigma” 

She nodded again, her face without expression. “Yes, I am CeKay.” 

He smiled swiftly, a very pretty smile with incredibly white teeth. “May a star shine upon this hour of our meeting. I am known as Dair, I am a warrior” 

She tilted her head. “Not only a warrior, I sense more in you” 

He chuckled. “Yes, you are also observant. I am the shaman of our tribe” 

She bowed her neck. “I am honored to meet you” 

He moved a bit, stared at her. “Stardaughter” 

She frowned. “What makes you say that?” 

He smiled. “You have the stars in your eyes, and from them you came yes? “ 

CeKay felt startled, how could he know? “Yes, but how do you know this?” 

He sent her a wry grin. “The spirits of the land, they do not know you. You are of another realm, of another world. You are something new, something different. The dark lord have nothing like you so beware, he will covet thy powers” 

CeKay swallowed, she felt nervous all of a sudden. “ Yes, I bet he will. There are things I need to know” 

He smiled, made a gesture. “Then ask, and I will answer if I can” 

She bit her lower lip. “There is so much that I cannot even decide where to start but alright, the orcs, what are they?” 

Dair took a deep breath. “When the elves first awakened it was to the east, near a huge sea which most left over the long years. As the first multiplied some were taken by the dark hunter, and they never returned. It was Morgoth and his servants of course, and later Sauron the cruel one. The prisoners were tortured and corrupted and turned into orcs through the dark one’s magic. Now they are creatures of darkness, evil and cruel and they hate everything since their fëar are in such pain” 

CeKay frowned. “In pain?”

Dair nodded. “Yes, a small sliver of who they are still remember what they were supposed to be, and longs for it. And that drives them mad, to see what they could have had and know that it never will be theirs to have again” 

She could understand, if you covet something which is out of reach for you it is natural that the desire turns to hatred after a while. “Are there many orcs?”

He nodded. “Thousands, and they breed like rabbits too. Some of the ones caught by the enemy end up as breeding slaves, forced to couple with each other or even orcs. The dark lord wants to improve his breeding stock, to create better orcs, stronger and more obedient.” 

She stored that information carefully” So they aren’t that loyal to him?” 

He grinned. “Orcs are loyal to their leaders, to their clan chief’s, that is all. And the clan chiefs are too afraid of the trolls and balrogs and Sauron of course to dare to rebel” 

It was useful information, very useful. “Are the orcs smart? How is their intelligence?” 

Dair shook his head. “Some are rather clever, the leaders, some officers. But it is a cruel and twisted intelligence and they have no love for anyone except themselves. I have seen orcs kill their own kin just to devour them, animals are more noble than these creatures”

She took a deep breath, that bad, alright. “The trolls?” 

Dair made a gesture towards the wood surrounding them. “They are the dark lord’s attempt at copying the creatures of Yavanna, the ents. But he has not managed to create anything as strong nor as wise. The trolls are incredibly hard to kill but they are also very stupid and they hate the sunlight” 

He shifted on the log, his eyes distant. “The goblins are something we think were an attempt at copying the Naugrim, the dwarves. But it failed, the goblins are just nasty, not very strong, not very brave and most are more or less insane. They are worse than orcs for they find their strength in numbers. One goblin will flee, a hundred will charge at you. “ 

She smiled. “Thank you for that information. The Balrogs?” 

Dair tilted his head, his expression a stern one. “Fallen maiar, fire maiar. They have chosen to follow Morgoth and have become his, body and soul. They are horrible and yet he has many equally terrible creatures at his command. Werewolves, vampires, monsters yet without a name.” 

CeKay hissed. “He is pretty inventive then, with a lot of dark imagination!” 

Dair grinned, a somewhat sardonic smile. “He is jealous of the maker, and wants to create his own things, greater and more magnificent than those of Eru. But he cannot surpass the one, and that is eating away at him all the time.” 

CeKay could understand this, if everything there, including this Morgoth was created by the one it was no wonder why he couldn’t go beyond what his maker had created of limits. “This Sauron?” 

Dair nodded and fidgeted with his bow. “Originally one of the maiar of Aüle. But Melkor did seduce him, and now he is a loyal servant, doing his very best to please his dark master” 

CeKay made a grimace, even the best can become corrupted, if the corruption is right that is. She tilted her head to the side, saw that the starlight barely reached the forest floor and yet Dair saw her. “The fortress?” 

The avarin elf sighed, “A monstrosity, I know the high elves wishes to attack but it is folly. It is too heavily guarded and impenetrable. A siege could be possible but it comes at a high price. Many will die, and the slaves of that place first of all. They will kill and eat them before they are willing to starve” 

CeKay hissed. “No weaknesses? Have anyone ever escaped?” 

Dair nodded slowly. “Some have managed to get away yes, but they never recover fully. Even if their hroar are healed their fëar never will. They often perish, some go insane, others…we put out of their misery” 

CeKay swallowed, she realized that this was something of which he preferred not to speak so she changed the subject. “The weapons? Do they have good weapons or are they just…primitive?” 

He pulled one of his knives out of the sheath. “See this? It is lovely, well forged and shaped, made from good steel. In Angband it is all about quantity, not quality. If an orc dies because of a faulty armor who cares? There are hundreds new to take its place. If a blade can cut through flesh it doesn’t need to be pretty, nor well forged. It just need to do its job for a while.” 

CeKay got a vision of a factory, where heat and steam made the air shimmer and where hot rock and lava was used to melt metals and countless slaves were whipped forth in endless suffering and toil. She sighed. “I see, that is frightening” 

Dair nodded slowly. “Survivors have told us much about the place, enough really to tell us that it is hopeless to bring it down. The valar themselves would have problems doing that.” 

CeKay imagined a thermal bomb, or a photon torpedo. It would have turned the entire region into smithereens, not to mention some of the more primitive nuclear weapons. The area would have been vaporized. “Where I am from…there were weapons strong enough to destroy even the greatest of fortresses, even the greatest of foes. There were weapons which could destroy worlds” 

Dair sighed. “Then may Eru forbid that such deviltry ever is created here” 

CeKay just nodded. “Yes, they only bring misery and death and in war only death is the winner.” 

Dair smiled, he was rather handsome, even for an elf and she could sense that he had a lot of power among his people. He was one they would listen to. “Those words are true” 

She took a deep breath. “So how do you defend yourselves? Have you any good tactics?” 

He grinned. “Oh yes, we use traps, they are too stupid to avoid them, and we have the trees and the woods themselves protecting us. Yet many are lost each year, and our grief and sorrow is great” 

She felt sorry on his behalf. “I pray that this may change. That the dark ones will be vanquished.” 

Dair nodded but his eyes were distant. “So do we, but it is hard to imagine that this will be accomplished. The valar themselves cannot foresee the future, only that there will be an end, and that Eru then will remake the world in all its splendor, without the marring.” 

CeKay felt a surge of renewed curiosity. “The magic of this world, how does it work? What sort of power is it really?”

He frowned, stared at her with narrow eyes. “That is a tough question to answer my friend, I guess…it just is? It is everywhere, and I guess it springs from the mind of the one. I cannot explain it really” 

She took a deep breath, she had to get to the bottom of it, somehow. She was pretty sure that this magic was the reason why she was experiencing such odd symptoms. “I need to understand, it is important” 

He made a grimace. “You are different, your…energy doesn’t match anything I have felt before. Maybe you are looking at it the wrong way?” 

She frowned, felt a bit uncertain all of a sudden. “What do you mean?” 

Dair shrugged. “Magic has to be accepted to be understood, and whence understood it needs to be embraced. There is no way around that. Do you understand your own powers? If not you cannot understand the magic of this realm, only through enlightenment of the fëa can the magic be controlled.” 

CeKay didn’t really understand what he was saying but she did realize that he was right, she had to explore her own abilities and maybe then she would understand what made this strange power interact with her own in such an odd manner. She bowed her head. “I thank you, you have showed me the way” 

Dair chuckled. “I hope so. When I first saw you among the host of the tall one I knew you were special, I knew you would change things” 

She sent him a swift grin. “Yes, That is so. At least I wish to try. Give me your blades” 

He frowned but obeyed, pulled both blades and she put her hands on them, let some of her nanites free and reprogrammed them. They attached to the blades, became part of them immediately. A small spark of light could be seen as it happened and his eyes got wider. She smiled. “From now on they will stay sharp whatever you do with them, they will never need a wetstone again” 

He looked a bit overwhelmed. “I…Thank you!” 

She got up. “I know what I must do now, and I will get to it immediately” 

He smiled. “Then I wish you luck my lady, and may your hand and voice be blessed by the one” 

She gave his hand a swift squeeze, it was hard and warm and told of strength. “Watch out for yourself Dair, keep your tribe safe” 

He smiled, a very charming smile. “I will. A shame you are not of us, for a female like you would be the pride of any ellon” 

CeKay had to blush, she had no idea of where that response came from but she didn’t try to suppress it. He bowed his head once again and disappeared among the shadows and she went through her elvish vocabulary and realized that his name did mean shadow. It suited him like a glove. 

She went ahead until she found a clearing, she sat down and focused inwards, like she had before but now she actively sought energypatterns which didn’t match her own. She went deep, deeper than ever before, deeper than her basic programming, into the very energy and matter which made up her physical being. It was time consuming and hard but she reached the atomic level and still she went deeper, her consciousness sheer energy, not limited by the confinements of matter. She expanded her awareness while still being on the sub atomic level and there she felt it, a dissonance, like someone having tuned an instrument with one string out of tune with the others. She took a deep breath mentally, followed the dissonance and it came from everywhere around her. Everything was in tune except her, she was the faulty string and now she did realize what the problem was. 

She pulled back, regained her full conscience and shook herself a few times. The ship had crossed a border indeed, this wasn’t even her original universe. This matter came from another creation than hers, from another energy. She was out of tune with this universe, and slowly that caused her to deteriorate. She had to tune herself, find the same frequency as the rest of this realm to stay strong. Of course the magic of this place would cause her harm, it had another vibration than her own energy and she did remember the physics lessons she had stored. The theory of strings, how everything was connected and how the vibrations of the strings made the universe sing in unison. She wasn’t part of the song of creation, thus she wouldn’t fit in, no matter what! The one creating this place did know a lot about quantum physics, that was for darn sure. Creation through sound, forging energy into solid matter with the frequencies and vibrations of song, oh it was elegant. It was so tantalizingly different and yet she did understand it. 

She was thinking hard, forcing her own matter to swing at a new frequency would be tough, it required a lot of power, in fact it would require more power than she had available, even with her reactor going on full power. She would have to get power from somewhere else and slowly an idea formed in her head. What she was trying to do was in fact transmutation, the change of one element into another and it was something which could have disastrous side effects if anything went wrong. Her brain worked fast, going through alternatives but she found none suitable. There was only one way to do this, she had to drain some of those creatures of its energy, to feed her own and transform it. 

CeKay closed her eyes for a moment, they were glowing slightly and she took a look around. She would have to seek out the enemy’s territory, go behind his lines and then…she would kill some balrogs and feed from them! 

She returned to the camp feeling oddly excited, she liked a challenge and those burning beasts were just that, a suitable challenge indeed. It would be morning soon and she couldn’t afford to wait, she had to take action right away. The elves were worth fighting for and she was curious too, she wanted to see how she could fare when she tuned in to this world and its energies. Would it make her vulnerable? Maybe, but there was little choice. She felt how the excitement grew within her and she sat down to rest a bit before she took off. 

She waited until the sunlight reached the hills around them, then she left the tent and saw that Fingon was outside, he was staring in the direction of the enemy’s land and she felt his anger and sorrow as something physical. He turned his head when he heard her. “Where are you going?” 

His voice was hard and it didn’t have the normal musical quality to it. “ I am going to find something, something important”

He frowned. “I have the same thought, but I doubt that my search will be a successful one.” 

She tilted her head. “And yet you wish to go, even if it may cause your demise?”

He nodded, eyes distant and face grim. “Yes, I owe it to him damn it, I cannot…I cannot abandon him, not now, not ever” 

CeKay smiled. “There is strong love between you, I feel you will find him again” 

Fingon took a deep breath, the shadows within his gaze did for a moment lift. “You do? Then I will go, feeling hope!” 

She smiled and gave him a swift hug. “But do wait until I return, please. I don’t know what will happen but it may be…very dangerous” 

Fingon did look worried. “Do return to us CeKay, my father…he has faith in you. You gave him hope, and saved Elenwë, and countless others. We do need you” 

She nodded. “Yes, and that is exactly why I have to go. To rescue myself, this world…I cannot explain it to you, but…it harms me, and I have to stop that from happening. I will be back, I swear” 

He did grasp her hand. “Then go, and return swiftly, for we are like an open flame without you, unprotected. “

She felt a bit odd, it was nice to be appreciated but it did also make her feel somewhat nervous. She freed herself gently. “Tell you father I will be back soon. Keep your guards alert, take no chances.” 

He nodded and she ran off, heading east first and then north, her heart beating hard with the thrill of it. Now she was chasing the dark ones and she went into camouflage mode yet again, felt that it drained her more than it should. This would have to be changed, and swiftly.   
She ran for hours, until she reached the area where the land itself seemed to groan and moan under the weight of the darkness holding it hostage. The skies were grey, the ground barren and burned and ashes and sooth lay in thick layers. It could be the result of a volcanic eruption and yet it wasn’t a normal one. This was malicious, done with evil intent. Nature is never set upon destruction, even through destructive events it does create new opportunities for life, new places for life to inhabit. This land couldn’t harbor life, not any kind of life. She roamed along its border for some more hours and she felt the fortress in her mind, like a terrible weight, a dark looming shadow ever present to the north. It felt just wrong, it was not nature but something just…revolting. 

She found the first group of orcs just before sunset, there were no balrogs among them so she just ran by, didn’t stop to kill any for it was of no use. She wanted power, and orcs had little of that. She found what she was seeking when the moon had risen towards the skies, a camp with orcs and some balrogs. She saw that these were larger than the one she had encountered before, good. She circled the camp, the balrogs were gathered in a small group of their own, chatting in an odd language which she didn’t recognize. They didn’t notice her and she had to act swiftly. There was no way she could lure one of these beings away from the others, she had to take them down all three at once. 

She released some nanites and they spread through the air, aiming for the balrogs. They entered through the creatures mouth and nose and found the central nervous system pretty fast. There they attached themselves and sent out a burst of energy. The three huge bulky beasts froze, caught in a sort of epileptic seizure and CeKay ran forth, extended her energy and focused it. She pierced through the aura of these beings and felt their own life force as a pulsing heavy rhythm. She pulled it in, forced it to join with the power of her reactor, fed it to it, and at the same time she started to change her very molecules. The quarks and other sub atomic particles of her material body started to change their vibration, got more in tune with the vibration natural to this realm and she gasped. The power she suddenly received from the balrogs was overwhelming, it was almost too much. And it felt good, it felt so good, like nothing she had ever felt before. 

She jammed more and more of that power into her own core, took it all, greedily and desperately. She had to be done and be gone fast, before anyone saw this. At last she couldn’t get any more energy from the three creatures and released her hold of them with a shiver. They collapsed onto the ground, and as they did they changed, now they looked almost elflike, pretty but larger than an elf and with odd patterns covering their skin. They were not dead but unconscious and she checked her systems. They were fully operational, and she felt better, a heck of a lot better. She grinned, she felt the song now, like a distant hum you barely can sense and she was in harmony with it. She was a part of this world now, it would no longer mess with her programs but she guessed that some damage already had been done. Her odd behavior wouldn’t change and if she had developed a soul, well, then be it. 

She knew that many would claim that the things she had done was impossible but she had realized that there was much not yet known, even to the very wisest of beings. She remembered the conversations her maker had had with his friends, about the nature of the universe and how the very large and the very little was intimately connected, through one theory which united the world of the grand and the world of the tiny. She had just proved that things indeed was connected, she wished that her master could have seen this. 

She ran off, feeling oddly satisfied but also a bit scared by her own reaction. If it felt that rewarding feeding off these beings she had to be careful not to be tempted into going too far. She couldn’t afford that, not at all. The line between doing things for the sake of good and doing things for the sake of your own good is thin, and if she lost her grip on right or wrong she could become something just as menacing as those dark beings. She ran fast, using the cover of night and before long she returned to the camp. She felt the change within herself as something joyous, now she sensed this world way better than before. She could feel the trees, the flowers, feel the steady rhythm of the very earth itself under her and the slow breath that was the movement of air above her. It was wonderful, simply breathtaking and now she did also understand the magic, the power which flowed through the very creation, corrupted and twisted by the darkness and cherished and held pure by the elves and the land itself. It was the very lifeforce of this Arda and she would do whatever she could to protect it. 

Fingolfin was sitting outside of his tent when she came running, he lifted his head. “My son said you were away, did you find whatever you were after?” 

She nodded, her eyes did shine. “ I did, but prepare yourselves for I think I may have ticked off the dark lords, unfortunately it was needed”

Fingolfin looked baffled. “Very well, I trust you had your reasons” 

She nodded. “Yes, I am stronger now, can do more. At least I hope so.” 

She saw that the guards were heavily armed and took a sigh of relief, if there was an attack to come they would be ready for it, no doubt. 

She returned to her tent to rest and let her systems upgrade themselves while she tried to make sense of the information she had received. It had to be a way to make use of it. 

 

While CeKay was resting a few orcs rode hard across the plains towards the towering entrance to Angband, the orcs were terrified and yet they couldn’t do anything except obeying their leader. The wargs they rode snarled and hesitated as they approached the gate, even the beasts did fear the dark atmosphere of this hell hole but the riders pushed them forth mercilessly. Trolls stood guard by the gates and the orcs dismounted and were let in under doubt. They sort of scurried along, through the reception area which was undoubtedly grand but very sinister and into numerous corridors. Everywhere there were orcs and skinny bruised slaves with their heads shaved and their eyes empty. Werewolves and huge beasts of unknown origin wandered about and the orcs tried to draw as little attention to themselves as possible as they ran toward the throne hall. They were close to pissing themselves but they didn’t stop, they were allowed through the doors and before them lay the throne room of Morgoth. It was humongous, so large clouds formed underneath the roof and it was black, pitch black. Only lamps and carefully placed lava falls did light the room and the effect was sinister to say the least. Upon a dais lighted by a pond of floating lava sat Morgoth, and he had his lieutenant by his side. Sauron was fair to watch but the orcs knew that he was no less wicked than his master, in fact he had some new ideas of how to torture others which made the orcs cringe just thinking of them. 

The two did notice the orcs and Morgoth tilted his head. He too was beautiful, but it was a terrible beauty, hard and sharp and cold. “You carry a message, speak” 

The voice boomed through the hall and the orcs winced, wetting their lips, fear in their eyes. “Yes master” 

One did step forth, brave enough to stand out in the crowd. “Something…something has happened oh great one. Something strange” 

Morgoth stared at Sauron who shrugged. He had no idea of what that may be. “Explain” 

The orc stared at the floor. “One of your balrogs sire, the one who calls himself Durzhuk, he was attacked by something invisible. It injured him with terrible cold sire” 

Morgoth leaned forth. “Cold? “ 

The orc nodded, its feet scraping against the floor, he was trembling like a leaf in the presence of the dark masters. “Yes, he did heal, and whatever it was killed a goblin too. We think it was some kind of unknown enemy” 

Morgoth frowned. “An unknown enemy, injuring a balrog?” 

The orc almost sobbed with fear. “And it has struck again my master, three balrogs, all drained of power, returned to…to ordinary maiar.” 

Morgoth got up and Sauron gasped, the golden eyes wide open. “Impossible, how can anyone take the energy from a maia? It is what they are, energy?!” 

The orc hiccupped, taking some steps backwards. “I do not know oh mighty one, but they have no powers left, no fire. They are just a hroa now, sure they can fight but they cannot take the balrog form again.” 

Sauron breached the orc’s mind, violently. He saw what the orc had seen and the poor creature stood there shaking as if in a seizure. He dropped it and the orc fell to the ground, groaning and probably dying from the brutal intrusion. “He speaks the truth sire, they are reduced to just their resting form.” 

Morgoth hissed, a creature capable of ruining his most feared creations? That would have to be explored and possibly exploited. Most of all, he needed to know what it was, and who it was who stood behind it. “It must be Manwë, or maybe the whole lot of them” 

Sauron cringed. “Let us not be hasty here, do not make conclusions too early. We need to know for sure before we decide that it is your brother’s doing” 

Morgoth was fuming with rage and the three silmarills on his crown shone like tiny suns. “Who else has that sort of power? No, this is a trick of his, I am sure” 

Sauron didn’t mention Eru himself, he kept his mouth shut, knowing that Morgoth was ready to explode. The dark lord waved at two orcs standing by the door. “Get me the two hunters, I need them, now!” 

The orcs nodded and left and Sauron felt a shiver run down his spine, the hunters, now there you had some sinister beings for sure. Morgoth grinned. “Whatever it is, it will not last long before it is either on our hands, or dead”


	6. The mouse which was a dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CeKay is trying to gather more information and she discover that she has powerful and hidden allies.

Chapter six: The mouse which was a dragon. 

CeKay did feel how her systems did recover, how her entire being changed. It made her feel almost giddy and it was an odd sensation for a synthetic being. She was healing and her understanding of this world did expand quite a lot. She could feel it, in a whole new way and she felt the enemy too, like an invisible and yet terrible weight bearing down upon creation itself. If she only had understood what these valar truly were she could discover the weaknesses Morgoth had to own. The camp was quiet and she found her tent and alerted one of the guards of her return, she needed to think and rest. Fingon did drop in, obviously curious. “Did you manage to do what you left for?”

CeKay nodded. “Yes, I am restored. Now I just need to understand what that truly means to me” 

She knew that he was about to leave and some part of her wanted to accompany him but she felt that it would be unwise. He was stealthier alone and after what she had done she was pretty sure there would be retaliations. She spent some hours recharging and checking through her systems and she was pleased to find that they all were working perfectly. The daylight was always dim in this area, it was so foggy and moist and not at all very pleasant but compared with the ice it was a paradise. She had noticed that the horses were getting stronger and the elves too did recover very well. But the question was still relevant, had it all been in vain? She doubted that the elves could withstand the brute strength of the enemy, he had too many horrors ready to be unleashed upon them. 

Could she aid them by creating new and better weapons? It was of course a possibility but she had a feeling of hesitation. She did remember cases from her history files which could make the blood freeze in the veins of the biologicals. The failed colonization of Furthy five was a prime example of this, there had been two types of intelligent beings on that planet when the Shashrian empire decided to add the planet to their long list of trading partners. The first race was very peaceful and extremely skilled at creating beautiful and very valuable things made from a local type of wood which was hard as rock and extremely durable. The problem was that they were constantly harassed by the other species which was war like and aggressive and they showed no understanding nor remorse when it came to plundering and killing. The empire had given the peaceful race pulse rifles with which to defend themselves and within the span of a few years they had wiped out their more aggressive neighbours. It had been a genocide of epic proportions and a once peaceful race dedicated to beauty became some of the worst monsters of that quadrant. No, weapons was no option after all, it could change everything and not necessarily in a desired direction. 

But there had to be something she could do? Being a sentinel was of course possible, a scout who spied on the enemy and gave a heads up warning when the orcs or the other minions of the enemy was on the move. But would that really matter? She had no idea, she needed more information. She realized that she yet again needed to speak to the inhabitants of this realm but preferably someone with a different view of the enemy than the so called avarin elves. The sindar elves seemed rather advanced and they could have useful knowledge, she just had to seek them out but would they trust her? She didn’t trust the sons of Fëanor, or at least not most of them. She had no idea of whether or not she would have trusted the one captured but maybe Fingon would be able to rescue him after all. 

Fingolfin was again studying maps and she bowed her head respectfully as she entered the tent. He made a grimace and gestured toward the maps. “Look, it is actually possible to lay siege to the fortress but the price will be a heavy one and we are too few and too scattered to do any real damage I fear. The enemy will just sit there like a fat rat waiting until we get tired and sloppy.” 

CeKay nodded. “Maybe, to unite you all is the only option if that is to happen, I do not know how that can be done though” 

Fingolfin sighed and wiped his brow. “It all boils down to politics and to hell with it all, I was sick and tired of politics back in Aman and now I am faced with the same problems. It makes me despair within, yet I have to play this idiots game of absolute nonsense.” 

CeKay had to grin, this place was no different than the planets she had visited before, the moment you introduced politicians and political agendas into the mix things usually went south pretty fast. “I am sorry to hear that my lord, I guess it is one of the downsides of being in charge of people” 

Fingolfin sighed and made a new grimace. “I wish my brother was alive, I knew him damn it, I knew how to deal with him. But his sons? And his followers? I am out of ideas really.” 

CeKay nodded. “I need more information, I thought about visiting the sindar elves to hear if they have useful knowledge.” 

The tall noldo turned his head and there was a sort of shadow in his eyes. “Then be careful, do not reveal too much about us, nor about yourself. I guess the sindar are a noble tribe but they have contact with my brother’s group and that means that they cannot be completely trusted. Some of the noldor in that fraction are very good at manipulation, even lies” 

CeKay bowed her head. “Thank you for the warning.” 

Fingolfin gave her a strict glance. “When you were out there, were you seen?” 

CeKay grimaced, she didn’t want him to know the details of her trip. “No, but I do fear that the enemy now knows that there is something out here” 

Fingolfin touched the maps gently. “Then take extra care, if Morgoth has set his eyes on you there is no place you can be safe.” 

CeKay sighed. “I know, but that was the price I had to pay for fixing a problem I had.” 

The noldo nodded. “I cannot even hope to understand what or who you are, for I sense that the words you gave us regarding yourself is a cover up. But it is none of my business. Like I said, go out there and find your answers but do take care, trust nobody” 

CeKay smiled. “I will remember that” 

Fingolfin stared at her, he made a vague gesture. “The avarin elves I have spoken to have told me that the enemy has eyes everywhere, he uses many foul beasts as his servants and his orcs ride horrible wargs, and they are fast. You will have to ride hard if you get detected” 

She frowned, of course, she could go into camouflage mode but if she had been seen that would just confirm her nature. She had to be able to mingle with the elves for as long as possible, to be mistaken for one of them until it was too late for the attacker to escape. So the wargs were fast? She got an idea. “Then I will not risk the life of a good horse, I can create one on my own.” 

The elf just gaped and CeKay giggled and turned around, left the tent. The horses the noldor had brought were good beasts, loyal and brave and very fast too but she needed something different, something which was a weapon as much as a means of transportation. She walked out of the camp, found a secluded spot by the river and focused. She released a swarm of nanites and programmed them for a specific task, they copied themselves in the millions, then they gathered all they needed from the surroundings, minerals and chemicals and started joining together again, in the shape of a horse. It did look odd, as if someone created a skeleton from the ground up and then started to wrap sinews and muscle around it at lightning speed. CeKay smiled to herself, she had programmed the nanites very well, when the hide was created to cover the beast she had made some odd choices. The fur covering the animal was like mercury, silvery but changing colour with the light and the mane and tail were thin and silky. The eyes of the horse were ice blue and as it was activated it raised the elegant head and stared at her. She had chosen a different design than the usual elven horses, this animal was very long legged and sleek and held its head high, it reminded her of a very elegant hound in some ways. 

CeKay transferred her orders to the creature and then she mounted it. The odd horse would draw attention, but that meant that few would notice its rider. It served as a distraction and she rode back to camp. Some of the elves there just stared as she came trotting slowly towards them, she could see that Fingolfin’s daughter was gaping and the lord himself exited his tent and stood there looking gobsmacked. CeKay petted the horse on its neck and it pawed at the ground, eager to go. “With this steed few will bother looking at me, until I am near enough to step into action” 

Fingolfin had to swallow. “You made him?!”

CeKay nodded. “Yes, I think I will name him Steelsong” 

Argon and his wife stood there and the prince tilted his head. “A good choice of name” 

CeKay grinned and turned the horse around. “I will be gone for a while, I do not know for how long.” 

Fingolfin did look a bit nervous. “Remember what I said, there could be things out there of which we yet are ignorant.” 

CeKay nodded. “And that is why I have to go, to find out. Be safe, never stay unguarded for long and I promise I will be back” 

She made Steelsong rush forth and the horse was just as fast as she had programmed it to be, it was like a wind and she did ride towards the camp of the Fëanorions. The landscape was rather open so she could see everything which moved from a large distance and she felt a sort of curiosity. She was programmed to gather information, it was one of her basic programs and she remembered that her maker had been very keen on his creations being capable of storing an infinite amount of data. She could have served as a science unit as much as an assassin and sometimes good knowledge of the very nature of a place is needed to be able to finish a mission in a satisfactory manner. She did ride for a few hours before she did see something moving and it was some riders. All elves and she saw the insignias on their clothes and knew that these were some of the sons of Fëanor. 

When they got closer she did see that it was the redheaded twins and the one called Celegorm, he had a giant white hound running by his side and CeKay immediately knew that this was no ordinary animal. Since they had seen her she stopped Steelsong and sat there, waiting for them to approach her. She needed to make them trust her, to make them tell her all they knew. In all there were at least twelve elves approaching her, most servants or warriors and all were armed. She wore no visible weapons and that probably made them think she was a lunatic. She bowed her head a little, as a sign of respect but not of submission and the huge white hound tilted its head and watched her with some sort of uncanny intelligence. For a moment she felt something trying to enter her mind and she shut it out immediately but not in a unfriendly manner. This was no animal, that was for darn sure but did its master know this?   
The tall ellon with the silvery blonde hair made a sardonic grin. “Fingolfin’s whore, out on her own. Have you grown bored of him already?” 

CeKay didn’t allow him to agitate her. “No, I am out gathering information about the enemy” 

The twins looked at each other and the hound sort of whimpered. “It is a reckless thing to do, alone like that. You carry no weapons?” 

She had no idea of which of the twins it was who spoke, they were so alike it was almost eerie and she sensed that these two were less cynical and perhaps more friendly than their older brother. “ I do rarely need weapons” 

Celegorm stared at Steelsong, there as wonder in his eyes. “I have never seen a horse like that, he looks fast” 

CeKay smiled internally, it worked, they focused on the unusual steed and forgot about her. “He is” 

The hound was constantly staring at her, it was trying to figure her out and she sensed that this creature was powerful in a way ordinary dogs are not. It had some sort of ancient wisdom within its gaze and she smiled and gestured towards it. “An impressive hound, where did you get it?” 

Celegorm couldn’t help but smile, a bit proud. “He was a gift from Oromë himself, his name is Huan” 

CeKay hid a grin, dog. Who calls his hound dog? Well, naming animals were not her job anyhow. She nodded. “Looks like a very strong animal”

Celegorm bent down from the saddle and ruffled the hounds thick fur. “He is, a good hunter” 

CeKay tilted her heads. “The scouts speak of wargs, and they claim they are fast?” 

The twins nodded in unison. “They are, and they are very enduring too, they can run for hours.” 

CeKay tried to think logically. “Do you think they are a natural animal the dark lord has transformed or something he has constructed?” 

Celegorm made a grimace. “They were wolves, I am pretty sure of that. I don’t think the dark lord is able to actually create anything on his own, he has to corrupt other beings in order to create the monsters of his.” 

CeKay took a deep breath. “Then his powers are limited, great yes but he isn’t omnipotent”

The elves stared at her with narrow eyes, the twins looked at each other and Celegorm had a suspicious expression within his eyes. “You are no ordinary female, I can sense it. I think we have underestimated you” 

Huan whimpered and turned around and CeKay felt that the creature somehow tried to make sure that his master didn’t learn of CeKay’s true nature. “You may have, it remains to be seen. Have you encountered anything else worth mentioning?” 

One of the twins made a grimace. “Some of our hunters caught an orc, and they…interrogated it. It didn’t tell much useful but it did squeak something about serpents of fire, on four legs.”

She frowned. “Was it something the dark lord is ready to unleash?” 

The redhead shook his head. “No, it was still something the dark forces are working on. Not done yet for sure.” 

CeKay swore within, it did sound ominous and she didn’t like it at all. Maybe it was time for her to do some interrogating on her own? “If you should happen to see something like that, do not approach it. I bet the bastard is able to form weapons too terrible to describe.” 

The question was how he did it, what sort of powers did he really possess? She had to find out. Celegorm spat on the ground. “I served Oromë and my former master were aghast learning of the things the fallen vala have done to the creatures of these lands.” 

CeKay found it odd that the valar were shocked by what Morgoth did, and yet they just sat there, passively, watching him ruin so much. Either they were downright lazy or they didn’t dare to take action, why? 

She sighed and petted Steelsong. “Thank you for the little chat, I am off to find some Sindar, to hear if they have something to tell me” 

Celegorm sneered. “Dark elves? Good luck, they are below us in every way, do not trust them to give you good information.” 

CeKay sent him a stern glance, was this elf a racist? Obviously, she disliked him even more. “That is something I will be the judge of thank you” 

She bowed her head to the twins and let Steelsong run off but not faster than an ordinary horse, no point in revealing too much. The elves stared after her but she didn’t care, she rode south for a while until she met a row of low rolling hills and followed a river eastwards. She didn’t need to rest but as night fell she pretended to be making a simple camp. She guessed that the sindar elves would show themselves when they felt ready for it, they were hardly any more primitive than the noldor, a people able to thrive and survive in this environment had to be tough and hardy and smart, not the least smart. She sat there watching the stars and expanded her senses, feeling every living being in her surroundings. She was amused by the amount of life there, it was such a thriving world and yet it was threatened by this dark vala. It was truly sad. 

She had sat there for a while when she felt something approach her, she tensed up and felt that this was no elf. She cocked her head in astonishment when she saw that it was Huan. The great hound jogged forth and sat down in front of her, staring at her with those odd eyes. She took a deep breath. “You are here but not because your master asked you to, what do you want?” 

The hound seemed to shiver and shrink and change and suddenly she stared at a naked male, seemingly an elf but he felt different, more powerful. “Celegorm may call himself my master but he is not, I am my own and I do still obey my first lord.” 

CeKay had to grin, so many secrets. “You are a maia then”

The former hound nodded, he was very sleek and did still look like a predator. “Yes, of Oromë.”

CeKay frowned. “Do explain, why would your lord give you to an elf, even a Fëanorion?” 

Huan grinned. “Oromë does care of these lands, he loves them but he cannot do anything, he isn’t allowed to return. I am his eyes here, he wishes to help but his brethren won’t permit it.”

CeKay felt that she was onto something there. “Why not?” 

Huan sighed. “The valar were born from Eru’s own mind, and they are all siblings, but some are closer than the others. Melkor was the brother of Manwë, our king. And Manwë still believe that his brother can be…rehabilitated. Plus, he does fear that by destroying Melkor he will be destroying himself” 

CeKay made a grimace, that did explain quite a lot. “What do you think?” 

The maia made a grimace. “Melkor is beyond salvation, he has to be thrown into the void, to be banished from Arda for all time to come. But we have no idea of how we are to accomplish such a task without causing even greater damage in the process. He will not go down quietly, that is for darn sure.” 

CeKay nodded. “I have understood this much too. He is rather set on reshaping everything in his image right?” 

Huan nodded. “Yes, and that is why I sought you out. You are no maia, not of Arda at all. I can sense it” 

CeKay sighed, grimaced. “You are right, like you I was created by someone very powerful. Does Celegorm know you are a maia?” 

 

The former hound shook his head. “Heck no, he thinks I am just a hound, large yes, and blessed by Oromë. He is a good master for he loves all sorts of beasts, too bad he doesn’t have the same skills with people. He thinks I am out hunting, he doesn’t know that I went to find you” 

CeKay nodded firmly, finding a better position in which to sit. “So why did you come here?” 

Huan stared at her, the eyes were the same now as in his hound shape. “You can make a difference, change things. There are things foretold which can ruin everything, but by being here you can help the elves and perhaps prevent disasters from happening. “ 

CeKay frowned. “You are talking of altering history itself”

The maia nodded. “Yes, do you have a problem with that?”

CeKay remembered the rules given to explorers, never to intervene with the natural development of the planets and civilizations they encountered. But she had never been made to obey those directives, she was after all a soldier. “No, not really” ¨

The maia transformed back to a hound again. “Good, I will contact you, in the meantime do try to stay safe, and don’t let the enemy learn about your true nature. If he does find out that there are other worlds out there who knows what he might do”

Cekay felt a chill running down her spine, oh damnation, she started to believe that maybe it was fate and not sheer chance which had landed her on this planet. A creature like Morgoth on the loose out there among the countless worlds of the explored universe? Now that was a horrible thought. “ I will try” 

The dog just nodded and turned around, disappeared into the darkness and CeKay sat there feeling a bit odd. Could she really use her full potential without endangering others? She had no idea. But she still had to learn more of the enemy, if she was to do anything useful she would have to gain as much information as possible. She sat there until the sun rose, then she rode off again. She kept riding for two days until she reached a fortified settlement populated by sindar elves, she stopped Steelsong within hearing range of the walls and she just waited. It took a while, then a rider appeared through the gates, it was a warrior and he wore armour and a sword. CeKay remained passive, sitting there until he stopped his horse next to her, staring at her with wide eyes. “You are no sinda, and no avarin, Are you a noldo?”

She bowed her head. “I did arrive with the host of Fingolfin, but I am no noldo!”

The warrior frowned. “You are alone, unarmed, on a horse which shines like silver. You are either mad or extremely powerful” 

CeKay had to grin. “I am CeKay, and I am not as mad as you may think” 

The warrior swallowed. “ I am known as Angrion, what are you doing out here if you came with the brother of Fëanor?” 

CeKay tilted her head and smiled sweetly. “ I am gathering information about the enemy, the elves arriving from Aman knows so little of the situation here and they know even less of the dangers they do meet here.” 

Angrion pressed his lips together. “Information? Then I think there is someone you need to meet” 

She felt a surge of curiosity. “Really? Then show me to him” 

Angrion nodded. “ I will, you carry no weapons, or else I would have asked you to surrender them to me.” 

She kept the sweet smile. “I do not need a blade, the only weapon I need is myself”

The elf did look a bit nervous but he turned his horse and CeKay rode after him, the settlement wasn’t large, it could perhaps house a hundred elves and most she saw when she entered the gates were warriors. They all wore armour and they seemed hardened and rough. Many stared at her horse and fewer bothered looking at her, she smiled to herself. They stopped in front of a stable and the stable hands came to get the horses and were obviously a bit shocked to see that her horse wore no tack at all. “You ride like an avarin elf, and your horse doesn’t resemble any breed we have heard of.” 

CeKay had to grin. “He is pretty unique yes” 

The warrior did look puzzled but gestured for her to follow him. “This fortress is under the command of lord Baralin of Doriath, we are here to keep an eye on Morgoth and report if he makes a move towards the south” 

She saw that the fortress was a very well equipped one, these were bold warriors and they needed to be too, they were rather close to the dark lords area still. “You are brave then” 

Angrion grimaced. “We are needed, that is the truth.” 

He entered one of the buildings and CeKay could smell herbs and ointments, this was an infirmary. Angrion stopped and whispered to a female elf clad in a sort of uniform, she seemed to be rather wise and ancient and her eyes were piercing and clear. The female gestured for them to follow and they came into a new room, it was small and not very well lighted but warm and comfortable and there was a bed in there and some chairs. Angrion made a grimace. “This is Fimrion, he was caught by the enemy and kept as a slave for many years but he managed to escape due to a landslide.” 

CeKay stared at the figure in the bed, she could hardly believe what she saw. The elf had lost an arm and was covered with scars. He was almost bald and his ears appeared to have been cut off, and one eye was white and blind. He was breathing in a funny way and CeKay realized that this was a dying elf. He had to have gotten away just because of sheer stubbornness. She sat down slowly, stared at the elf who turned his head, the seeing eye glittered in the faint light. “That is a sight for sore eyes, what is your name fair lady?” 

The voice was hoarse and almost growling and she understood that his vocal cords were damaged. She leaned forth and grasped his remaining hand, held it firmly. “I am CeKay. You have knowledge of the enemy?” 

Fimrion coughed. “Yes, what do you want me to tell you about?” 

She took a deep breath. “Save your strength, and your voice. I can access your mind and see for myself, if you permit it?” 

Fimrion grinned, most of his teeth were missing and he was skin and bones. “I can sense something odd about you lady, you are not of us but a creature of light, yes, do enter my mind but be warned, the things you will see will shock you” 

She nodded. “I do not doubt that, but I need to learn as much as possible of the dark lord and his minions. “ 

He made a grimace. “Then do it, I do not have long time left, I worked in the mines and my lungs are damaged by all the dust. There are limits for what even an elf can take.” 

She concentrated, let her energy patterns mingle with the electrical patterns of his brain and started to interpret them as memories, as images and sensations. What she saw did make her gasp and coil back, she hadn’t expected anything like this. No wonder why the dark lord was so feared, and so powerful. And the sufferings she saw were beyond description, it was a kingdom born out of hatred and fear, built on terror and agony and the beasts she saw were in no better shape than the slaves. The avarin shaman was right, the orcs were bred and born in hatred of what they could have been, and the same was true for all the other monsters there. They feared their master and hated him but only he could offer them solace through endless bloodshed and violence. She released her hold on the elf’s mind and felt an urge to cleanse herself somehow, she stored the memories in a special file, she didn’t want to access them by accident. 

“I did see it, all of it. I cannot believe that you did survive this” 

Fimrion lifted his arm in a obscene gesture. “I am a stubborn one, I would have loved to piss that bastard straight in the eye. Now I cannot do that anymore, but I bet that you can” 

CeKay smiled. “I doubt that I will piss him in the eye but I can become a thorn in his side for sure” 

Fimrion chuckled. “That is what I am talking about, do cause him anguish yes? Ruin his plans”

CeKay felt how the energy of this elf was waning, he was truly dying and for a moment she wondered if she should try to heal his injuries but there was something in his expression which made her turn away from that idea. He had accepted his fate and was ready to leave his ruined body behind and she wasn’t one to force such things onto others. It would be cruel. “I will do my very best” 

She shook his hand again, he had shown her so much and she bit her teeth together and knew that she now could do something useful. Angrion had been silent the whole time and he frowned. “You are no elf, what are you truly?” 

Cekay didn’t want to reveal too much, even to friendly ones. If the enemy caught even one as hardened as Angrion he would eventually speak. “Something new, something the dark lord ought to fear” 

The warrior nodded slowly. “Then I pray that he one day will. His orcs and beasts are a menace and we do whatever we can to keep our realms safe but they are so many, and so ruthless” 

CeKay growled. “I know, I thank you for the help, I think I will return to Fingolfin’s camp now, I have the information I need” 

Angrion followed her back outside and CeKay sent him a friendly smile. “I thank you for the help, now I can form plans” 

Angrion nodded. “Fimrion is just one of many, so many are enslaved by that monster and I cannot bare the thought of what they are going through. Do help them” 

CeKay knew what to do now, what she needed to change before the elves dared to attack the fortress. “ I will” 

She walked over to Steelsong and mounted the horse in a fleeting movement. “I know my task now, please take care, and do not allow any more to be taken. “

Angrion grimaced. “We will try” 

CeKay turned Steelsong. “Good, we will meet again” 

She spurred the horse and rushed out through the gates, she knew that the lord of the fortress probably would have wanted to speak to her but she had better things to do now. She let Steelsong stretch out and rode back the way she had come. She had been riding for a whole day when she suddenly felt an odd presence and she slowed down. It felt as if something was wrong, the very land itself did mumble of darkness and death and the trees were wailing as if in fear. She frowned, something was approaching her, something dark and very dangerous and she bared her teeth. Of course, her actions had been noticed by the dark lord, he most certainly had sent out something rather bad to look for the cause of the odd happenings. Could whatever it was sense that she was the cause the balrogs had lost their powers? 

She grimaced, of course it could. The dark lord would never send something flawed or weak to investigate something that severe, it had probably honed in on her already and she knew she would have to fight this time. She dragged her energy tighter around herself, let just a small amount be visible. She had to appear to be more than an elf but not something too powerful. The energy of the land around her got warped, and she felt a chill. She activated Steelsong’s combat programs and then she herself went into fighting mode. Now it was a waiting game and she rode slowly forth, like someone who doesn’t suspect any dangers at all.

She was being watched from a hill nearby, two huge figures sat astride a giant warg each and they stared at the rider with glowing red eyes. It was a female, apparently an elf and a very powerful one, but still just an elf. Maybe one from Aman? The hunters were confident and had reason to be, they were among their masters prime creations and they had always been twisted and dark. They lived to serve him and their greatest joy was to follow his bidding.   
This rider could be the one responsible for the loss of the balrogs, it wasn’t very likely since it wasn’t that strong but they had felt her from a distance and as the rest of the creatures of Morgoth they hated the beings of light intensely. That in itself was reason enough to attack. They split up and knew that they could trap the rider in a small valley up ahead, it was a dead end and it would be like a mouse cornered by a cat. They gave a shout to their steeds and the huge wargs ran forth, teeth bared and eyes gleaming with anticipation. 

CeKay saw that two creatures appear and she realized what they were trying to do, she smiled and made Steelsong run, straight into the trap. The creatures had a humanoid shape but they were cloaked in black and she sensed that they had to be some sort of maiar. Different from the balrogs and probably more powerful too. This would be a challenge. She rode hard and prepared herself, she would have to strike hard and suddenly, not allowing her opponents to gather for a counterattack. They were flesh and bone and yet not, she could feel that they were some sort of very ancient spirits and they were bound to darkness forever. So they hated the light? Good! For there would be light for sure. 

She reached the cliff at the end of the canyon and had to turn Steelsong around as if she was trying to find a way out. The front rider was already close by and the huge black warg charged at the silvery steed. It was used to felling horses and lunged forwards, jaws wide open to bite through the animal’s neck. The moment the warg closed its jaws it sealed its own doom, hard spikes of steel shout out of the horse’s slender neck and pierced the warg’a palate, entering the brain. The beast died with a whimper, falling like a log and the rider let out a piercing wail of disbelief. The other rider did hesitate, and that was when Steelsong lowered its head and ran straight at the warg, seemingly set on ramming it. The Warg tried to turn around and a horn shot out from the forehead of the horse, it was glowing hot and pierced the side of the warg like a knife through warm butter. The warg let out a shriek and fell in convulsions and the two riders were without mounts, and the shock sort of paralyzed them for a few seconds. Nothing had ever harmed their mounts and before anger could manifest itself in their minds the rider transformed into a creature which glowed like the huge orb on the sky. 

They shrieked, backed off to protect their eyes and CeKay extended her arms, formed them into blades and they pierced the chests of both the creatures but these were not mortal beings. A stab to the chest wouldn’t harm them for long. She let the very tip of the blades transform into plasma, hotter than the surface of a star, for a few seconds the chests of the two creatures did glow from within, then they simply exploded and pieces of their physical beings were raining down around her. She swiftly absorbed their energy the same way she had with the balrogs and grinned widely. They hadn’t anticipated that the mouse in a corner in truth was a monster like themselves. She let her nanites go to work on the carcasses of the wargs, they dissolved them completely and let the bodies return to the earth. The two riders shared the same fate, even the armours were dissolved and CeKay knew that the dark lord would be utterly confused now, and frustrated. Excellent, if he was busy trying to solve that mystery he wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on his own fortress, for that was where she was heading, if the elves were to attack Angband they wouldn’t want to risk the lives of the slaves, so she had to free them. She petted Steelsong again and her eyes were shining as she gathered some speed. Things were going to change, the dark lord would discover that things no longer would be easy to accomplish.


	7. The fire of my heart...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CeKay starts to realize that perhaps she was meant to be there after all, maybe she does have a role to play, one for which her abilities may be crucia....

Chapter 7: The fire of my heart…..

She knew that the task she had given herself was a tough one, and not one easily fulfilled. In fact she would need time to accomplish anything, and not a small amount of audacity. The enemy knew that something was out there, and the monsters sent for her told her that he was on the lookout. But the enemy didn’t know what she was, or what she could do. She still wanted to learn as much as possible so she turned and rode east, she needed to see whatever borders this Morgoth had before she could form a real plan. The area affected by his powers was immense, the size of a country and she often sent up small swarms of nanites programmed to act like drones to give her a better picture of the situation. There were orcs everywhere, and wargs and other odd creatures too and they were constantly on the prowl. She could sense their hatred and their anguish, and she knew that these beings couldn’t be saved. Their souls were too corrupted and she wondered where they went when they died. She rode around for weeks before she returned to the camp of Fingolfin and when she did she was shocked to see that Fingon had returned, and that he had managed to rescue his cousin.   
She had believed his task to be impossible and yet he had achieved exactly what he went out to do and she was greeted by a very relieved Fingolfin. She had to meet the former king of the Noldor elves and what she saw almost made her reel back. She had no idea that a living being could be that damaged and still live. He had to have starved for very long and Fingon had cut off his right hand to rescue him, the stump looked inflamed and ugly and the poor elf was almost skeletal They had shaved his head and she saw that his skin was covered with scars almost everywhere, his ears were mutilated too, and he had lost many teeth. What stared at her from the bed was a wreck, something which shouldn’t have been alive and yet he was. He stared at her and she saw that his eyes were glassy and filled with fatigue and yet she knew that he hadn’t given up. There was still a spark there, still a strong will and she sat down and tried to look calm. He cocked his head. “Fingon told me about you, the one not a maia and not an elf.” 

She smiled. “Yes, if I tried to explain what I am I am afraid it would be too difficult for any of you to comprehend. “ 

Maedhros sighed. “I have seen things these last years my lady, things few would even dare to think about. You would be surprised by what I can understand.” 

She took a deep breath “Maybe, but I prefer to hide, it is for your own safety. I don’t want the enemy to know of what and who I am” 

He cocked his head. “A fair decision, and a wise one too. “ 

CeKay saw that he was trembling and she could smell that he was in a great deal of pain. “I could help you with your agony” 

He shook his head. “No, as long as it hurts I know I am alive, it keeps me focused”

She found that sort of attitude hard to understand but then again, she hadn’t been through what he had. “ Will you return to your brothers?” 

He sighed and nodded. “Yes, I have to. But not too soon, I am still forbidden from leaving this tent. The healers say I am too weak.” 

She smiled. “And they are right, you are. But you are the king aren’t you?” 

He sighed again, closed his eyes, “Yes, but not for long. I am no longer fit to rule my Lady, I…I have changed. Angband changes you, and not for the better” 

She leaned forth. “You saw a lot while you were a prisoner, tell me, I need to know as much as possible” 

Maedhros managed to form a wry smile. “What do you want to hear me speak off? The horrors I had to endure? The torture, the rapes? The countless times when I begged for death?” 

She shook her head. “Strategy, the layout of the place, its defences.” 

He laughed, it was an ugly laughter. “Oh I could tell you that the place is impenetrable, that it is hell and that all sane beings should shun it at all costs. But that isn’t what you want to hear now is it?” 

She shook her head again, leaning back into the chair. “If anyone is to make a move against that place every little ounce of information will be valuable. It will be needed, and more so, I doubt that anyone would want to attack if there are elves in there, being used as living shields or worse” 

Maedhros frowned, the face had indeed been beautiful, and it still was, but it was a ragged sort of beauty now, one marred and twisted. “You hope to free the slaves? Forget it my lady, there are too many of them, spread all over the place. Nobody can hope to get them all out.” 

CeKay smiled, a very slow and mischievous smile. “Oh but I won’t, there will be no slaves missing, or so it will seem. “ 

The elf looked confused and she tilted her head, her eyes sparkling. “It will take time, years perhaps, but I do think I can achieve what I want. So I need to know everything you have learned about that fortress, inside and out” 

He sighed, his eyes distant “Alright, listen well for I do not wish to repeat what I am about to tell you, not even once” 

CeKay nodded and listened and the healers dropped by every now and then to give Maedhros some medicine and food but he didn’t stop speaking, he told her everything, every little detail of what he had seen and she stored everything carefully. If her plan was to become a success she needed to make sure that every eventuality was covered. 

 

As CeKay was sitting there listening to Maedhros someone else was also busy, and that someone was far from happy. The two hunters they had sent out had vanished, completely. Even their wargs were gone and it seemed as if their entire energy had simply disappeared into thin air. If they had encountered the thing they were sent out to chase and it had done this he had underestimate that enemy, a lot! What was he to do? What had the power to simply destroy such powerful servants? Oh he had stronger ones, but he hadn’t believed that it was needed to use them, Now he saw that he was wrong in this assumption and he was quite literally steaming with anger as he strode down the halls. As if this wasn’t enough the prisoner had been rescued, not that it mattered much for that elf couldn’t possibly do much harm in the state he was in but it was a blow to their pride. His lieutenant had been glowing with anger when some unfortunate orc came to tell them of the rescue and it had been vaporised instantly. Could the valar really be behind this? Well, who else? A vague idea touched his mind, what if it was Eru himself who had decided to intervene? That left him feeling slightly uncomfortable for even his power was naught compared with that of the maker.   
He strode into a vast hall and stared out at an assembly of creatures. The sounds and the stench was overwhelming but he didn’t care, he smiled, a wide malicious smile. “ Go, wreak havoc. Make sure they fear my name” 

Roars and growls were the answer and the gates were opened and the horde rushed out. He stared at them, feeling very satisfied and even proud. Nobody would be able to withstand something like this, he would crush all resistance for sure. Yes, they would soon all bow to his might, and this impertinent maia or whatever it was should be easy to get rid of. He left the hall in a considerably better mood than before,, it was a minor setback, just a bagatelle. It was the final results which mattered and he was sure it would be grand. 

 

CeKay had been sitting with Maedhros for a while, and now the noldo was resting. She had been shocked by what he told her but then again, she was no stranger to the concept of evil. In fact she knew pretty much all that there is to know about it. The Talgmarians had been a force of sheer evil, their intentions purely selfish and their goals hellish. And they had not been the only ones, there were horrible atrocities committed throughout the universe and she had never doubted that this sort of darkness could show up almost anywhere. But she had no idea of what these valar really were, she only knew that they were powerful and seen as deities and so she sought out Fingolfin and made him tell her all that he and the other elves knew. She got an odd feeling listening to him, they acted on behalf of the one responsible for creating them and this world, or did they really? Some of the things he said made her suspect that they had their own agenda, or that they had forgotten what they originally were supposed to do and were running their own race. 

The maps were no good, she could see that. She had covered a lot of land and even the avarin elves had been unable to get as close to the enemy as she had. There were so much of which nobody yet could be certain and she had already realized that the elves probably would be unable to conquer their enemy. They could stall him for sure, slow down his progress, even put a siege to his fortress but she doubted that they could do any real damage. A complete victory was almost impossible to achieve without the aid from someone way more powerful than themselves and she was only one. Even if she did replicate herself she wouldn’t be able to do much They needed the valar, that was the nasty truth, but what could she do to bring them here? What would arise their interest? Huan had said that Manwë feared attacking his brother out of fear of ruining himself, but could that be used somehow? 

She was thinking and thinking a lot too, the days passed by and yet she didn’t manage to come to any conclusion. Maedhros was transported back to his brother’s camp and she saw that the atmosphere between the two camps was rather tense still. Family was nice she supposed, as long as it didn’t break itself apart, like this one had. She had a hard time understanding what the main reason was but apparently it had something to do with a remarriage and breaking the ancient rules. The elves who had come over the ice had split up into groups, seeking their own places to live and she didn’t like it. Fingolfin didn’t like it neither but he couldn’t control his brother’s children. They travelled south towards the kingdoms of the sindar elves and CeKay felt an odd urge to join them. Why she did not know but what she heard about Doriath made her curious. The queen was a maia, and she had a daughter? That meant that the maiar were flesh and blood, or at least that they could take shape. There was so much she wanted to learn. But she weighed her options carefully, going south meant that she couldn’t help those captured by the enemy. She found that she was more useful up north and so she stayed. 

It was about a week later that some avarin elves came to the camp, they were obviously running from something and they told of new horrors spewing out of Angband. Giant wolves, orcs and trolls larger and stronger than before, and way more vicious. It was horrible and many had died. Fingolfin ordered that a line was to be drawn around the lands of the enemy, and that nobody was to venture past it. They couldn’t risk more lives and the local elves all moved southwards, towards the forested areas behind the great mountains. They didn’t dare to stay any longer and the attacks became rather frequent now, and very violent. The elves did fight well though, and they had a technique which was impressive but the enemy had the benefit of vast numbers. Maedhros abdicated and gave Fingolfin the title of high king, Cekay realized that he had done it not only for his own sake but also for that of his brothers. They didn’t like it, but it left them with much greater freedom and yet she knew that the oath they had sworn bound them, and that it was a terrible burden. Morgoth had the silmarils and he would never part with them, thus none of them could leave. 

CeKay started working on a plan, it was insane and very daring but it could work. She ordered the warriors to capture some orcs alive and she used her skills to read their minds and memories, learning the language of this race and its culture She also learned of the organization of the fortress, who was in charge of each division, how were things done? The orcs were executed afterwards and she slowly gained enough knowledge to be able to take action. She left early one morning, riding north on Steelsong, she had brought little with her, just some wine in a jug and an extra blanket. She wouldn’t need much for what she was going to do. She rode until she reached the border Fingolfin had designed, there she left Steelsong and told the creature to go back to the camp and help defend it. Then she walked forth, in camouflage mode.   
Her plan was extremely daring and courageous and it was also downright stupid for anyone not her. She walked on until she reached some orcs, a group of perhaps twenty heading back towards Angband after a raid and she repeated the trick she had used when she first encountered the elves. She simply followed them, hid among them and she made sure that she didn’t make any sort of noise nor smell. The orcs were not smart at all, they were in fact brutal beasts with little brain power and she found it rather amazing that they were able to even function. They depended upon their leaders a lot and could be fooled easily. She wondered how their master could be satisfied with such creations, they were expendable for sure and not very useful for anything except killing and pillaging She hid her energy too, made herself completely invisible and prepared herself for the task ahead. 

They reached the fortress late one evening, in this land it was perpetual dusk, the clouds of ash from the volcano blotted out the sunlight and it was a land of grey and black. The fortress did indeed fit its name, the iron hill. She had seen images of more impressive structures but not many and it exuded power and malice. The orcs were let in through one of the side gates and CeKay veered off the moment she was inside. She had no interest in visiting the orc barracks, she wanted to see where the slaves were kept, and if there was some way she could help them. Angband was massive, a city in itself with so many levels both over and under ground. The air was filled with dust and sulphur and it did stink and everywhere she saw the servants of the fallen vala. Some were maiar and others creatures she had no name for but they were all corrupted like their master and their light darkened and twisted. 

The halls of Angband had a sort of very dark majesty, the architecture very cold and geometrical and there was little light there. Just sconces and lamps and some places rivers of molten rock which gave off an eerie red glow. CeKay was shocked in more ways than one, the wickedness she sensed in this place so deep and so ancient. And then there were the slaves, and prisoners. As she slowly made her way through the fortress she saw the full truth of what Maedhros had told her, and she realized that there was no way she could help them all. It was a terrible truth she had to accept, she wasn’t omnipotent, her powers had limits and she had to be very careful for she started to realize that the master of this place could be even more powerful than herself. There was magic here which she couldn’t explain, energies brought from sources she couldn’t identify and it permeated the air like fog. Any use of power there could be detected so she would have to be patient, very patient indeed. 

She hid within small cracks in the very rock itself, she could slide through narrow openings and rest within caves and rooms yet undiscovered and she explored and mapped the entire fortress, never allowing herself to be seen and never intervening with anything she saw, even when it tore at her heart. The torture and mutilation of prisoners was horrific and ghastly and she was feeling intensely remorseful when she couldn’t save those she saw dying every day. But she was programmed as a warrior and sometimes you have to sacrifice some to save others, it was the way it had to be. The mountains were vast and she slowly used her nanites to dig a way out of the fortress. It was narrow and long and dark but could be used without any light and it was safe. It ended in a canyon quite a distance from the fortress itself and she kept digging and expanding it for what had to be months. She didn’t need to eat nor drink or rest, she kept working and as she worked she also let her nanites weaken the structures of the very fortress itself. It wasn’t obvious to anyone but here and there she left small flaws, structural weaknesses which would become useful if the valar ever decided to get off their asses and do something real. 

But she soon realized that this place was permeated by a magic which was just to vile to describe, it felt like some sort of slimy goo sticking to her very mind and she was glad she wasn’t a biological entity, it would have ruined her. She was more or less immune to its effect but she had to use a lot of energy to hide from it. The dark vala was in deed powerful, and she could sense its twisted intelligence and will. But she tried to create a mental map of the place and she also left nanites here and there, programmed to cause damage. Every little thing she did to help would prove to be helpful and so she rarely rested. 

Sliding around in camouflage mode allowed her to get a good picture of everyday life within this place. She used days and weeks before she was used to the routines and she was impressed against her will by the elegance with which the enormous fortress was governed. The orcs were stupid and the trolls even more so but the balrogs seemed to act like officers, keeping the foot soldiers in line and then there were the other creatures. They were breeding wargs and trolls and she saw how the magic was used to twist otherwise natural beings into odd and horrible shapes. It was rather apparent that Morgoth at some point had tried the idea of merging metal and flesh and it hadn’t worked out well at all. He didn’t have the knowledge needed to create such creatures and so he failed. 

She learned the language of the place, learned how to interpret the way the orcs interacted and the way their leaders constantly quarrelled and fought to gain power. It was a society like all others but one based upon wickedness and abuse and it worked simply because they never had experienced anything else. The slaves were seen as beasts, and the orcs feared the elves and hated them and would have killed them all if they hadn’t been held back by their masters. CeKay found it disturbing to see the things which were done to these poor elves, she had a hard time accepting that there was little she could do but she was no God, only a single android with some rather unique programming. She had been there for what could be months when she one day found yet another dungeon she hadn’t visited. It was placed rather far from the centre of the fortress, near the base of it and it was apparently abandoned a long time ago. She got curious for it could be used if the fortress got attacked and so she entered it, carefully sliding down the dust covered stairs, barely making a mark. She got extremely shocked when she discovered that there was something alive down there. 

It ought to be impossible, and yet one of the cells did smell of a living being and she slid closer, completely invisible and hidden. The dungeon was dark, only a few fluorescent mushrooms growing on the mouldy walls provided light and it was very weak indeed. She saw a shape within the cell, it was rather large, way larger than an elf and it was dark too. Almost like charcoal in colour and almost scaly? She cocked her head, this was no creature she had encountered before and she was curious. Apparently it had done something wrong since it had been placed down here, or it had been an enemy of Morgoth from the very beginning. The thing moved again, turned its head around. It did look almost reptilian but it had some human features too and it was old, very old. She could sense it, this thing was extremely ancient and she suddenly realized that it was as alien to this world as herself. It had come from somewhere else and she felt a bang of pity, and an intense surge of curiosity. She had never heard of any race like this, as the thing moved she could see that it had six limbs instead of four, it had two sets of arms and the lower set seemed to have been mutilated, just stumps were left. The creature had a tail, that too had been cut off and the double set of eyes which turned towards her were white. This thing was blind, and it had suffered a lot but it was alive. She couldn’t really understand how that was possible for a biological creature like this one, was it like the elves somehow? 

The thing tilted its head, the wide mouth with a forked tongue opened and it spoke. “I can sense you, you are not one of his minions now are you.” 

CeKay almost reared back, the thing could sense her? It had to be extremely sensitive then, much more so than even her! She felt insecure, could she trust this thing? It was a prisoner so maybe she could. “I am no danger to you” 

Her voice came as a whisper, giving little away when it came to feelings or her nature. The thing grinned, it did indeed look very lizard like and she could see that it’s remaining front limbs were chained, the chains appeared to be extremely strong. “Good, you are not of this place, and you seek his destruction, it will not come by your hands starchild” 

CeKay felt shocked. “How do you know?”

The creature blinked, sat up and she saw that it had to have been very powerful once, a mighty being worthy of respect. “ I know a lot, too much perhaps” 

She frowned. “What do you mean?” 

The thing took a deep breath, for a moment it seemed to glow faintly. “It is the curse of my kin little one, we know. We see, and sometimes what we do see cannot be changed, even if we try” 

CeKay would have felt chills if she had been human, hadn’t she heard of…? 

The creature chuckled, the odd hollow voice made the sound sinister. “Oh yes, you have heard of us, forgotten within the very void of time itself. Once we were everywhere, now we are…gone” 

She gaped. “You are one of the gardeners?” 

The creature nodded. “Yes, we were called that, we were few but it was our task to make sure that life would thrive and grow and evolve. Our task ended a long time ago, so long ago even I have a hard time understanding it” 

CeKay had knelt down. “Then why are you here? How?” 

The thing lowered its head, something which looked like shame crossed over the odd features. “Curiosity, and stupidity. Combined that is a terrible thing, a most horrible affliction. And one of which I am guilty.” 

She tilted her head. The thing got a little closer to the bars. “You were powerful, like Gods?”

The creature smiled, and broken misshapen teeth could be seen. “Yes, servants of the universe itself, I was the youngest one, and thus I fell, for I hadn’t the wisdom to understand that even we can be tricked and betrayed.” 

She started to get a suspicion. “The one they call Eru, he is one of you?” 

It slumped forwards. “Maybe, a powerful one then, and benign, following the biddings. But not flawless, not able to deter all wickedness. A creator beyond doubt, capable of great things, of shaping exquisite worlds” 

She stared at it. “What went wrong?” 

The thing sighed, its head lulling from one side to the other. “I had drifted for so long, in a different shape than this one mind you, and when I felt a spark of freshly formed power I wanted to see what it was. I was so excited when I saw this world, newly formed, seemingly flawless and I forgot to be careful, forgot to make my presence known. I just wanted to see what my brethren had created and so I descended and before I knew it I was trapped.” 

CeKay had to frown again. “Trapped? How?” 

It waved its front limbs, they resembled arms but had too many joints. “ There was a will here, one dark and mean and just horrible and it grasped me and I couldn’t resist. I had never encountered anything like it before. Long time has gone since it happened, this world has changed a lot and I have been moved many times, been changed many times too.” 

She sensed its pain and anguish and started to understand. “The dark lord, he has stolen your powers now haven’t he? That is why he can create all these monsters? His gifts were not given to him by Eru at all.” 

The creatures scoffed. “Of course not, if Eru is one of us and this master of death and darkness sprung from Eru then he cannot do anything if it isn’t Eru’s bidding. But steal someone else’s power and do whatever you wish. He was supposed to deal with things like rock and metal and the shapes of the earth, not living beings.”

CeKay would have felt nauseous, if she could. “You have been a prisoner for a long time, does he still need you?”

The thing shook his head. “Oh my powers he has stolen ages ago, and I have nothing left to give him. But he keeps me here since I tried to resist, tried to stop him, tried to withhold the power of true creation. He fears what I know, so he cannot kill me, for then that knowledge will be lost, and he may fail later on.” 

She was impressed, she didn’t doubt that Morgoth and his minions would have tortured the poor being for all it was worth. “You were brave” 

The creature smiled, a bitter smile. “No, I was stupid. I gave him power unwillingly, and the power was weakened thus. He can never truly create, only distort and that makes him mad. I have been the cause of such suffering due to that. And yet I couldn’t have done it differently, this entire world would have been twisted beyond recognition if I had given in.” 

She saw it, for a brief moment her mind was filled with an image of dark and burning skies and a world where only things made from metal and rock lived. A dead world, yet alive, in a mock interpretation of the makers true intentions. “You did well, he isn’t omnipotent” 

The thing nodded. “I was his test subject, he tried everything on me, knowing I am indestructible. And now, now he is brewing new deviltry somewhere within this fortress, something even worse than his previous attempts. He hates light little one, he hates everything which doesn’t bow to him and his ideas.” 

CeKay leaned in closer. “What can I do?”

The chained creature pulled at the chains. “ I see things Starchild, I see the possible outcome of every action, of every though and idea. It’s like a maze of futures, intertwined and linked together and yet independent. One small action may change everything” 

She blinked. “Yes, and I do wish to help, to destroy this enemy of all things good. I want to help this world” 

The thing took a deep breath. “I see many possible outcomes of this little one, none too pleasing, No matter what you do or don’t there will be death, and suffering, and this world will be changed forever. Its story is already written little one, like an opera leaving the hands of the composer. Only interpretations are possible, small subtle alterations. If you wish to do good you must listen to me and listen well, for if you don’t things may be lost forever. You were not supposed to be here Starchild, you are something unseen by the maker, and yet you have brought hope.” 

CeKay stared at the creature, it was like a God, and yet Morgoth had managed to capture it somehow and force it to reveal its secrets. He truly was one twisted entity. “Yes, so what do I do?” 

The creature moved as if in pain. “Continue as before, undermine the very fortress itself, the valar will come little one, there is still many centuries to come before they do but when the time comes this fortress must fall. Then you must make sure that the dark master doesn’t manage to kill certain individuals. There are things which must happen little one, things and actions which you may kick into action. Be the one to trigger change, be the one who makes sure that the story does unfold as it is supposed to. Morgoth wishes to change destiny, to avoid his ultimate fate, he has to fail” 

CeKay saw that the creature’s eyes were glowing slightly. “How?” 

The thing bared its teeth. “ One day there will be a final battle, one day the forces of light will win and this marred world will be remade, as the maker intended it to be, beautiful and peaceful. Morgoth will be vanquished and destroyed, and all remnants of his powers erased. I will show you the way it is supposed to be, and what you have to do to make sure it happens just the right way” 

It reached out with one of the ruined limbs and CeKay managed to touch it and for a moment her mind was reeling, so much information, so much knowledge. It was overwhelming even for her and she felt her core almost overloading from the sheer amount of energy she received. But she saw, she knew and she moaned. So many tasks, so many things which had to be accomplished. She sighed, stared at the creature. “And you, what about you?” 

The gardener lowered its head. “He fears me Starchild, for I know the truth. I know how he can be vanquished. I have waited for you little one, ever since I first saw your descent.” 

CeKay took a deep breath. “You knew I was coming?” 

The thing nodded. “Yes, but not when, or in what shape. That is the one problem with my powers, there are many uncertainties and I am yet unable to determine whether or not someone is good or evil at heart. But you little one, now that I have touched your being I know you are of light, created so far away and yet bound to this place. You have such fire in your heart, such strong will.”

CeKay had to grin. “I don’t really have a heart you know” 

It waved a hand slowly. “Pssh, a detail, your soul in lack of better words cannot be broken, it is not programmed to quit. You can do the impossible with what I have shown you, and you can chose to let yourself be run by logic, not feelings. A sentient compassionate being will not do much good for its feelings will get the best of it, and it will fail”

She nodded, the things she already had seen, it was ghastly and yet unavoidable. “But you, what about you? Can I free you? I didn’t see you at all in the visions?”

The creature nodded. “No you didn’t, for I will no longer exist. I have kept myself alive for so long, just to mock him and to wait for our one hope.” 

CeKay gasped. “You are gonna die? But…” 

The creature nodded. “ I will return to the universe little one, this suit of flesh and bones a prison into which I was forced by the enemy. Do not mourn me, for I can finally be free yet again” 

She had to nod, but she felt sad somehow. “I am sorry”

He reached out again, something in his hand. “Take this, you will know what to do with it when the time comes. Keep it unto then” 

She stared at the object, it was a piece of metal, very dark in color and very heavy even if it wasn’t much larger than her thumb. She felt an odd energy come from it and she frowned and stored it inside of a pocket within her own body. The creature smiled again, “My bones will be all that will be left, the enemy will think I perished and some unfortunate guards will be punished. Go now, do the things destiny asks of you.” 

She touched its hand again. “What name should I remember you by?” 

The creature tilted its head. “I was known as Zherab, that name is forgotten now. Keep it with you until the end and then maybe we will meet once more” 

CeKay saw that the creature sort of shrank, the skin and flesh almost melted away and suddenly only an oddly twisted skeleton was left there. She felt a swift surge of energy and the she was alone there, feeling confused and lonely even. It was such a task, leading history in the right direction and yet she had no choice, she had seen what failure would trigger,  
She went into camouflage mode yet again, glad she didn’t feel the need to cry. 

She had seen so many deaths and knew that she couldn’t prevent even one of them, all she could do was to make sure that it wasn’t all in vain. She left the dungeon and now she went to work again with even greater determination. She had seen what was to happen, now she had to make sure that it all happened just the right way. When she was done with her work there she abandoned the fortress, it was a place she would return to later but now there were more important tasks to take care of. She had to ensure that the fortress indeed would come under siege, it as crucial and it meant that she would have to use all of her skills, in a less violent manner than before. She had a smile upon her lips as she raced forth over the plains, unseen by even the dark lord. It would not be easy, but it would be interesting, yes, very interesting indeed.


	8. Hidden truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CeKay enters Doriath and meets with its Maiar queen and she discovers that maybe she has more roles to play than she first believed...

Chapter 8: Hidden truths

CeKay returned to the camp of Fingolfin in a haste and she was quickly brought to Fingolfin. He wanted to know what she had seen and done since she had been gone for months and she told him a lot, but not everything. Some things she had to keep to herself, even if it did hurt her. She wanted to help, to avoid further bloodshed but knew she couldn’t say anything, unless she changed the very fabric of the future.  
There had been plans made while she was away and one of the sons of Fingolfin’s brother was going to travel south to Doriath to see if they could somehow forge a union with the sindar elves. By now Fingolfin had been crowned high king and it seemed as if the feud between the houses had been if not erased the at least toned down. CeKay doubted that the majority of the Fëanorions and their followers did approve but they didn’t protest. CeKay felt that her duty now would be to follow Angrod to Doriath, there were things she had seen of which she needed greater clarity and she was curious too. 

Angrod would travel with just some servants, his sister Artanis and friends and the group wasn’t large, they were a wee bit nervous around her at first but when they did realize that she was alright and not that scary they sort of relaxed around her and acted more naturally. CeKay also wanted to travel south of a different reason, it was less likely that Morgoth could sense her when she was behind this strange protective barrier of the maia Melian. She had time to think as they rode across the plains towards the huge forest area, she had realized something about the whole situation she was rather sure none other had. Fëanor had sworn the oath to avenge his father, and to bring his jewels back. They were precious to him, and his sons would stay true to the oath because he was their father but she doubted that they at all knew what the silmarils were. She had felt them while she was in Angband and they were nothing like anything she had ever encountered before. 

She started to suspect that Morgoth had coveted them simply because they were made from light, something he couldn’t truly create. Fëanor had been gifted with the ability to create and to an even higher degree than Morgoth himself and the vala had to have been rather jealous. But even Morgoth hadn’t known what the Silmarils were deep within, oh they had burned his hands but she knew that they could have destroyed him if they had wanted to. They had hidden their true power, their true strength and she wondered if they in fact were the seeds of something way greater than what their own creator had thought. Had he in fact been touched by divine inspiration when he made them? They said the Silmarils made people mad and she believed those words, they were simply too much, too strong. They were not of this world, born from it and yet not a part of it. Just like herself. In some way they were like her siblings, born not from the same mind and hands but similar. Her creator had been so much like Fëanor in many ways and she was sure he would have liked the elf had they met. 

On the way they did encounter orcs and other foul beasts but CeKay sensed them from afar and managed to kill them all. She left nothing behind except dead bodies and they travelled fast to avoid detection. The landscape changed, the rather barren land of Hitlum gave way to forests and rolling hills and it got warmer and more fertile. CeKay stored everything she saw in her memory bank and she enjoyed everything she saw. 

As they got closer to Menegroth CeKay could sense a new presence, one strong and firm and yet benign. Angrod was eager, and she knew that his somewhat naïve personality could be viewed by many as a sign of weakness. But he was smart and patient and CeKay knew that this sort of youthful enthusiasm by many would be regarded as charming. It could be a good thing. They were met by the borders of the realm by many guards and CeKay made sure that her appearance was so normal nobody would feel intimidated by her. Angrod was glad his sister had joined them at the last moment and she was regarded as one of the most fair of her race and CeKay knew it was a smart move to bring a female along. That spoke of peaceful intent.  
At first the guards were reluctant to bring them into the kingdom but then a messenger arrived and gave the permission and the group was taken to the capital, the thousand caves.  
CeKay had seen many impressive structures in her existence, but nothing like that. The caves were indeed grand and beautiful and she learned that they had been dug by both elves and dwarves. She hadn’t met any dwarves yet and started to get very curious about this race.

But first things first, they were all brought to the king and his queen and CeKay was even more impressed now. The throne room of Doriath was created in such a manner that the two rulers seated at the dais at the end of it did look even more majestic than what they would otherwise. The roof and the dimensions of the room were slightly warped and it made it look as if they both were giants. It was a very nice little trick and CeKay felt the confidence and power from these two as something almost tangible. Thingol was indeed tall, taller than anyone else she had met so far and very beautiful with long silvery grey hair and blue eyes, he did give a somewhat cold impression though. She saw that Melian appeared to be a more gentle personality but she did suspect that the maia was hiding her full power most of the time. The elves there were sindar and nandor in origin and most were either tall and blonde or a bit shorter and darker of colouring but there were also some rather dark sindar there and CeKay realized that the elves were pretty diverse after all. 

She stayed behind, among the servants who had followed Angrod and his sister and she used her eyes well. Some there were curious about these noldorin elves, others were watching them with a sense of slight hostility. There were a few indifferent faces as well, and some did look as if they found the appearance of these noldor amusing. CeKay could understand it, after the journey across the ice the noldor didn’t have much when it came to finery. The sons of Fëanor did have some nice stuff but not much and Angrod was wearing his best robes but they were plain compared with those of this court. CeKay did see jewels everywhere, and beautiful fabrics, robes which were extremely intricate in design and she realized that this culture was just as advanced as that of the noldor, if not more. It was just different. The warriors did wear leather and green cloth and they did look way more wild and ruthless than the noldorin fighters. CeKay also suspected that they were way better too. These elves had never left middle earth, they had fought every day of their lives and they didn’t take anything for granted. Being suspicious and alert was the key to survival and she doubted that they would just accept the noldor without asking a lot of questions.

Angrod had made an agreement with his brothers and the other noldor that nobody was to say anything about the kinslayings and CeKay felt that her programs did respond rather violently to that suggestion. She had heard of those horrible deeds and knew that it would turn everybody there against them within the blink of an eye and yet she didn’t like dishonesty. But she had yet to learn of the details of these events and she stored everything she had heard for later.  
She saw that Angrod was being welcomed whole heartedly and he and his sister sat by the two rulers for a while, explaining what had happened and why they were there. CeKay used the time to study those around them, a bard of some sort sat not far from the throne with an instrument in his lap and he appeared to be bored but she could see that he was listening the whole time. A very tall silvery haired male stood behind the throne with a dark haired guard who looked as if he could snap an orc in half with his bare hands. The silvery haired one was throwing some glances as Angrod’s sister and he did look a bit stunned. Another tall blonde sinda was obviously discussing something with some slightly smaller elves and a pretty female stood by his side, she appeared to be very taken by every word he was saying. CeKay sensed that this was a very complex society, with rules and laws and alliances and she had no idea of how many elves there were in the city. But it was many, and she was a bit scared when she thought of what their enemy could to if he managed to attack here. 

She and the other servants were showed to some simple and yet nice rooms and CeKay smiled to herself, she didn’t need to sleep but she guessed that she ought to act as if she was flesh and blood, at least for now. Afterwards they were taken to a dining room and she found that the food there was rather nice and mostly based upon plants and herbs and nuts and such. There wasn’t much meat to be found. She knew that Melian had noticed her, that the maia already knew that this female wasn’t an elf at all and she wasn’t surprised at all when a messenger came for her, telling her that the queen wanted to speak to her. 

CeKay followed the elf through many winding corridors and halls and the beauty of this place was overwhelming in many ways. It seemed like a paradise but CeKay did know that every paradise has its own dirty secrets and dangers. Melian was waiting for her in a garden located somewhere near the middle of the city, it was lovely and filled with plants and birds and CeKay did see that the servant left them. They were alone and the tall maia smiled at her and cocked her head, there was a distant expression within the shiny grey eyes and CeKay did see that Melian almost could be taken for a very beautiful elleth but only almost. She was tall and slender and she was glowing slightly. 

She sat down in a couch and gestured for CeKay to join her, CeKay did sit down but she felt a bit uncertain. She could feel the power of the maia as something almost tangible, it made the air shiver and almost buzz around her and she had a hard time accepting that this creature would be unable to avoid some of the things she had seen. Melian sighed and her face was filled with melancholy. “You are not of our kind, not born of the allfather and yet I could feel you when you entered our realm, like I would see a huge beacon, brightly burning. You do know don’t you?” 

The last words were not as much a question as a statement and CeKay nodded hesitantly. “I do, yes” 

Melian took a deep breath. “Then do not think badly of me, or think me weak for wanting some happiness, some joy. What I have makes it all worthwhile, even if it has to end someday.”

CeKay tried to smile, to be honest she had problems understanding but then again, she wasn’t like these beings when it came to emotions. Sometimes she had envied them this gift but now she felt as if she was the lucky one. Her feelings were fleeting and shallow and never left a scar of any kind, they were just ghost programming, made to help her understand but not to affect her logic. “I do not think you are weak my lady, you are very strong”

Melian pulled her rich dark blue robe tighter around her body and looked down. “Not strong enough to change the course of the song, to change the destinies of others. Not even my own”

CeKay had seen it all within the vision the gardener had given her. “Acceptance is strength my lady, the silent adamant type” 

Melian had to grin. “Ah, maybe, but you are here to watch it all unfold, to preserve the past for those yet born. You are here to bring our story into a future so far away even I cannot fathom it, and share it with souls yet unborn, souls of a different world all together” 

CeKay had to frown. “You…are right my lady, that too is my task.”

Melian reached out and touched one of the flowers which hung from the ceiling, it was very delicate and beautiful but it would last only for a few hours naturally. “See this? It has bloomed now for many days, and I have preserved it so that its beauty may be appreciated by many. It is not the way nature would have wanted it, and that is the nature of this realm. We are creating an oasis of peace, a realm of tranquillity among the chaos and havoc of this land and no matter how hard we fight we cannot hide from the truth. The world out there is lethal, and our enemy is the cause of this.” 

CeKay tilted her head. “There would be danger even without him I am sure”

Melian nodded. “Yes, natural danger, the type which befalls us all, mortal or immortal alike. But Melkor, oh his dark sins and desires run so deep, affect so much. “

CeKay squinted. “You knew him?”

Melian nodded. “We all did, he was brother to Manwë and the most powerful of us all and yet he had weakness, and with weakness comes desperation of the deeper and more hidden kind”

CeKay had a stiff grin on her face. “He didn’t like being weak?” 

Melian leaned her head back against the back of the couch, she was a sensual and elegant being and CeKay could very well understand how the king had come to love her. “You can say that again, he hated it. He hated limitations of all sorts, even those within himself. I think that Eru wanted him to evolve, to learn how to see beyond those bonds and find new and better ways but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to change his mind, to think anew, to challenge his views. And thus did he fall” 

CeKay had sensed all of that while she was in Angband and she knew that Melian’s words did back up what the gardener had said. “He isn’t alone”

Melian nodded. “No, he isn’t, Heed my words, you already know this but his most faithful servant will one day rise to become as bad as he is, maybe not as powerful but more deceitful, more cunning. Melkor is not without the skill of seduction, of deceit. He will use it many times but his lieutenant is way worse for he is more patient, and less rigid in his ways”

CeKay made a grimace. “I have seen him, I know.” 

Melian sighed and turned her head around. “Greatness can grow from a single seed, even one seemingly fragile. My kin will live on, as will my blood. Do keep an eye on them for me? The darkness which will come does frighten even me”

CeKay nodded slowly and Melian closed her eyes. “There are yet things I haven’t seen, things I don’t know. They are keeping secrets from us, the newcomers. If I told you to speak up would you do it?”

CeKay shook her head. “No, I cannot. Not that I don’t want to, I simply cannot change history.” 

Melian smiled slowly. “I see, it will be as it must then, for better and for worse.”

Melian rose and her gaze was once more distant. “You will stay here for a while?” 

CeKay nodded. “Yes, to learn of the history of this realm. There is much I don’t know” 

Melian smiled gently. “Then do explore, you have my blessing.” 

CeKay nodded her head and felt strangely relieved. She was glad Melian had welcomed her thus, doing anything good without her blessing would have been hard if not impossible. CeKay returned to the others and found that Angrod had been in a meeting with Thingol, apparently the king was willing to let the noldor keep the area where they had arrived and settled down but negotiations had to be made first. She suspected that those negotiations would be long and hard and not at all easy on the young noldo. His sister sat there by his side and she looked halfway bored and half fascinated. CeKay knew that she was ambitious, and that she had great hopes and plans for herself. Some of those dreams could perhaps come true, although maybe not the way she would have hoped in the first place. 

CeKay took off again, trying to familiarize herself with the place, she wouldn’t get lost for her programming prevented that but it was a maze and someone not familiar with the place could quickly lose their way. Since she was dressed as a servant nobody seemed to notice her and she found the stables and the kitchens and the rooms where injuries were treated. It was all very elegant and the decorations lovely and yet it was primitive in a manner she hadn’t met before she came to this world. She remembered the huge stations hung above the rich and well developed planets belonging to the most advanced races. There even the most foul of injuries could be healed, lost limbs restored and lives pulled back from the very brink of death. She knew that it had made many reckless, almost careless. She had realized that elves are less prone to suffer from infections than humans and yet injury meant pain and a long recovery. These were not reckless beings, their lives could get lost and she was truly thinking about the mystery of the soul and its properties when she entered one of the dining halls.

She did immediately notice some short and stocky looking beings sitting by one of the tables and she realized that these were dwarves. Her curiosity peaked and she saw that they were very different from the elves in almost every way. They were hairy and their features rough and also their clothing were of a different design. CeKay had heard that dwarves were master smiths, and very good at finding precious metals and gems within the very earth itself, that told her they had to be rather advanced in some manners. Their methods could perhaps be seen as primitive but the principles for forging were the same no matter where you are. She counted ten dwarves there, some were dark while others were blonde and a couple were obviously old and their hair and beard white. Right now they were eating and drinking and their table manners were interesting to say the least. She had never seen such use of food as projectiles before and a couple of elven servants stood behind a pillar at the back of the room and looked shocked to say the least. 

CeKay saw that the dwarves were drinking some sort of dark brown liquid with a very pungent smell and she analysed the scent swiftly, it was very strong and she had to grin, they were obviously fond of alcohol but not very sensitive to it. The loud voices and constant belching was not because of intoxication but just a part of how they were and she did see that the metal objects they wore and carried were quite elaborate. The jewellery was lovely but it had a very geometrical design and it looked a bit rigid in lack of better words. The elven jewellery was always flowing and elegant and very natural in style. She was fascinated by the difference and she wondered about the culture of these creatures yet again. 

The noldor she had been with until now hadn’t even met dwarves and the other elves hadn’t spoken that much of the stocky people. She sat down by a bench and pretended to be just relaxing and she listened to the conversation. Most of it was in the common tongue most used but some also spoke in what had to be their own language and it was very complex and odd. CeKay let her translation programs go to work with what she heard and to her astonishment they struggled. The language was a very difficult one and she had to think of other languages which had caused problems. The race inhabiting the Kohshraa system had used a language which consisted of not only sound but also subtle changes in body colouring as well as gestures and just a minor change could change the meaning of it completely. The first who made contact with that race had struggled, a lot! And the Uchai of the Bothru quadrant had used a language based upon smell! That had been a huge obstacle to overcome, in special since that race didn’t have eyes and had no concept of sight. 

These dwarves ignored the elves present and they appeared to be having a good time, CeKay would have wanted to get in contact with them but she had no idea of how. She was afraid of making some sort of mistake and so she decided that she would need some help. She had to find someone who could tell her more and help her avoid crossing any lines or making insults. She got up and left the room, she had yet to speak with any of the citizens of this realm and she was still dressed as a servant. She wondered how they would respond to her true position and her hidden nature but she would prefer to keep that a secret, at least for now. She walked back to the main halls and saw that some of the elves who had followed Angrod had gathered and they were speaking to some locals. She walked over casually, tried to look as non threatening and ordinary as possible and she saw that they did speak to the tall silvery blond male she had seen earlier and he seemed to be explaining things to them.  
She whispered to one of the others. “Who is he?” 

The elf barely turned his head. “Celeborn, nephew of the king. He is the son of Thingol’s brother” 

CeKay stared at the tall ellon, she knew already that he would be important and she was in fact slightly impressed by him. He did look very much like someone who was both brave and intelligent and he was explaining the rules of the city to the newcomers. Apparently there were things you had to be aware of, the gates would be closed every night just in case and everybody had to make themselves useful. You couldn’t just stay there without pulling your weight and CeKay already knew what she wanted to do. If she was to befriend the dwarves her skills and knowledge about metallurgy would be very valuable. The other male she had noticed came walking, he was alone now and she could see that these two had to be relatives, they were rather alike but the other elf was a wee bit taller and more stocky. The servant whispered to her again. “That is Oropher, he is the son of a sister of the king who perished many years ago. He is married and has a very young son” 

CeKay nodded slightly and tried to listen to the things Celeborn was telling, she saw that the servants did pay attention to him and he did have a natural authority and as the kings nephew he probably had some power too. Celeborn ended his speech and left and CeKay felt a bit uncertain of what to do. Angrod was busy in meetings and she guessed that his sister was there too. She did decide to go for a walk towards the gardens and she started to realize that there were a huge number of elves there, many more than she had guessed at first. It was a vast city and she understood why people had to work. She was admiring a huge fountain made from one single block of marble when she heard someone coming up towards her from behind, she didn’t reveal that she could hear the person, she just stood there staring at the carvings. Someone cleared their voice and she pretended to jump slightly before she turned around. It was one of the guards she had seen in the throne room, a very tall strong looking elf with blonde hair and a rather piercing gaze. CeKay held her eyes low, she didn’t want to provoke anyone and she knew that she would have to stay humble to be allowed to stay there. Melian was perhaps the queen but CeKay knew that it meant little if the people of the city disliked her for some reason. The elf cocked his head. “You are wearing a noldo servant’s uniform yet you are no servant.”

CeKay had to grin a little. “You are observant my lord” 

He sort of scoffed. “I am no lord, just a commoner, but you are most uncommon” 

She turned fully towards him. “What makes you say that?”

He seemed to study her. “You are not of our kin, there is something very strange about you, and I can almost see it. Our queen did welcome you so you are no threat but I want to know more!” 

She frowned. “Why?” 

He leaned against the wall. “For it is my job to make sure that everybody here is safe. You are a potential danger until I know more, so I want to figure out who you really are. You are no noldo” 

CeKay sighed, a very dedicated guard then. “You are right, I am no noldo.” 

He frowned. “Melian have met with you, in private. Are you a maia?”

CeKay shook her head. “No, but you may compare me with one” 

He looked intrigued. “Then tell me, are the rumours true?”

CeKay frowned yet again. “What rumours?! There are plenty of those being tossed around so you will have to specify them a bit”

He leaned forth a bit. “Cirdan was here, and he said that the noldor who arrived at Losgar had committed atrocious crimes before they left the sacred land”

CeKay moaned inwards, she made a grimace. “I have no idea of whether or not this is true, for I wasn’t here then”

He looked confused. “Wasn’t here?”

She nodded with a curt little smile. “Yes, I hadn’t entered your world then”

He wetted his lips. “Then you are of Eru indeed. Have you come to aid us against the enemy?”

She shrugged. “Maybe, I have already seen what he can do so I will do whatever I can but my powers are limited and I cannot tell you more. Not without putting the very future in jeopardy.” 

The elf was studying her, the clear eyes were almost scary in a way and she knew that he was a skilled hunter and that he also could kill. She saw it in his gaze, he wouldn’t back away from anything to keep his realm and people safe. It would be needed. “You are an enigma my lady, what is your name?”

She smiled swiftly. “I am CeKay, just that” 

He looked a bit confused. “Is that a name? It is odd”

She had to smile wider. “As is its owner. And you are?”

He bowed his head. “I am Beleg, a marchwarden of Menegroth”

She already knew that this meant that he was a very good warrior and very dedicated to his duty but she had sort of figured that out already. “Pleased to meet you Beleg.” 

He made a sort of smile. “You plan on staying here? Why?”

She sighed and crossed her arms. “To learn, and possibly teach too. I wish to get to know everything I can regarding both your people and that of the dwarves”

He made a coughing sound and she stared at him, innocently. “Did I say anything wrong?”

He shook his head and there was a faint blush on his cheeks. “No, it is just that…well” 

She tilted her head, arms still crossed. “What? Do speak out”

He sighed. “Most of us are not very interested in the dwarves, they are useful trading partners but few does bother with their culture and their history. They weren’t even a part of the song at first” 

CeKay had to enter her memory bank and realized that yes, he was right about that. “The vala Aüle did create them right, because of his impatience” 

Beleg stared at her. “You know so little and yet so much, I cannot completely figure you out”

CeKay stared at him. “Know what, I offer you a deal, here and now. You tell me what I need to know about the dwarves, and I tell you what you want to know about me, at least the things I can tell you” 

He looked eager all of a sudden. “Really? Well, I agree. What do you want to know of the khazad?”

CeKay gestured towards some benches. “Everything! So how about you start with their everyday lives, the most well known facts about them?”

He had to grin and she did see that he was charming too, when he tried to push his warrior personality aside. They went over to the bench and sat down, CeKay smiled and raised an eyebrow and he made a grimace and sort of winced. “Ah, one of the most usual misconceptions about dwarves is that they are all male and are born out of the rock itself” 

CeKay tilted her head. “That would be impossible, no living being does reproduce thus”

He nodded and leaned back, looking a bit more relaxed. “That is right, the dwarves does have females of course but they are so few and so precious to them they are guarded and rarely leave their homes”

CeKay frowned. “How few are we talking about?”

She knew that a race with a very low birth rate was a vulnerable one, in special if the offspring needed many years to grow into adulthood. Beleg shrugged. “Some say that only a third or a fourth of their population are females. And yes, they do have beards but not as large as the males, and they dress very differently too”

CeKay had to grin. “They don’t look as masculine then?” 

He shook his head vigorously. “No, they wear dresses and lots of jewellery and the young ones can be rather pretty. But they are capable fighters if need be, the dams are no fragile flowers”

CeKay stored the information, it could come in handy later on. She looked at him again. “Are they separated into tribes or clans or something like that?” 

Beleg nodded. “Yes, seven, after the first fathers. The most prestigious one are of course the line of Durin but the others do have power too. Dwarves do cooperate well, even when they come from different families.” 

CeKay nodded slowly. “A tightly knit community?” 

Beleg smiled. “One can say that, with great respect for their elders” 

CeKay turned her head. “They are excellent miners, what sort of metals are they digging for?” 

He started telling her of different gems and Mithril and CeKay compared this information with the things she had seen earlier, she started to realize how much of the problems would be brought forth. Dwarves does have an innate love for everything of the earth, and to them all gems are of the earth. It was rather tragic really, when thinking of it. She listened while Beleg told her of the past meetings with this race, of the cooperation which had been necessary to build this city and she knew that this race was very powerful in its own way. Apparently dwarves were hardy and tough and capable of surviving almost anything. She had to giggle and he stared at her, puzzled. “What?” 

CeKay shrugged, having to force herself not to laugh. “Oh, just a memory, of a different world than this.” 

He looked a bit as if he was in disbelief” Another world? One with dwarves?” 

She shook her head, chuckling still. “No, not with dwarves but with something very different. Some sort of very large beings who ate rock, and people would collect their crap for gems and precious metals would be expelled from their bodies instead of being digested”

He just gaped. “Eating rock?!”

She nodded. “Yes, don’t ask me how they did it but they did”

Beleg swallowed. “You said you could be compared to a maia, I now see why. But if not of the ainur then what are you?” 

She took a deep breath, not entirely sure of what to say. “A creation of someone very brilliant, someone capable of creating a different kind of life. I am not flesh and blood, and I guess I am a lot like you elves for I do not age and I am very hard to kill.”

He reached out, touching her hand with obvious curiosity but also the fear of doing something forbidden. The touch was light, gentle, and she allowed it. “Your skin feels natural, warm and soft.” 

She smiled, a somewhat sad smile. “Yes, and yet I am not like you, I was not born from a womb my friend but from a machine. And my thoughts and feelings are…different.”

His eyes got narrow. “And yet you are here, and I feel as if you aren’t that different after all, you do think and feel and you seem to know joy and sorrow just as we do” 

She bowed her head. “That I do yes, they are no strangers to me” 

He got up. “I have to return to my station my lady, but I did appreciate this little chat, I am sure we will meet again”

She just nodded. “We will marchwarden.”

He walked off and she stared at the fountain again. Things would eventually change, the attitude would turn a lot and she sighed and felt an odd sort of anger towards the noldor who kept keeping the kinslayings secret. It would ruin a great opportunity for cooperation and still, she could do naught to prevent it. She closed her eyes, in reality her arms and legs were tied up, the only things she could do now was to ensure that history didn’t run off the tracks and took a new and less desirable path. She had a suspicion that this in some manners would be like herding a huge flock of rabbits and she had to grin again. But the truth, oh the truth was such a hot potato and she tried to understand the reactions she knew would come. Apparently the idea of elves killing other elves was just taboo and she frowned and gathered the information she had already gained about the past events.  
The host of Fingolfin hadn’t been willing to speak that much of it, and she had not spoken that much to any of the elves following Fêanor neither but she needed knowledge, she needed more than she had. If she ever was to give good advice later on she couldn’t if she missed important details. What she did know was of course that Fëanor had asked the teleri elves for ships to take them across the sea and that the teleri had denied them this. Then Fëanor and his followers had tried to take the boats by force and bloodshed had followed, apparently a rather terrible battle if she wasn’t mistaken. But who had started it? She found that the information she had didn’t tell that for sure, was it a follower of Fëanor who had drawn first blood or an enraged teleri sailor? The host of Fingolfin had arrived later, and they too had fought thinking that Fëanor and his sons had been attacked by the sea elves. Did this make them less guilty? She had no idea and she knew that these deeds could not be undone.

She got up and felt restless, almost a bit frantic. She needed something to do and so she walked towards the area of the city where people worked their crafts. She saw many shops and rooms where elves made everything from pottery to clothing and she stopped by a shop where a female elf sat weaving what had to be flax. CeKay immediately saw that the weave was a good one but a few small changes could turn the fabric into something much more appealing and way more luxurious. The cloth everybody wore there was good, it was very light and nicely coloured too but it had the potential of becoming so much nicer and she took a deep breath and knew that this was it. If she was to be accepted and liked by these elves she had to give them a reason to.

She bowed her head to the weaving elleth and the elf sent her a curious smile. “How may I help you my lady?”

CeKay had noticed that the language most elves there used was a different one than the one the noldor used but her language bank had already switched and her Sindarin was if not flawless then at least understandable. “ I do need some clothes, a dress perhaps, and a cape, but I have nothing to offer as payment except from some new knowledge about weaves”

The elleth frowned. “New knowledge about weaves?”

CeKay nodded and pointed at a roll of freshly woven fabric. “Look at that, now, imagine that this fabric could be so much more smooth, and a lot thinner, and yet as strong as before. Wouldn’t that make your products very sought after?”

The elleth looked puzzled. “Indeed they would my lady, but how? These weaves are the best we have”

CeKay stared at the contraption and had to grin slightly, it was a good design when making rugs, but for fine fabrics it was way too rough. She nodded towards the fire place. “Find me a burned twig and some leather, I can show you” 

Before long CeKay did draw a very intricate description of a way more elaborate weave, and the elleth was staring with huge eyes and she understood the concept immediately and was beside herself with eager energy. “Oh, that is something the wood carvers could make, easily, and those metal rods I can get from the forges. This is brilliant!”

CeKay felt a thrill running through her, she couldn’t change history but by the maker of the universe, she could do things like these, small favours which in turn could transform the everyday life into something a bit easier, and maybe even safer. It would make her respected by the elves here, and even more so, she would be trusted and get whatever information she needed. She made some more drawings of the weave and its parts and how they were to be assembled and the elleth ran off immediately, CeKay doubted that much time would pass before the inhabitants of this realm would get cloth of a way greater quality. 

The day was coming to an end and CeKay returned to her room to go through the events, she didn’t need sleep but she knew that she ought to at least pretend to be resting in order to fit in. She felt a bit giddy, while she was there she was going to make sure that these elves learned a lot of new stuff and if she played her cards well also the dwarves would benefit from her vast knowledge. She decided that the wood workers would be the next she would visit, there were lots of things she could teach them as well for she had not seen any furniture which indicated that they knew how to use steam and pressure to form wood and she grinned widely as she entered resting mode. Tomorrow would be a good day, there was trouble brewing yes, but for now things were peaceful, she could enjoy this brief break and share her knowledge and it was a good thought. She could make herself useful, as something more than a warrior, as someone capable of creating things of beauty.


	9. In plain sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CeKay adapts to life in Doriath but things are changing, battles are fought and new enemies emerge....

Chapter 9: In plain sight….

 

CeKay was very pleased with her achievements. After some short months she had managed to teach quite a lot of elves new things and new ways to get stuff done. She had vastly improved the quality of the cloth woven there, she had also taught them quite a lot about how to extract certain chemicals from plants and other things and she was now eagerly readying herself for the carpenters area of the city. She had a mission and it felt surprisingly good. She spent her free time accessing her memory banks, digging forth old methods of creating things and it was more fun than she had expected. 

Her success with the cloth had given her a name already, some thought she was a maia while others firmly believed that she was some sort of blessed elleth, sent from the valar to help them all. Anyhow, she was treated with respect and she tried to be kind and respectful in return. Since she knew so much about chemistry she was able to show them how to develop new and interesting colours with which to dye the new fabrics and soon the place became even more colourful than before. The wood workers were a stubborn bunch who firmly believed that their methods were the best and that she didn’t have much new to show them but they were wrong. She had already managed to talk some of the blacksmiths into creating a steam chamber in which pieces of wood could be heated and prepared for shaping and she had tested it herself. 

The demonstration she did was a roaring success, soon she had to explain even more and before long new furniture began to pop up everywhere, with shapes before unseen anywhere. It felt good knowing that she made things easier and yet she knew it would all end. She just didn’t know when. Being there she was effectively cut off from receiving any news from up north, and that did bug her not to a small extent but some sacrifices had to be made. She kept herself busy most of the time and many came to her asking for advice of different kind.   
From wood working she now set her eyes on those working with pottery, also there she had new information to bring and she spent some winters teaching them about techniques which improved the quality of ceramics a lot. She also showed them how to make ceramic arrowheads which were strong and sharp and yet not brittle and she was starting to wonder if she could start to talk about armour in a similar manner. Some of the special forces she had come by had worn a sort of intelligent armour which could change its properties according to the situation at hand. That would of course be impossible to achieve here where that sort of technology was impossible to replicate but she had some ideas.   
The smiths already knew of her and wanted her advice and she gave it gladly, by now she had become an integrated part of the city but she did see that many still treated Angrod and Galadriel and the other noldor with suspicion. She couldn’t do anything about that but she hoped that the suspicions wouldn’t turn into hostility. Sooner or later the truth would come forth as it always does and she knew that the king did have a temper and that he also had his own very adamant beliefs. 

CeKay was busy with metallurgy for some years, she was teaching and yet she learned a lot and the dwarves who visited soon did notice her and they treated her with both respect and a bit of confusion. To them it was odd that a female would care about such matters. She even started making jewellery but she stayed clear of making gems. She already knew that such actions could be frowned upon later so she used only natural ones, even if the ones she could have made would have been way more dazzling. She wondered how Fëanor had managed to come by this art, he had to have been extremely talented and yet a bit mad in some ways. He didn’t sound like a person who cared much for the consequences of what he did and that made her think of him as a person way too driven by his own ambitions. 

She often spoke with Melian and she did notice that the queen had taken quite a liking to Artanis, Angrod’s sister. Now they called her Galadriel since Celeborn had given her that name and CeKay sort of sensed something in the air between those two. She couldn’t be too sure but she felt that these two possibly could become more than just good friends. CeKay often joined the court in hunts and other activities and she found great joy in their simple way of living. But everything wasn’t sunshine and flowers. The girdle was attacked every day almost by orcs and other foul creatures and the marchwardens and their warriors were kept busy all the time. CeKay tried to avoid fighting, she knew that the enemy had eyes and ears everywhere and she didn’t want to draw attention to herself, nor the realm which sheltered her.   
Sometimes elves from the areas around the girdle would come by and they were welcome there, she now saw elves of other tribes and some were avari and rather primitive looking. She learned about the sundering and the way the elves had split apart earlier and she realized that Thingol had regarded Finwë as a brother and that the truth about the departure from Valinor could trigger some rather violent reactions. 

CeKay had finished teaching some ellith about the art of using minerals to create good dye when she heard an alarm and she immediately knew that something was up. She told the young ladies that they could leave and then she ran off to see what the fuss was about. When she arrived she saw that some of the warriors had gathered in the throne room, some avarin elves were there too and they seemed to be in despair, she did see some ellith among them and judging from the gestures and the crying something rather serious had happened. Thingol tried to calm everybody down and Melian stood there looking confused. A tall avarin warrior managed to shush everybody and he told with a loud and clear voice that their village had been attacked and that several ellith and elflings had been taken by the enemy. 

CeKay cringed, she could just imagine what the orcs would do to prisoners and she saw that Thingol was facing a dilemma. She took a deep breath, would they leave these poor elves to their horrible fate or would the king take action. The attack had been outside of the girdle and she already knew that he was a bit of an isolationist. Melian appeared to whisper something to him rather fast and he nodded almost imperceptibly, then he raised a hand. “Those of you who wish to aid these elves in recovering their kin may do so, but I will not order anyone to leave.” 

Some of the warriors did grumble a bit but several gathered and CeKay tried to analyse the sensation she got. They could very well be heading into a trap and she took a deep breath and stepped forth as well, they would need her and if she managed to camouflage herself the enemy could perhaps be tricked into believing that there was nothing out of the ordinary happening. She hadn’t ridden her horse for a while and as she walked towards the armoury she felt some sort of anticipation. By protecting them all she did repay them for the kindness and trust everyone had placed in her and she decided to fight and fight mean. Orcs were not worthy of any sort of mercy and she got some good weapons of the new design she had taught them and pulled on some light armour. With it on she looked just like an ordinary elleth and she made a grim smile as she joined the others outside of the gates. Beleg was the one to lead the group and CeKay followed the elves silently.   
The village was in a narrow valley not far from the border and it was completely demolished, everything burned or torn apart and there had been some deaths. She felt the anger and sorrow of these elves as something almost physical and swore to herself that the orcs responsible would die horribly. They left their horses at the village since the area ahead was thick forest and CeKay saw that the scouts had found the tracks rather easily. Beleg warned them all that this was a sure sign of a trap, the orcs could have tried to cover their tracks otherwise and CeKay was grinning to herself. Without being noticed she slipped away from the group and ran through the trees ahead of them all. She was faster than anyone else and went into camouflage mode. 

Now she couldn’t be seen as anything else than a faint shimmering in the air and she cursed the fact that she was wearing clothes and armour. Had she been naked she could have become even less visible but that wasn’t possible now. She switched to infrared vision and saw heat up ahead, the orcs had planned an ambush. There were orcs hidden within a small gorge with rocky sides and at the end of it some elflings were held as a sort of bait, tied to a tree. The poor little ones were terrified and a couple were wounded and she growled as she tried to come up with a plan. The elflings were her first priority, they had to get out of there before they could get even more hurt and she ran around the gorge and entered from the top, behind the orcs. There were more orcs at the top but they weren’t that alert and she could slip by them easily. She slid down the tree and knew that the elflings were unable to control themselves the way an adult warrior would, if they saw her they would react and that would give her presence away so she gathered her energy and sent small jolts of it into their heads, making them pass out. 

The orcs didn’t notice and CeKay then did something which required both skill and insane amounts of energy. She created a simple and yet realistic hologram of the elflings before she grasped them and camouflaged them as well. To the orcs they were still there and she carried the little ones with her into the trees. She was feeling tired when she was done, being a part of this world had somehow limited her possibilities but she wasn’t going to give up yet. She hid the elflings in a hollow tree and marked it with hidden elven runes before she returned to the gorge. The warriors were not far away and the orcs were eager for more slaughter. In fact they could barely control themselves and CeKay wished that she could have laughed as she sent forth a hologram of some elven warriors. The orcs immediately fired their crude arrows at the elves they saw and hit their brethren on the other side of the gorge and a veritable battle started, both sides believed that they were being attacked by elves and when Beleg and the others arrived there were few orcs left unscathed and the elves had heard them from afar. The surprise was gone and the elves did kill off the orcs with ease. CeKay didn’t want the elves to know that she was the reason why the orcs had killed each other, she just stayed hidden and she was soon in hot pursuit of the remaining orc and their prisoners. They obviously believed that the group they had left behind would be able to stop anyone following them for they had slowed down and didn’t do much to hide their tracks anymore. CeKay was appalled to see that they had killed a couple of the grown elves they had captured, probably through torture and she felt a sort of simmering rage starting to grow within.

These creatures were an abomination in more ways than one and she remembered Angband and its horrors. The elves would catch up with this pack soon enough but she didn’t want to risk the lives of her friends so she decided to change the odds a bit. The cruelty of the orcs was beyond description and she felt no pity for them whatsoever, being cruel in return was just righteous in her eyes. She released some nanites, not many but enough and they started to replicate themselves very fast using the elements they could find at the site. The orcs were moving forth but the pace was slow and thus she laid a trap ahead of them. It was a small area which seemingly was covered with a thin mist along the ground, quite normal in this dense forest. Nobody would find anything odd about that at all. But as the orcs entered the mist and breathed it in it started to wreak havoc within their lungs. CeKay could still control the nanites and they ripped the fragile lung tissue apart with frightening speed. The orcs stopped, coughing blood and gasping for air and when the troop lead by Beleg arrived moments later the orcs were on the ground, writhing in agony and barely breathing. 

The elves did finish the orcs off rather fast, then freed the surviving prisoners and started marching back to Menegroth, many needed healers and she knew that some of the elves were in danger of fading from their ordeal. CeKay made sure that the elflings were found too, and nobody did understand how they had ended up in a tree like that, and in special one marked with runes but she wouldn’t be the one to tell, they were saved and that was all she cared about. She knew that elves were tougher than most other races physically but psychological damage could kill them. She joined the troop again, and nobody did notice that she had been gone, she just slid back among the other soldiers and they were so busy they didn’t react to her presence at all. The march back to the city was a fast one, many were carried and she knew that Beleg was worried, an attack this close to the girdle meant that the orcs had become very bold and that something had to be done. They couldn’t stuff every elf in Beleriand into the protected area, it wasn’t room nor food enough for everyone and the lack of freedom would not be appreciated neither. Thingol didn’t like the idea of troops leaving his realm and CeKay could only hope that the noldor elves truly were spreading out and establishing strongholds. Their help could be needed if they were to keep the orcs at bay. 

CeKay had taught the healers some new tricks as well, she knew a lot about most of the races she had encountered and the elves were in basic human when it came to their physical being but it was as if they were made from some other more durable matter. The healers started working on the wounded right away and CeKay retreated to her rooms, she needed to think. The girdle was a strong protection but was it enough? Could she do something to strengthen it? She was thinking hard about her options and they weren’t really that good, she could of course release nanites and they would reproduce and over time they could form a sort of defence but that meant that they had to be separate units, not controlled by her. That in turn meant that the enemy could get his hands on them if something went wrong. She doubted that the fallen vala was clever enough to understand that sort of hi tech but what if he was? At least he would understand that he was dealing with something out of this world and that in itself would be bad. No, it had to be something else, something nobody would be able to trace back to her. She sat down in her armchair, nibbling at an apple. She didn’t need to eat but she had found that she liked to, simply because of all the different smells and flavours which were out there. She had grown very fond of wine for her palate was so fine she could distinguish between flavours nobody else were able to trace and she also enjoyed different spices a lot. 

She had to smile when remembering the food of some of the cultures she had come across. The Hurumgai of the Asceran system had enjoyed a dish made from the eggs of a local type of fish, found only on the moon of one of the larger gas planets in that quadrant. The eggs were the size of a human skull, mostly just jelly with the consistency of an old booger and they were left to ferment until very few species except the hurumgai could tolerate the smell. It was said that you always would know the moment a hurumgai ship had docked onto some space station, the smell would spread like wildfire. To them the eggs were an exquisite delicacy which was expensive and a symbol of status but to all others the dish was so horrible some races defined it as a biological weapon of mass destruction and forbid it from being brought into their quadrant. And the Xha’khng of Ishtab, they had a dish which supposedly tasted so good the overflow of endorphins created in the brain actually killed anyone eating it. The race who had discovered it could survive but no other races would and it was used only in very elaborate religious ceremonies since it would trigger a sort of deep ecstasy which enabled them to see visions of the future. CeKay had to smile, it was almost a smile of melancholy. She had no idea of whether or not these cultures would survive or not, if they would grow and thrive or if they would perish into the dark night which was the universe. 

She sat there thinking when she heard a tiny sound and she frowned and turned around, the rooms in this city were not very sealed off, and there were nooks and crannies everywhere. In a corner she saw something small move and she saw that it was a mouse. A tiny soft and fluffy little being occupied with searching for food for itself and its offspring. The mouse was a rare shade of brown mixed with red and beige and it was very cute. CeKay tilted her head, it was tiny, in fact extremely small even for a mouse and if she hadn’t had ears better than anyone else she wouldn’t have noticed that it was there. Mice were not anything people did think about, they were there alright but nobody cared unless they got too many and became a pest. CeKay stared at the tiny rodent, her mind was working overtime. The mouse sat there grooming itself for a moment before it continued its frantic search for food and CeKay knew that there were mice everywhere. An idea did take form and she suddenly knew how she could help keeping the realm safe. 

She sat down onto the floor and stared at the tiny mouse, doing this wouldn’t be easy in any way but she knew she could do it. The mouse didn’t react to her presence, she didn’t smell like a predator and she knew how to mask herself even to animals. The tiny animal had a very simple mind, its brainwaves told her that and it was thinking first and foremost about its basic needs, food, water, shelter, safety. CeKay beaconed the mouse to come closer, it felt an irresistible pull but none of its instincts told of danger so it obeyed and CeKay did reward it with some crumbs from the delicious honey cake she had eaten. Her body could process food when she was in this elven form and she had found that she in fact found the workings of this nearly biological body fascinating. She had played around with it a bit, synthesized hormones and other substances and watched their effect upon it and thus she had learned a lot. But this mouse was so much more complex biologically and she didn’t want to harm the cute little rascal. She gently shaped new instincts and implanted them into its brain and then she imprinted a new urge within it, an urge to bring its kin to this place. She also increased its intelligence but not too much, just enough to make sure that it would survive for a wee bit longer than usual. CeKay felt an odd tenderness towards the hairy little life, it was so innocent and pure and not even Morgoth had bothered tampering with creatures as insignificant as mice. The mouse got some more crumbs and scurried off, eager to bring this wonderful food to its family. 

Over the next days mice started arriving in CeKay’s room and she altered them all, their minds now held some hidden commands and unless they were triggered the mice would go on living their ordinary lives just like before. She wouldn’t have to use any energy controlling them and they wouldn’t go rogue like nanites sometimes were prone to do. CeKay then did up her efforts, she started to do the same with other animals. Some did notice that there suddenly were more squirrels than normal in the city and the tiny brown birds which searched for bugs in the bushes were also seen rather often. She was thinking about using bugs too but they didn’t have a mind and so she forgot about that idea. Her influence spread, squirrels and birds, badgers and mice and other animals too. They all became her silent sentinels, her servants and yet they were oblivious to the fact that their minds had been hijacked somehow. She made sure that they would thrive and live good lives within the woods and if anyone did notice they didn’t say anything. 

She now had a network of spies and if something of a sinister nature did approach the realm she would know immediately. She was told that the sons of Fëanor had created realms of their own and that fortresses and stronghold were being built, she did get some hope hearing this but she also feared that the enemy could use new and unknown methods with which he could split them apart and weaken the defences. That the noldor had gathered and held a great feast to celebrate the reunion of their leaders was of course a good thing but she somehow doubted that the peace would last. The burden of the oath lay too heavily upon the family of Fëanor and she knew it would bring even more death and destruction in the future. 

She did notice some changes within the realm now, it was rather obvious that Celeborn was rather taken with Galadriel and that he was trying to woo her and CeKay had to admit that she found these strange rituals and customs of the elves rather intriguing. It was very obvious that this race took this kind of thing very seriously and that they didn’t take any chances when it came to finding a spouse and she already knew that the golden haired maiden was interested but she tried very hard to pretend that she was not. It was a game as old as time itself and CeKay knew that Celeborn already had been hooked and now Galadriel was reeling him in, slowly. It was like a slow and deliberate dance and CeKay knew that elves did court slowly, it was wise and she often sought out the huge library the king had gathered and tried to store as much information as she could. She read through as many books as possible and she was kept rather busy most of the time. She knew that Galadriel spent much time with Melian and was taught by her and also the daughter of the king and queen was often seen at court. 

CeKay knew that Luthien was regarded as being very beautiful even among the elves and she realized that the princess was being a bit overprotected. She was half maia after all and CeKay sensed what few others did, the young one was very powerful, more so than anyone could guess. At the moment the young half maia seemed to be satisfied with life within Doriath but CeKay had seen what was to come, it was both grand and tragic at the same time. 

The dwarves who had visited rather often didn’t come as often anymore, some said that they were involved in some secret project somewhere and CeKay sensed that the noldor had something to do with it. But now news started to arrive claiming that the noldor were rallying against Morgoth and that they soon would attack Angband. CeKay felt torn for a while. She wanted to participate and do as much good as possible and yet she didn’t really want to leave Doriath. She didn’t know if she would be welcome back if she did leave but she felt that there wasn’t much choice after all. She couldn’t change the course of history by fighting but she could save lives and so she did more or less sneak out one quite night and rode hard towards the north. This time she did cloak both herself and the horse and she used all his speed for all it was worth. She reached the first encampment in a very short time and realized that Morgoth had tried to split the noldor by sending orcs into their realms and thus blocking them off from each other. But the elves had proved to be smarter than he had anticipated and the orcs were driven back by the combined forces of all the elven leaders. Cavalry pursued the orcs relentlessly and she saw that this in fact could lead to victory. 

She found the camp of Fingolfin and he was stunned when he saw her again, she hadn’t changed naturally enough and he was thrilled to see that she had come to fight with them. CeKay didn’t want to reveal that she was more than an elf, she would fight with blades like the others there but she wouldn’t tire and she had a greater understanding of the orc’s and their capabilities than the others by now. She knew how their minds worked and thus she came up with a strategy of her own. She prepared carefully and as they rode out the next morning she had camouflaged her silvery steed as an ordinary brown horse. She had been given a rather anonymous uniform by Fingolfin and she hid her hair and her face with a helmet. Maedhros and his army were pushing the orcs forth from the other direction and the orcs were in fact fleeing towards the Thangorodrim but they were not as fast as the elves and would be caught. CeKay didn’t follow the troops, she had her own agenda now and she soon realized that it was very efficient. She went for the officers, the leaders. Orcs are like sheep, they follow where the chief goes and when there wasn’t anybody to give orders they scattered and became easy prey. 

She hid among the other elven warriors and attacked suddenly, out of the blue. Raced forth much faster than normal and killed with surgical precision. A swift flash of something brown and shiny and then an orc captain laid there headless and nobody had had the time nor the level headedness to see what had happened. The orcs started to become more and more paranoid, the other elves did see that this tactic was valid and started to copy her and before long the orc army was in reality defenceless. The orcs had become a terrified herd instead of a well organized army and the elves drove them forth relentlessly. CeKay enjoyed herself, she knew she was efficient and since there wasn’t anything about her which set her apart from the others she knew that the enemy probably wouldn’t suspect that she was there. She had taught the cavalry some of her tricks now and they were so in tune with their horses it was no problem copying the techniques. She also invented new and better protection for the steeds and as they closed in on Angband the number of orcs dropped drastically by the hour. The orcs did try to fight back, it was in their blood so to speak but when they didn’t act organized it wasn’t really a huge problem. Some elves got injured and some killed but fewer than expected and CeKay seemed to be everywhere. She guided the healers and helped rescue the wounded and the last orcs were slaughtered within sight from Angband. CeKay knew that the elves had wounded the moral of the orcs, that it would take time before the armies of Angband would dare to burst forth again. 

There was a celebration and the elves built strongholds and fortresses to put Angband under siege. CeKay sensed that this peace would last for a while but not forever, the forces of the dark lord would regroup again and become strong. She did participate in some of the building, gave advice to the stone masons and the other workers and made sure that the fortresses didn’t have weak points. Many there wondered who she was but she didn’t stay to answer questions, she just moved on, always busy. Fingolfin was very grateful and wished to honour her in every way possible but she didn’t want attention. She just slipped away from the camps and disappeared and by now she sort of knew that the dark lord himself was absent. She could sense it, the sort of heavy dark feeling she got when she looked towards the huge fortress was gone. It still felt bad and just wrong but its main source of power was gone. She didn’t like it even a bit. 

She returned to Doriath after having ridden through much of Beleriand, sometimes hidden and sometimes in plain view, she needed to get a real impression of the situation and she encouraged the elves she met to take caution and build stronger homes and to stay alert. She was welcomed by Melian, CeKay had been absent for some years since she had taken her time exploring the lands and the queen was visibly upset. Things had been calm within the realm these past years since the great battle which had become known as the Dagor Aglareb but Galadriel had at last told Melian of the Silmarils. CeKay cringed, she knew that naught good would come from this and she hadn’t even seen a silmaril but she did share her suspicions with the maia. She believed that the silmarils weren’t as much created as allowing themselves to take form and Melian did agree. It was possible that these gems in fact were some sort of sentient entity, perhaps even ainur in a shapeless form and that their powers were too great for anyone to control.   
Melian was very worried about the consequences of Morgoth having acquired all three of them, she feared that they would be turned into horrible weapons but CeKay remembered her stay in Angband and knew that the power of the three gems had been somehow subdued. She hadn’t sensed them that much. They had probably been shiny and pretty and all that but their true nature had been hidden, even from Morgoth. They didn’t want the dark lord to know of their true potential and Melian found some solace in that. 

CeKay had been missed by many and she soon returned to her previous work, teaching the elves as much as possible. She was glad to see that they had taken her teachings seriously and that much had changed and they had even taken the weaving a step further and created cloth she had a hard time believing was real. Luthien had fallen in love with a sort of very sheer blue silk and she wore gowns made from that almost all the time. CeKay did also teach the young warriors some defensive techniques and how to defend themselves without weapons, she could of course crush rocks if she wanted to but she did see that these young ones had potential and some training did hone their skills a lot. Galadriel and Celeborn were still sort of circling each other like two hungry cats around a bowl of hot porridge and she found it amusing. 

Then Thingol found out about the kinslayings and the whole truth of the noldor’s arrival in middle earth and he became extremely angry. He forbade them all to have more contact with the noldor and quenya was forbidden. Nobody was allowed to use that language. CeKay saw that many now started to treat the few noldor present with open hostility and most did leave but Galadriel stayed, even though she was looked upon with suspicion now. It really hurt her and CeKay wished that there was something she could have done to help but she had to just watch and hope that things would change. The realm became more closed off than ever before and not even messengers were allowed in but some news did slip by anyhow. Elves living outside of the girdle did have some contact with the noldor and told of the odd disappearances which had started to occur. Elves seemed to vanish into thin air and CeKay knew that hidden cities had been built, meant to act as safe havens. 

Now the dwarves started to return and CeKay began to slowly make contact with them again, she was still curious and their culture was fascinating but she did notice a change in them. They seemed to be more alert than before and less trusting and she realized that they too probably had felt the power of the dark lord somehow. Attacks by orcs could kill even strong dwarves and she knew that they were proud like few others. The trade did grow back to its old level but very slowly and through the dwarves they did get some new about the things which happened in the rest of Beleriand. Apparently Maedhros had recovered from his imprisonment pretty well, and he was fighting just as fiercely as before with a sort of blade attached to his right arm where his hand had been. They said that orcs fled in horror whenever he showed up. Fingon did visit him rather often and rumours said that they were more than just friends and cousins. CeKay didn’t care, she was glad the tall redhead had overcome the trauma, it was really amazing that he had. 

The fortress of the dark lord was under tight siege but still attacks happened every now and then, most were driven back by the elves and it seemed as if the powers of darkness had diminished somehow. CeKay knew that the leader was somewhere else, those in charge of Angband weren’t as strong as him, nor as clever and thus the siege could continue. But changes were on the way, she sensed it. Sometimes she did leave Doriath again and rode out and she realized that Morgoth by now had seen that orcs weren’t that reliable after all. They weren’t enough. The peace and quiet simply meant that he was trying to conjure up something new and terrible and she did sometimes travel pretty close to the fortress to see if she could find something useful. She couldn’t see anything but she did smell something on the air now, something unknown to her. 

In Doriath she witnessed how Galadriel and Celeborn still were friends even though Thingol didn’t like it, he sort of hated the noldor and regarded her with suspicion even if Melian still trusted her and taught her much. CeKay knew that the noldorin maiden was important and she tried to shield her from the worst gossip by making sure that people had other things to consider instead. The avarin elves sometimes visited to trade and CeKay did learn a lot about their culture and she also visited them sometimes and she was always welcome. The sons of Fêanor had created their own little kingdoms and not all she heard of them was good. They were seen as greedy and the way they cut down forests for wood and pastures was not seen as very good by the avari. CeKay agreed, they didn’t think of the consequences but she did understand the situation. Now that Angband was under control they needed to reinforce their strongholds and make sure that everything was ready for the day when the siege broke, for sooner or later it would. The orcs were breeding in there and nobody doubted that the smithy’s were warm and weapons being forged all day long. Everybody prepared for war but what came forth was something nobody had anticipated. 

CeKay had seen many terrible creatures in her existence, some benign and others not but the monster which attacked Ard Galen was beyond anything she had seen so far. It was a fire breathing behemoth and it possessed great magic too. She realized that the dark lord had spent a lot of time creating this monstrosity, and that it probably was just the first of many. The beast was driven back to its evil layer but many died and CeKay suddenly was faced with a new challenge, how do you treat burns on the battle field. She started to explore the possibilities which existed and knew that she had to work fast. The dragons would be used for all they were worth and this one had been young and probably not even fully grown. Glaurung as the beast became known as had been a terrible foe and one much more powerful than any host of orcs. CeKay wondered if she would have been able to kill it, she probably could but she feared that it would cost her much of her strength. No, a dragon like that could probably only be killed with very special means and she knew from her visions that such weapons would be forged. Destiny was rolling on, unstoppable as a runaway cart down a steep hill and she knew that she just had to hang on for the ride. Come what may, she had to witness it all, one day her knowledge would be needed.


	10. Fire in the night.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CeKay goes to explore and find more than she expected...and a new friendship may be forged.

Chapter 10: Fire in the night

The newcomers did change a lot, in fact they changed the very way most saw the world and CeKay had a hard time hiding the fact that she had come across humans before. It was odd that also this world would harbour such creatures and from what she was told they were exactly like the ones she had come across before. This creator were either a huge copycat sort of snatching the ideas of others and making them his own or maybe some designs were just universal and repeated themselves all over the place. The elves who told of the second born and their arrival to Beleriand were stunned by their appearance and their behaviour and last but not least the fact that they seemed to live for just a very short span of time. They seemed to fade away in some manner, as if their bodies gave up after a few decades and fell apart.   
The elves of Doriath were discussing these news day in and day out and CeKay had to laugh at some of the crazy assumptions that were made. The fact that the males had hairy chins made many shake their heads in disbelief for what could possibly be the purpose of that? And the females could have a new baby almost every year? Now that was outrageous, and it had to be just exaggerations. Surely they meant one for each decade? The great Eru couldn’t possibly have meant for his second born to breed like rabbits?

Apparently Galadriel’s brother Finrod had met the humans and their chief named Beör and he had convinced them that he was a vala and a few of the marchwardens claimed that this was proof that the secondborn had to be rather daft for who could possibly mistake an elf, even a half noldo half vanyar one for a vala?! That triggered quite a few hefty discussions for what could the one possibly have wanted when he created these creatures. They weren’t superior to the elves, that was for sure for from the looks of it they died very easily, they even got sick from the smallest things imaginable. Could it be that they had some form of hidden powers? Some said yes and others no and the atmosphere of friendly bickering did at least prevent boredom. 

CeKay was still monitoring the borders, her little army of furry spies did their job very well and she even hired birds and trees. The elves had a deep connection with nature but she did take it to a new level. She could tap into the electrical signals which travelled from tree to tree through their roots, to her the entire forest was one huge brain, every living being interconnected with the others and she would know the second something was off, even if it was miles away. The last years had been rather tough on her, she wanted to do something, to make a difference but she had to walk such a fine line and she had gotten a rather bad feeling when she heard of the arrival of the humans. She knew this race well, they were resilient, brave and admirable but also vain, stupid at times and easy to persuade. If the enemy managed to get them onto his side they could all be in trouble. 

She had also worried about this new threat, the dragons. They had to have been animals once and then Morgoth had sort of warped them into something new and terrifying and she wondered how they were to fight these things. They had to have weak spots, she was damn sure that Morgoth had tried his best to eliminate that but there is always that one little detail nobody really think about. If it had been possible she would have wanted to catch one alive, to sort of check it out but as it were that was impossible and the dragon they all were talking about, Glaurung was way too dangerous to approach without any real information. There was magic involved, that was the only thing she did know for sure and with her lack of understanding when it came to that concept an attempt at attacking the thing was sure to end with disaster. 

As it were the current situation within Doriath had an almost sinister quality in some ways, since Thingol found out about the kinslayings and the whole mess which had lead to the noldor returning to ennorath things had changed a lot. Celeborn and Galadriel were having huge problems for Thingol didn’t like that his nephew had any contact with the noldor and least of all a relative of Fëanor. He hadn’t told them to stay away from each other in public but everybody knew that he would prefer it if Galadriel left Menegroth for good. The language of the noldor had been forbidden and nobody were to even mention the sons of Fëanor and their deeds. CeKay knew that this was what the crew on the ship she arrived on would call a real cock block situation. She did pity them both but there was little she could do about it. 

Angband was under siege now and thus the areas which previously had been too dangerous to inhabit were now a lot safer. There were fortresses and strongholds built everywhere and everybody were trying to gather as much strength as possible in anticipation of a counter attack. Orcs still roamed the lands though and through the messengers and the birds CeKay learned of how the edain suffered great losses against the monsters of Morgoth. The borders of the kingdom were attacked too rather regularly and the guards had more than enough to do. CeKay had gotten a feeling of being restless, why she didn’t know and she wanted to leave the kingdom again and explore the areas she hadn’t visited yet. She felt that it could be wise but she had no idea why, at least not yet. But she chose to wait, for some reason she knew that it wasn’t time for that just yet. 

The life within the city had become easier in so many ways, her inventions had helped create so much new and many new and exciting ideas and so she dedicated her time and mind to helping the elves create even better tools and weapons. She knew that this time of peace would end for peace was something very fragile and sooner or later the dark lord would break the siege and she was pretty sure that it would be very sudden and also very violent. Then they managed to capture some orcs and even if the creatures spoke unwillingly and little it was rather clear that the dark lord in fact had been absent from Angband for years now. Why nobody knew and CeKay realized that this was her clue. She had to get out there and find out what this was all about. She left the kingdom early one morning and rode to the east, it was an area she hadn’t really explored yet and she took very little with her. She didn’t need anything really and she wanted to travel fast. She knew that this world was way larger than just the areas she had visited before and so she decided to explore as much as she could, while she had the chance. 

The journey made her realize that the power of the enemy was wide spread, there wasn’t any area where there wasn’t a trace of him and she felt more and more angry and more and more determined to help putting an end to all this. She had reached the mountains to the south east when she first encountered something new, and she immediately knew that also this was something the dark lord had conjured up. She had taken refuge in a narrow gorge and sat there resting when she did sense that she was being watched. She didn’t fear anything, after all, few creatures could truly harm her but she didn’t like the feeling of insecurity. It was more than one being and she could feel that this was something dangerous. She got curious, created an illusion and did sneak out of the way. She had hidden her horse in a groove of trees and the steed didn’t need to move at all so there was little chance of it being discovered. Before long some odd creatures did appear, and CeKay had to blink to believe what she was seeing. These were the most malformed and mangled forms of life she had ever encountered. It was odd really that they were alive for she saw boils and sores and they were oozing puss. 

If she hadn’t known better she would have guessed that these were the sad victims of radiation, she had seen something rather similar although not so bad when the ship she had been on ran into an old abandoned freighter. The huge ship had been drifting between the stars for centuries and it had ended up in an area where nobody ever went so it hadn’t been picked up by the crews who took care of wrecks and transformed the scrap metal into new and useable material. The ship had a leaking power core, that was probably why it had been abandoned by the crew but it wasn’t empty. In fact it had been crawling with life for it had been transporting several species of livestock for the outer planets of the original system and the massive cargo hull had over time become a complete ecosystem all on its own. The ship had power still, and water and light and the amount of mutated beasts had in fact looked a bit like these things, although not so grotesque. 

There was some intelligence in these beings, but it was vile and twisted and just wrong and CeKay had no idea of what their origin could have been. They were surely the products of Morgoth and his will and she realized that these were goblins but so much more twisted than the ones she had seen before. It was probably the result of inbreeding and isolation and she felt that these creatures could cause problems later on. She decided to follow them, to see where they were heading and learn as much as she could. The creatures got terribly confused when there wasn’t anybody there after all and they appeared to dislike magic and light even more. Some of the goblins were so malformed she had a hard time understanding how they were able to move and she saw heads with shapes that were just unreal. They did look like a nightmare come true and as she did follow them in camouflage mode she tried to listen in on their conversations. 

The goblins lived within the mountains, she understood that now. They had cities underground and as she entered through a hidden door she did see that this was no city like the ones she had been used to. The goblins didn’t know how to form rock, they knew naught of masonry and they had no knowledge of engineering. The so called city was huge but it was made from everything from animal skeletons to dead branches. It was held together by ropes, by sinews and thin twigs and it was terribly rackety and completely unsafe. How these creatures managed to live and thrive down there was anybody’s guess for she had never encountered such stench and such a lack of order. They probably fought for every little scrap of food available and even though they probably were cowards there was strength in numbers. Here it was the strong against the weak and the life span of these beasts was probably rather short, even compared to that of a human being. She saw few females and judging from the way the city was arranged they probably were kept where it was relatively safe.   
CeKay did find the entire society rather fascinating, it was a world on its own and it had its own set of rules and the main rule seemed to be “if you want it take it!” There were fights all the time, may goblins did fall to their deaths every day but that didn’t cause any mourning at all, just a whole lot of gloating on behalf of the poor dead ones. Empathy and compassion were alien concepts here and she did find out that the goblins in fact were rules by a sort of king but that his rule was what she would describe as terrible at its best. The inhabitants of the city were allowed to do as they pleased as long as the king got the best food and got to punish someone from time to time. 

Soon she did discover that there were things these creatures did fear though, deep down underneath the city there were systems of caves and gorges and some were flooded by underground rivers. Apparently something did live within these lakes and whatever it was, the goblins didn’t dare to mention it. Sometimes they had to approach the rivers to get water and even though it was a rare event the ones sent did sometimes not return. CeKay wondered what sort of creature this could be, if it lived that deep within the mountains it was probably natural, not something Morgoth had created but that didn’t mean that it was benign in any way. The world was old and who knew what sort of life had thrived there before the valar started to shape the world, it could be a survivor of a far older world than this. 

The mountain held many secrets and she wanted to discover them all, so she started to climb down, the goblins had primitive stairs and ladders and she knew that they had to have a very good eyesight to be able to navigate in this near complete darkness. Here and there fluorescent moss or mushrooms did lighten up the surroundings but she didn’t need those. She used her infrared vision and could thus venture down the narrow cracks with relative ease.   
The rock itself was old and brittle and she found plenty of gems and precious metals down there but that wasn’t interesting to her at all. She was searching for life now and indeed she did find it too. There were a huge lake there, it filled several caves and it was hard to tell how large this system of water filled caverns was but it had to be enormous. It probably reached the surface here and there for she saw fish in the water and it was perhaps connected to lakes up there. CeKay didn’t need air, she could live underwater if she wanted to and so she started to explore the cave system systematically. She had a sort of sonar and created a map of each cave as she went through them and she kept going for days before she finally encountered that thing which the goblins did fear. 

At first she believed that this was a whale for it was massive and it moved slowly too, but a whale cannot live in an underwater cave and as she got closer she realized that this was something rather odd. It had perhaps been an octopus or something very similar to an octopus but now it was something very different. It was huge and its shape very strange and she did realize that this was no mere animal. It had a sort of intelligence and it was cold and patient. The thing started chasing her the moment it realized that it wasn’t alone and she had to really struggle to keep it at bay. She could swim way faster than this huge beast and so she escaped it but she had seen that it had a huge mouth with vicious teeth. CeKay decided that she had seen enough, there had to be more than just one of these things for no species can consist of just one individual and so she retreated towards the goblin city yet again. On the way she did find also some strange colourless lizards with no eyes and insects which had lost all colour too, and their antennae were many times the size of their bodies. 

When she did get closer to the city she did see how these creatures gathered food, they set traps within the woods and brought in all sorts of living creatures, from the small like mice and voles to deer and birds. Everything edible was eaten and not a scrap was left. The goblins did store the food in larders and it was rather apparent that they ate even rotten food willingly. There didn’t seem to be any knowledge of how to preserve anything. She was scurrying by one of the larders when she heard a sound, sometimes the goblins would bring in living beings as well as dead ones and she got curious. This larder was a small cave and it was stuffed full of things, some primitive jars held huge grubs which probably had been pulled out of rotting trees and other jars held fish which by the smell had to be months old. The sound came from the back of the cave where things were hung and she gaped when she saw what it was, it was an elf. He was hanging by his feet with his hands bound behind his back and he was gagged and seemed to be unconscious and he did appear to have been in a fight for he was bloody and appeared to be wounded. CeKay almost panicked, she couldn’t let these goblins kill an elf! She had to get him out of there, and fast. 

She ran over and cut the crude ropes which held him and lifted him down, he was decidedly an avari and he was burning hot and probably very ill. CeKay dragged him out of the larder and listened carefully. There were no goblins nearby so she carried the elf with her upwards until she reached a sort of narrow crack in the rock. The goblins hadn’t explored that yet for it seemed to be too small for anyone to use for anything but she had discovered that there was a rather large cave behind it and there was even a small stream going through it. She sort of hauled the unconscious elf into the cave and then she laid him down to access the damage. It was rather bad, he had a nasty cut across his stomach and it was clearly infected and he had a lot of smaller ones almost everywhere. He wore just a pair of bloody doeskin pants and a leather ribbon had been tied around his braid which by now had come undone. The elf was groaning and she knew he needed help right away. She created some light using her powers and then she washed the wounds and cleaned them carefully. She did cauterize some of them and the huge one she fixed using nanites. They sort of glued the wound back together again and made sure that the tissue would heal well. 

She got the poisons out of his blood and then she started monitoring his heart and breath. He was weak and needed food and water and so she returned to the larder and found some relatively fresh meat, a rabbit and a sort of large bird. She used some clay to form bowls she heated up and then she made some thin broth. She was no cook but at least it had some nutrition in it. The elf remained unconscious for more than a day, his body was working hard to fix the damage and she was relieved when he finally started to move. He did look better now that she had washed him and gotten rid of the dirt and blood and she did see that he was a very handsome fellow. The hair was rather dark with a soft mahogany glow to it and he had dark green eyes. The elf did wake up with a yell and she laid a hand on his shoulder to calm him down, he did look terrified and CeKay put a finger across her lips to indicate that she wanted him to be quiet. The green eyes were enormous and filled with disbelief. CeKay smiled and didn’t remove her hand. “Be still, there are goblins near by” 

He groaned again and closed his eyes, he was still in pain but no longer in danger and CeKay wished that she had had some blankets or anything like that. The cave was very cold. “Where am I? Who are you? How…how did you get me out of there?” 

She sat down and held his hand. “You are in a small cave not far from the larder where they…held you. My name is CeKay, I carried you out of there” 

The elf gasped and swallowed hard. “A larder, they were gonna eat me? Oh Eru, I…” 

CeKay patted his hand. “I know, don’t speak, you are weak. You need to rest if we are to get you out of here unseen” 

He frowned. “How is it that you found me? What are you doing here? Those goblins are very dangerous” 

She smiled. “Yes, I know, but they are stupid too, and I have some special abilities. Worry not, I will get you out, what is your name and how come these little bastards got you?”

The elf sighed and relaxed a bit, he was still a bit pale and he shivered. “I am Charadan, I was with two other of my tribe when we were ambushed by orcs. I got wounded and tried to run back to the camp to warn the others but I passed out before I could get so far and the goblins sort of picked me up” 

CeKay cringed. “That sounds like bad luck indeed, I have some broth here, do drink it. You need your strength” 

Charadan looked at her with confusion for she did glow slightly and the odd light seemed to come from everywhere but she had saved him and he grasped the bowl and did eat. It wasn’t the best food he had had but it wasn’t bad either and it was warm. CeKay gave him some water too and he drank deeply. The fever had left him very thirsty and she just hoped that he would regain enough strength to be able to leave soon. This was no place for healing even if it was relatively safe. He put the bowl down. “You haven’t answered my question, what are you doing in here, it is a goblin city is it not?” 

CeKay nodded. “It is, I was curious, I haven’t encountered goblins this malformed before and wanted to explore, see if they pose a threat. Apparently they do” 

Charadan rubbed his belly, there was just a scar there now and he bit his lower lip. “Are you a healer?” 

Cekay shrugged. “Kind of, I am many things, rest now. You need to recover. I can hide but it will be very hard to hide us both if you aren’t able to move” 

He still looked confused but he did allow her to re braid his hair and help him find a more comfortable position. The floor of the cave was made up of sand and it was soft but here and there smaller and larger rocks did hide and they weren’t that comfortable to lay on. CeKay did lay down next to him to provide heat and Charadan did slowly fall asleep, he was probably terribly tired and his body needed rest more than anything else to recover completely. 

She did make the lights go almost out completely, she didn’t want any goblins to find the cave and she wanted to be undisturbed. The elf was very lucky that she had come this way, or else he would have ended up as a meal. The very idea made her shudder, very few species did accept the devouring of other intelligent creatures. She started to wonder how she could eradicate this goblin plague, they shouldn’t be allowed to continue this way, they were a danger to the elves and the other goodly beings of these areas and CeKay was rather sure that it would be a good deed if she helped the world get rid of these beasts. 

Charadan didn’t wake up again for quite a while, she let him sleep and she didn’t need to move so she just laid there and made sure that he was comfortable. That the goblins had been brazen enough to drag an elf in there as food told her they were way too bold for comforts and also that they didn’t fear retaliation. So they feared light? Oh she would bring the light for sure, and everything else they were afraid of. But first things first, Charadan had to be returned to his people and she had to be sure he was strong enough first. She had more broth and it was easy to warm it once it was needed. When he did wake up he did look a lot better and she gave him more broth and water. He did eat in silence and she could sense that he still was feeling rather confused and that he didn’t really knew what to think of her. 

She did check his wounds again, they had healed very well and there was little pain now, just a little soreness here and there and she was sure that he was a rather tough one who could push himself through some pain, in order to get out of there. She made sure that he ate everything that was left of the broth and then she ordered him to rest a little bit longer. In the mountain there was no night or day but the goblins had a sort of resting period and she wanted to leave while their guard was down. She laid down next to him again and he stared at her. “You are so warm, it is like sitting next to an open stove, and you are so very pretty too. Are you a maia?” 

CeKay shook her head. “No, you may compare me with one though” 

He cocked his head. “Then I am honoured to be here with you” 

CeKay smiled and tried to remain calm, there was adoration within those green eyes and she just hoped that he wouldn’t become infatuated with her. That would be hopeless from the start. She just closed her eyes and pretended to be sleeping and after a while she did hear that the sounds of the goblin city became fewer and more faint. She got up and smiled. “We can leave now, you must stay close to me and don’t make a sound” 

He nodded and got up, felt how his legs and arms did function once more and he grinned. “I am as good as new” 

CeKay sent him a warm smile. “Good, lets go. The goblins wont sleep for all that long” 

They did climb down from the crack rather silently, CeKay guided him down onto a rather rackety walk way made from the remains of an old carriage and she could smell goblins near by. She grasped Charadan’s hand and whispered. “Not a sound, I can camouflage us both but it won’t work if you let go!”

He held onto her hand in confusion but didn’t make a noise as they moved forth, the path back to the exit was already mapped within her head and finding the way was no problem at all but she still had obstacles to cross. In one place they had to cross a guarded bridge and there were two rather large goblins standing there with spears. CeKay did the only thing she could do, to pass them by would be impossible since the bridge was very narrow, instead she kicked one of them over the edge and Charadan did the same with the other and then they ran over as fast as they could. Running while holding hands isn’t that easy but they did manage to get to the exit. That was guarded too, by more than just two goblins and they wouldn’t be so easily fooled. CeKay had to think fast, the goblins had swords, crude blades but they were sharp enough to kill and she didn’t want Charadan to get hurt again. She whispered to him. “Close your eyes and don’t open them until I tell you so” 

He obeyed, a bit nervous but he did trust her and CeKay released nanites again, let them attack the rock around them and created a veritable tornado of rock dust. The goblins were confused, there were no wind so why did the dust move like that and suddenly the dust started to behave like there was a will behind it. The goblins tried to run but it was too late, dust particles were thrown at them with such force their lungs and airways got filled within seconds and they all dropped down, dead. Cekay grasped Charadan by the hand yet again and pulled him with her outside. It was dark there and cold and rather wet but she didn’t hesitate. They did run down from the mountainside and he did lead the way now. He knew where his village was and CeKay wanted to know more about this area before she returned to the city to clean up. 

They ran until it got light, then they rested a little and by noon they reached the valley where Charadan’s tribe lived. They weren’t many but they were fierce and brave and CeKay sensed the shock and joy they felt when Charadan suddenly returned to them. Some ran forth and embraced him and others cheered. He pointed at CeKay who came behind him. “Everybody, this is CeKay, she saved me. The goblins were gonna eat me” 

The chief stepped forth, he did look like a very hardened warrior and he stared at her for a while. “You saved my brother’s son, I am very grateful, whoever you are”

CeKay bowed her head. “ I just did what every decent person would, it was an honour” 

The chief tilted his head. “You are no elf, I can tell that for sure, are you sent by the valar?” 

CeKay shook her head. “No, but I am powerful, and I want to raze this threat from these mountains but I need information first Have you seen the goblins often?” 

The chief smiled, a rather stiff smile. “My tribe came here hundreds of years ago, the goblins were already there then, but they were hardly a threat. Small and few and more nervous than a mouse and the only damage they did was stealing every now and then. They were never more than bothersome and a slight nuisance at times but it changed a decade or two ago, they got bolder, ventured farther from their nest and sometimes they do pair up with orcs too. We have lost several of ours to them, we were sure we would lose Charadan here too.” 

CeKay looked very concentrated, she was thinking fast. “So they have expanded their territory, it is not likely then that they will stop anytime soon” 

The elf nodded. “We have considered moving, but this area is secluded, and there aren’t that many orcs here. We like it” 

CeKay sighed and made a grimace. “Good, I will do whatever I can to remove those goblins from the face of this earth, I cannot let them roam freely when I know they are this dangerous and wicked.” 

The chief looked puzzled. “You must be very powerful if you think you can eradicate these beasts, there are many of them, and they are like spiders, they can be everywhere” 

CeKay nodded. “And like spiders they do go for the unsuspecting, the weak and the young right?” 

The elf nodded again, his eyes sad. “Yes, children have disappeared, we think the goblins got them!” 

CeKay felt an odd taste in her mouth, knew it was bile. She almost snarled as she decided what to do next. “Exactly, they are servants of the dark one, whence I take them out there will be one threat less to worry about for the future.” 

The elves were staring at her and it felt a bit odd, she didn’t like the attention. She turned to the small crowd. “Do not leave the village tonight, stay close and don’t worry about me. I will be alright, the goblins on the other hand….” 

Charadan came over again and he hesitated for a moment, then he leaned forth and hugged her quickly. “Thank you, I owe you my life. “ 

She hugged him back, a bit awkwardly but it was a hug nevertheless. “I will return after I am done, then you can celebrate, alright?” 

He smiled and CeKay felt a sort of emotion she hadn’t experienced before, a protectiveness? She had no idea of what it was so she turned around and started to run back towards the goblin city. Now she could travel at full speed and it didn’t take her long to return to the entrance. It was soon dark again and she bared her teeth. The anger she felt was burning hot and she let manifest itself in her appearance. She was glowing as she entered the city, like a star fallen from heaven and her hands became blades. Now she shed everything even resembling an elf, she had a humanoid shape but no real features expect her eyes, glowing white. Around her a cloud of nanites formed, all creating tremendous heat and she started to move forwards through the city. Dry wood caught fire spontaneously, ropes snapped, rock split, a roar of overheated air could be heard as she rushed forth surrounded by heat and steam. The rivers and streams she did encounter were turned into water vapour instantaneously and many goblins were literally boiled alive as she kept going. Some dared to attack only to be split apart by the glowing blades and the goblins probably believed that she was some sort of balrog, gone rogue. CeKay forgot about everything except this one task, destroying these goblins. She let her fire fill every crack and crevice, heat made the very mountain split up and rocks did fall from the roofs and bridges did collapse. Steam and some did burst forth from the peak as if from a volcano and she didn’t leave any tunnel or cave untouched. What she left behind was a scorched and blackened killing field, everything was on fire and she didn’t spare anyone. 

She turned the entire nest into a killing field, there were no way to run and desperate goblins tried to escape by going downwards towards the lowest levels and the lakes. She chased them, relentlessly. Screams filled the air and yet she didn’t hesitate. These creatures were vermin and this was what she had been created to do, remove such filth. She didn’t stop until the entire system of tunnels and caves was scoured clean, burned to the very rock itself. There was nothing left and she let herself rise in the hot air and she shot out of one of the vents which had formed on top of the mountain and landed next to it, still a creature of sheer flame.

She waited for a few moments, feeling the power surging through her, then she allowed herself to return to her previous state, looking exactly the way she had before. She smoothed out her hair before she started walking down the mountain, feeling rather pleased with herself. She called her horse to her and rode back to the elven village, on the way she felled a deer to bring as a gift and she felt an odd thrill running down her spine. She had been an observer but perhaps she could be a protector as well? She couldn’t change the large events but what about those small things? Yes, things like this would be okay to do, after all, it was very useful.   
The elves were waiting for her as she entered the village, they had seen the smoke from a distance and they had feared for her but she raised an arm and grinned widely. “It is done, the goblins are gone!”

Everybody cheered and she got off the horse and was hugged again by Charadan, it felt good and she hugged him back, with zeal. “Let us celebrate, this is a day of joy” 

She let him hold her hand as she was being dragged forth into a circle of singing and chanting elves. “Yes, a day of joy!”


	11. I'd give it all for a heart...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CeKay tries to change and understand but in the end, she cannot deny what she truly is, even when she finally accept her place in the world

Chapter 11: I’d give it all for a heart…

Cekay did find these wood elves very interesting, they had a completely different way of life than the one she had gotten used to in Menegroth and a very different attitude to life in general. They didn’t sit there trying to gain influence or power, they didn’t think ahead and make grand plans, to them the simple task of surviving the next day was all that mattered. The huts they lived in were primitive and could be abandoned without them loosing much and yet they did provide the elves with shelter and warmth when that was needed. Even their tools were the kind you could afford to lose and in spite of what others probably would refer to as poverty she saw that they were happy. 

The only thorn in their side was Morgoth and his schemes and the orcs and she decided that she wanted to stay there, at least for a while to learn more about the lifestyle and to protect them if she could. The city of Menegroth was protected by Melian and CeKay didn’t feel that she was needed there anymore, besides, her presence could bring unwanted attention if a certain someone learned of all the advanced knowledge she had given those elves. Here on the other hand she would do no such thing, these elves didn’t need it. They were satisfied with what they had and the valleys and forests here were deep and hid them well. At first she felt a bit insecure around these elves, she didn’t quite know how to behave and she tried sort of stay clear of the others as much as possible. But soon it became apparent that it wasn’t an option at all, these were sociable people and they didn’t allow anyone to fall off the grid, everyone knew everyone and she was pulled into the social life rather reluctantly. 

The chief did send her out with the hunters and she didn’t use her special skills at all, she hunted like an elf would and it felt good, it felt like a true challenge. She did her part and brought meat back to the camp and the females did teach her what plants and berries they used for food and which could be used for healing. Sometimes she had to baby sit the young ones and she found that she adored working with these young and fresh minds and that they sometimes asked questions which gave her a whole new way of seeing things. The tribe was a closely knit society and CeKay was afraid that she would interfere with it and change it in ways she didn’t want. They treated her with respect, like one of their own and she appreciated it but wondered what they would think and feel if she told them the truth of what she was. She had been thinking hard lately, trying to explain herself and her own existence, not the fact that she had been created for she knew all about that but the way her mind did work, and how it had changed. She was no longer a creature of sheer logic, of cold calculations and rational decisions. More and more she found that she was being swayed by emotions, by a sort of curiosity she hadn’t experienced before. It startled her at first, then she realized that she ought to embrace it, to widen her horizon and become more than she had been. 

That in turn created new problems, there were emotions and then there were troublesome emotions, ones she couldn’t accept. When she was out hunting Charadan was always by her side, like a silent shadow and he was very protective of her even if she was the one who shouldn’t have to fear anything. It was sweet of him but she did find it annoying at times, in special when others were speaking to her and he sort of placed himself in between. She was no idiot, she knew all about biological creatures and their feelings and needs and yet, to suddenly become the attention of someone’s interest like that almost freaked her out. What was she to say, what was she to do? She didn’t want to hurt his feelings in any way and she was a bit flattered too by the awkward attempts at getting her attention. Charadan was one of the few unbound males of the tribe and CeKay sort of wished that they could meet some other clan so she could get his attention taken elsewhere. 

The avarin tribes would sometimes meet but they lived far apart and had to hide and thus the meetings were far apart. CeKay did wonder if she really ought to leave after all, before Charadan developed some true feelings for her. She couldn’t return his affection, it wouldn’t be fair on any of them if she gave him hope. So she treated him with polite respect but tried to avoid him and she did nothing which could be interpreted as an attempt at encouraging his behaviour. The simple living there had its charms, and she didn’t want to leave so she decided to endure and just hope that things would turn out the right way in the end.   
But soon it became apparent that it wasn’t that easy, she was a newcomer and even though everybody liked her the balance had been shifted. She was one extra sword arm and an extra hunter and she did her very best to become valuable to the tribe but it did have side effects. The work load lessened for the others because of her and that meant that they had spare time and she soon found that she was yet again becoming a teacher. This time she didn’t try to teach anything advanced but she knew how to make baskets out of willow branches and reeds and as she sat there she listened to the gossip and the chit chat and felt a sort of belonging she hadn’t experienced before.   
Menegroth had been too large and the political play too devious and too hidden. Here things were so simple and easy to see and nobody tried to hide their true self. It was simply refreshing and she felt at home. It was odd but it was a new feeling to her. The ship had been a sort of a home but not a real one and it had been only temporary, she had known that all along. The thing had been old, the crew likewise and sooner or later she would have been sent to live with some other captain and crew. 

The days passed by as they always do and before she really knew of it winter came. The tribe did move then, into some caves which were easy to defend and where they were safe from the ice cold wind and the orcs and CeKay would patrol the area much of the time, looking for enemies. If she did come across orcs she would kill them and hide the bodies and thanks to that the tribe didn’t lose any of the hunters that winter. She brought back pelts and meat and their appreciation felt different from the one she had received in the city.   
Here her contributions meant the difference between starvation and plenty, there it hadn’t truly meant that much. But Charadan didn’t end his pursuit, even when she tried to explain to him that she wasn’t interested. She could find small gifts on her bed roll, pretty feathers, some flowers, a neatly woven band for her hair… it was small things but they spoke volumes and she felt for the first time that this was something she just couldn’t handle. How was she to judge the depth of someone’s feelings, and their sincerity, when she had no experience with such situations? He was obviously trying to court her and she felt a sort of despair she never had imagined herself capable of feeling. What was she to do? 

The chief did notice her distress and one evening when she was working on removing the fat from the hide of a deer one of the older ellith did approach her. CeKay bowed her head in respect and the elleth sat down and smiled. “You are troubled, the chief said you are struggling” 

CeKay nodded. “I am, I am not like you, and I cannot even pretend to understand how you think and feel. There is so much more to it than just…flesh and blood.” 

The elleth cocked her head. “That is where you are wrong, it is simple. It is a question of do or don’t” 

CeKay frowned. “What do you mean?” 

The elleth pulled her skirts closer to her. “Charadan loves you, everyone can see that. And we don’t fall in love easily, to him there is no choice, no don’t. That option was taken away from him” 

CeKay moaned. “I shouldn’t have come here in the first place” 

The elleth shrugged. “Then he would have been dead, eaten by those goblins.” 

She stared down, fidgeting with the scrape. “I know, but I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t want to hurt him” 

The elleth nodded solemnly. “If you leave now he will live his life alone, never bonding with anyone. It will be a sad and miserable life” 

CeKay whimpered. “So what am I to do? I don’t love him! By every deity, I am not even…I am something very different from you elves” 

The elleth stared her in the eye. “Are you truly that different? You care about others, you laugh and you feel sad, you feel fear and you have danced like the rest of us at our feasts. You have a soul CeKay, and souls are all that matters, not bodies. Bodies are just here and now, souls are…forever” 

CeKay swallowed hard. “I am not so sure that you are right, I am afraid that my so called soul is just…a mistake. A glitch in my programming, some flaw which will ultimately disappear” 

The elleth shook her head. “No, it is no mistake. It is real, whether made by some greater force or begotten in love, a soul cannot be erased, and it cannot be denied” 

Cekay sighed. “So I am gonna let him court me? Is that what you are saying? I cannot give him a family, I am…I can never share his feelings, wouldn’t that be unfair to him?” 

The elleth shook her head. “Our lives are frail, you have seen that. We may die in accidents, be slain by beasts or the enemy and his hordes. But there is no point in a life lived in vain, without the things we utterly crave. Even a short life is a full life if it was lived the right way”

The elleth turned to CeKay. “What I am saying is that he needs you, he needs to show you his love, to feel that he has a purpose. Maybe you won’t truly love him back but he will be happy nonetheless. “ 

CeKay felt a shudder pass through her body. “Oh, I understand but it doesn’t feel right, I may have to leave someday, there are things I am supposed to do, dangerous things even” 

The elleth nodded. “And he will leave with you then, do not doubt him, and do not doubt your own heart, it is greater than you think” 

CeKay swallowed. “I don’t really have a heart” 

The elf just grinned. “Alright, metaphorically speaking then. But I am an elder here, I have seen so much and Charadan will be miserable if you continue to avoid him. Believe me, there is truly just one possible path to take” 

CeKay looked down, feeling trapped. He was so sweet to her, so attentive and so obviously taken and she felt as if this was deceit of some kind and a very devious one too. If she agreed she would eventually put him in harm’s way for one day she would have to leave and what then? Could a simple wood elf hope to survive then? Or even be accepted by the more sophisticated noldor and sindar? She stared out into nothing, unable to really make a decision. The elleth petted her shoulder. “Think about it, you can make him very happy, believe me. Even if the time you’ll get to share will be short. “ 

CeKay stared down at the pelt and she felt ultimately trapped. She wondered if she could just leave this night, sneak out of the camp and be gone but he would try to track her then, and that could end badly. Scare him off? That wouldn’t work, she just knew it. She had told him she had powers, and he had accepted it. When she sat in her hut that night her mind was in overdrive and she went through so many possibilities, so many different paths. 

The next morning she found a pretty blue feather stuck in her door and she sighed and stared at it, then she put it behind her ear, let the tribe see it. Over the next days she started receiving even more gifts, and she wore them all, with a feeling of impending doom. The whole tribe knew that she had accepted him as a suitor and she tried to be strong and stand by her decision but it was darn hard. She had such doubt, and she knew that he would be hurt, one way or the other. But Charadan was obviously ecstatic, he would take her for walks in the woods, they would explore the vast caverns of the nearby mountains together and she knew that she enjoyed his company and she did appreciate his affection but still it didn’t feel right. Then he gave her a sort of ring carved from a piece of wood and she knew that this was it, sink or swim. If she accepted she also accepted him as her mate and that brought up some new difficult questions she had to consider. 

She knew how biological beings mated, and she had seen a lot since her arrival at this planet. She knew that there was both a biological and an emotional side to it all and she also knew that she was biologically capable of mating. She had all the right parts when in this shape and she could even make herself feel everything that a normal biological entity would feel whilst being intimate.   
That wasn’t the problem at all, but could the vague affections she felt for him really be enough, emotionally? She had no idea! She could try to convince herself that she did this out of curiosity, that she just wanted to learn and explore but that would be a lie too. It was so much more to it really. She made her choice, she accepted the ring and knew that there was no going back now. He would never love someone else, his heart would be only for her and she had to accept that it had been thus for a long time already, since she rescued him. Perhaps this was fate after all, some way of letting her become a better person and she allowed herself to feel freely now.   
That night Charadan took her down to the river and spoke his vows and she repeated them, even if the words did ring hollow in her ears. Her body did respond to his touches, like the body of a normal person would and she found that these new sensations were thrilling and enjoyable but still there was a small shadow of doubt in the back of her mind. He cried with joy as they became one and CeKay felt a bit humble, sensing his intense happiness and pleasure, it was not as she had expected for she could understand now, understand this so foreign concept of love and see that it was more than just chemicals and hormones and as her own body felt the surges of pleasure she could no longer regret this.

The next morning she knew that she was changed, she had seen something very strong and true in his eyes and she was sure that she could feel the same, given some time. They returned to the camp and were congratulated and now they moved in together. She tried to make him feel wanted, cherished and loved and did whatever she could to show him that she did cherish his support and his never ending gentleness and care. She spent the nights in his arms and learned that even she could be quite overwhelmed by these newfound pleasures. She knew how to please him for even such knowledge was stored in her memory and she felt happy when she heard him cry her name in ecstasy, then she knew that she did give him something back, something real. But she would never give him a child and that was a sore thing to consider. Instead they started caring for the orphans of the tribe, there were a few and even though most were almost adults they still needed some extra love and care. 

CeKay did what she could to make sure that they all learned what they needed to survive there and she felt that she did have a family after all. Time flew by now as something she didn’t really consider, she was content there and she was a part of the tribe. She and Charadan did watch the young ones and made sure that they were safe and in the summers she would teach the elflings how to swim and tell them tales of other worlds under strange distant suns. She almost forgot about her true nature, of the fact that she was no elf. She taught the healer more about how the body worked and she chased off orcs and monsters and it felt as if this was all that had ever been. The slow rhythm of the skies above, the nature and the wild animals was all that mattered and CeKay felt that this was so much better than anything she had done before. She was happy, she had to admit that to herself. 

In the winters the cave was cosy and warm and in the summers they would roam the forest and feel that the mother of the forests had blessed them indeed. This area was so secluded little was known about the things which happened out there in the west and north and CeKay found that she really didn’t care. This uncomplicated simple life was all that she really wanted and as the years did fly by she knew that changes did come but she never left the tribe to investigate. They were all she had, all she cared about and the rest of the world did hold little value to her now. The occasional orc pack did find the valleys every now and then but she did make sure that they were eradicated before they even discovered that the area had elves. She chose to ignore everything except this tribe and her extended family and she didn’t see anything wrong with it. She wasn’t to change the path of destiny in any way now was she and this way that was avoided.   
But things couldn’t last and one day she realized that she had been blinded by her own joy and hopes. It was late in the evening and she was resting under a tree with some of the ellith. They had been digging for some roots and stored them in the cave, the work was hard and the Ellyn were out hunting for deer. The valley had been peaceful for a long time and she didn’t expect any trouble now at all. It seemed as if the orcs no longer came this far east and she was glad, good riddance. The elflings were gathered in the tree, sleeping in the talan and the sun was warm and made everyone drowsy and relaxed. CeKay didn’t feel drowsy though, she was still cleaning some roots when she heard a sound from afar. It was a shout and she got up and felt a sting of worry. Nobody shouted there, it was dangerous even when they hadn’t seen any orcs for a long time. 

The ellith too got up and now they heard the shout again, it was a sort of signal and many paled and looked scared. CeKay had never heard it before and one of the ellith did explain that it meant that the hunters had run into trouble and were bringing back wounded. CeKay swallowed, her body suddenly felt stiff, almost frozen. She knew that Charadan was with the hunters this day and she had to grasp onto the tree to feel grounded. The ellith did prepare, the healer found all her equipment and herbs and now they had to wait. The hunters came back at a full run and they carried four with them, CeKay suddenly understood what these biological beings felt when they fainted. She was sure she would but somehow she didn’t. Charadan was among the wounded and she let out a wail and knelt by the stretcher. He was unconscious and covered with blood and she just knew it, she would lose him. The chief stood there, his head hanging low. “It was a boar, a giant one, its tusks like swords. It came so fast, none of us had time to get out of the way.” 

Charadan was the one who had been hit first and his wounds where the most severe, he had lost so much blood and his body was so torn CeKay wondered how he still could be alive. The healer could do nothing and she felt so tempted, she had healed him once before, she had the skills and the knowledge but she also knew that it was too late. His soul was fleeing, healing the body would not bring him back. The chief laid a hand on her shoulder, his voice did shudder. “He told me to tell you this, you were his light, and these years so precious. No ellon has ever been more happy. He loved you, and hoped that he would see you again, in the blessed land” 

CeKay let out a thin wail, she had loved him, truly and deeply and she saw that now and she realized what dangers love brought, its ultimate cost. She saw that he had stopped breathing and she leaned over and kissed him one last time, the sensation of despair almost more than she could bare. But she had made him happy, she had brought joy and hope and she could bare this pain then, knowing his heart. The other three did make it, their wounds were not that serious and the healer was able to fix them rather fast but the tribe was in mourning now and CeKay felt that she was a drift on a deep dark ocean of grief. There was no joy there for her now and she did agree when the chief wanted to bring the tribe further east, into the great woodlands.  
She made sure that they had everything they needed for the journey, then she bid them her farewell. She couldn’t stay any longer, she had to go. This had never been her destiny, it had been a short pause, a calm before the storm set in. She had learned a lot and it was precious but she no longer belonged there. She found her horse again and left the valleys, heading west once more. This time she stopped and changed her appearance, nobody would recognize her as the one who had helped them centuries ago. Now she was shorter, her hair darker and her eyes green, she had taken the appearance of an avarin elf and she also changed the steed so it looked like a small and ordinary hackney. Her sorrow was still too great for her to bare, she barely had the strength to think of him but she had made herself a promise. If it was true that elves did get reborn in the blessed realm she would reunite with him again, for she had realized that she had a soul, and that she no longer could deny that she had feelings. She was of this world now, truly and fully and if she hadn’t accepted that before now was the time to do so. 

She rode west again and discovered that humans had spread out, that battles had been fought and that things had changed a lot. She made her way back towards Doriath, slowly and in secret, there were elves also outside of the girdle and she realized that many things had slipped past her. Fingolfin was dead and she mourned this but felt a sting of pride as well when she learned of the manner of his death. He had challenged Morgoth to duel and even though he lost he had managed to injure the dark vala. Now his son Turgon was high king and he had apparently disappeared with all of his subjects and CeKay felt a cold shiver run down her spine. He had been the one of the king’s son’s she had liked the least since he was a bit strict and sombre and CeKay felt that destiny could play a cruel game when it came to this elf. She rode on, and when she reached the girdle she had gathered a lot of new information. She was stopped by guards and she explained that she was an ordinary wood elf, and that she had lost her mate and now was trying to make sense of her life alone. That gained her the sympathy of the guards and she was let inn. 

When she entered the city she quickly learned of the fact that the princess had fallen in love with a mortal and that Thingol had demanded a silmaril from the crown of Morgoth as the bride price. It was an impossible demand and CeKay knew that the days of Doriath were numbered. She saw it now, the end was coming. But she could do naught to stop it and so she chose to stay, to work there as an ordinary citizen and she found some pride in seeing that her teaching still were held in high regard.   
The atmosphere had changed a lot, it was dense and almost paranoid and everybody seemed to walk on needles. The laughter and life was gone, what had replaced it was empty and false and she missed the old days but knew that they wouldn’t return. Melian was locking herself into her chambers and CeKay knew that the maia had seen what was to come. They were both aware of the impending doom and both were powerless.   
CeKay was there when Luthien and Beren did return, the silmaril taken by the great wolf and she wished to see the darn thing but stayed behind. It was brought back by the king and Mablung and it was a wonder to behold but CeKay just knew it, Fêanor had created something nobody ought to wield.  
It did drive madness into the hearts of mortal and immortal alike and she truly wondered what had inspired him to make these gems in the first place. Beren did die and Luthien slipped away too, overcome by grief and now CeKay truly knew what they felt. She had found new understanding now and was capable of so much more and so she waited, waited and hoped that she at least could do something good if not world changing.


	12. I will be there until the end...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The arrogance of Thingol is about to drive the city into a terrible situation and what about the sons of Fëanor and the oath...CeKay has to make some choices and they are hard.

Chapter 12: I will be there until the end…

He had lost it, everybody did agree upon that. It wasn’t said out loud though, they kept their voices low but it was well known among the people that the king no longer followed the rules of sanity. The grief of losing his daughter to mortality was to blame for this some claimed while others believed that the gem was the cause of this. He was way too confident, and this was hubris on so many levels. CeKay didn’t reveal herself now, she stayed in the shadows, acted like an ordinary elf and the disguise wasn’t discovered even once. She knew how to act now, and how to melt into the masses. Bringing the silmaril to their city was in itself a bad move unless he decided to return it to the sons of Fëanor but there was no sign of that being his attention. Even his advisors tried to reason with him, to make him see that keeping the accursed thing was a mistake. The feanorions would know it had ended up in his hands and demand it back and no matter how strong their city was, those noldor would stop at nothing. 

Others did also mumble about his tendency to listen too much to the second born and the whole mess with Turin also made many doubt his ability to rule. Some of the noble men of the realm did leave, a huge group was lead by one named Oropher and they left for the eastern woods where they would dwell with the silvan elves there. CeKay felt a lump of anxiety, she knew that this would end badly and she could do naught about it. Melian had locked herself in her chambers and refused to come out and even the birth of her grandchild didn’t manage to rid the realm of the doom and gloom which had descended upon it. CeKay was out hunting when Thingol did contact the dwarves regarding the necklace of Finrod which he wanted to embellish with the silmaril. She almost spat when she heard about it but he had already made the deal and this would never have happened if he had been his former rational self. The feanorions had already sent letters, demanding the gem back and he had not even answered. His closest co workers said he spent hours staring at the accursed thing. 

CeKay did notice one thing though, the bad atmosphere and the fear made several rebel against the kings rules. Not openly, oh no, but in the shadows and his own nephew was among the most discontent of them. He did not have a claim to the throne at all now that Luthien’s son was coming of age soon but he didn’t want to stay there. He and Galadriel were betrothed and CeKay was happy on their behalf but she also feared for their future if they were to stay for much longer. It did take a while before real trouble started, at first there were rumours that the dwarves were less then pleased with the payment they had received from the king in advance, they wanted more for the work was to be exceptional. Then some claimed that this was just to create a diversion, since the dwarves now wanted the necklace for themselves. Cekay already knew that the goddamn silmaril did turn people greedy and stupid and she did truly wonder what it was. It couldn’t be just a gem, it had to be so much more and from the stories she had heard it sounded as if it had taken the common sense of its creator too as it was brought to life. 

She was contemplating stealing the thing, she doubted that it could ensnare her and she could easily do it without being detected, but she had no idea of how the king would react then. He was hovering on the border of madness already and she didn’t want to add to it. So she waited and hoped that the wisdom of the elves would win out in the end. 

The son of Luthien and Beren did marry an elleth named Nimloth and for a while the atmosphere of Doriath was a merry one, it brought hope in spite of everything else. CeKay had learned about the fall of Nargothrond and everything which followed and she knew that the noldor indeed were cursed. They would never be able to work together to achieve their goals but be torn apart from the inside, never pulling in the same direction. She had liked Finrod and his brother and she did mourn them all but knew that the hands of the enemy were long, and stronger than many would believe. She was aghast to hear of the end of Niniel and Turin and she remembered what she had once seen, the song was out of harmony now, it was a lamentation, not a song of hope. 

The dwarves did come to the city with the reforged necklace, now with the silmaril mounted in it and CeKay did see it, from a distance and she felt the silmaril like a weight upon her consciousness and it terrified her. There was a familiarity there, a sort of recognition, one artificial mind to another. But she felt why the silmaril was so dangerous, it was incomplete! It was a part of a group of three and without the others the harmony was off. Beren and Luthien had in fact done a blunder when they stole it from the crown of Morgoth, it would never bring anything but misery, not to anyone. It was wonderful to behold of course and she did yet again wonder how an elf had been able to create this, she wanted to warn the king but she knew that she couldn’t. 

It happened late in the evening, when the lights were low and everybody were relaxed after a long day. The king went to deposit the necklace in the vaults and the dwarves attacked him there, driven mad by their desire for the gem. Many were slain, including the king himself and the dwarves did flee and nobody had the time nor the courage to pursue them for this shocked them all to the core. CeKay wanted to go after them but knew that she couldn’t and it bugged her royally. She could have slain them all at once but to what purpose? What was done was done. The entire city did go into shock and the grief made them act in strange ways but CeKay did see that some did keep a straight head and did the reasonable thing. Celeborn and Galadriel left with some followers, they slipped away during a dark night and were gone, supposedly heading for Lindon and CeKay was relieved. Melian had simply left too, many had forgotten that their queen was a maia and without her the protection did fail. The guards were doubled and the training intensified, the city was preparing for war. Now Dior was king and he had two sons born to him and people did turn to him for guidance and wisdom but he wasn’t his grandfather at all. He was said to return to the city to take up the throne when the dwarves did return, with an army. They were overcome by greed and wanted the wealth the elven king had gathered and many were slain. 

CeKay did fight, she had once admired and loved this race but now she saw the less than pretty side of them, they were turned into savage beasts and she attacked from the shadows and killed many. The wood elves did come to their aid together with Beren and now CeKay did for the first time encounter ents. She had heard them speak of the tree shepherds but had believed the tales to be just lies and exaggerations but now she did see that they were true. The ents did stop the dwarves from escaping and it became a bloodbath. The dwarves were excellent fighters within a cave, they were able to cut their way through any defence. Out in the open they were vulnerable, short and stocky and not very fast they were brought down by arrows and torn to shreds by ents who had seen them kill their precious trees too many times. In the end no dwarf did escape and their treasures were brought back to Doriath, the Silmaril included. Luthien got it to wear and CeKay did wince when she saw that goddamn thing around her neck, it should have been smashed into smithereens, not worn like that. It was like waving a red flag at a bull. 

Now Dior Eluchil became the new king of Doriath and in the end of the year both Luthien and Beren did pass away from old age. Dior tried to be wise and he tried to be a real king but he failed to see that the whole picture is made up by oh so many pieces. He simply wasn’t prepared for this and he sort of wanted to return Doriath to what it had been without considering the consequences of forgetting the past. CeKay managed to become a part of the royal guard and she was not impressed by this half elf at all. Oh he was beautiful like his mother and brave like his father for sure but something was still lacking. He wasn’t a politician, he was way too naïve and too convinced of their strength. 

He and his wife did have a daughter they named Elwing and he was so focused upon her that he didn’t even answer when the Sons of Fëanor yet again demanded that the silmaril was returned to them. CeKay wished that she could steal it, that would end the quarrel and perhaps Doriath would be spared. Without the girdle the city was depending on the guards and marchwardens to remain safe and orcs and other foul beasts were constantly trying to find it. CeKay knew that Turgon, the son of Fingolfin had built a secret city somewhere too and that it was closed off, it was a strategy which made her shake her head in despair. Nargothrond had fallen spectacularly, Doriath had been sacked and this one believed that they could stay hidden forever? It would not end well and she just knew it. 

The city was being rebuilt and things seemed to go rather well, there had been few attacks from the orcs lately and CeKay knew it was the calm before a storm, she just had no idea of how horrible that storm would be. The feanorions had written letters, sent envoys and the demands were no longer polite at all. The words were crass and direct and anyone with half a brain ought to know what the Feanorions had done in the past and what they were capable off. Yet Dior didn’t respond at all and he seemed to be convinced that the strength of Doriath was enough to keep any unwanted visitors at bay. 

CeKay went into camouflage mode again, she was on edge and stayed in the trees and the forest itself was also very alert now. She had reconnected with the beasts of the land and she had been resting in a hollow oak when she got the first warnings. A fox ran by, barking and whining and the trees were swaying, making groaning sounds. She got up and heard the sounds of distant shouts and screams and cussed. She was already too late, the Feanorions didn’t attack full on first, not like they normally would. Somehow they had managed to find one of the hidden entrances to the city and had infiltrated it through that and now they were killing the guards who didn’t expect attack from behind. 

She got up, ran towards the entrance and saw that the guards were felled, more of the followers of Fëanor did appear and she knew that she couldn’t just kill them all, it would be wrong of her so she used her superior strength to block the doors with boulders and then she ran to see if she could somehow prevent the worst of the bloodshed. The warriors of Doriath had been taken by surprise, yet they fought well and many of the enemy were felled since they weren’t used to fighting within such a confined space. CeKay ran towards the royal chambers and she stayed in camouflage mode so she was invisible to the naked eye. She killed a few of the enemies as she ran, completely focused on her goal. Failing now would be just heartbreaking and she thought she heard the sound of screaming children. ¨

She had already seen that Maedhros and Maglor were absent, their warriors and colours were nowhere to be seen and she suspected that this was done by the other brothers, out of sheer impatience. Celegorm and Curufin and Caranthir were wild and reckless and way more ferocious than the two eldest and she believed those who said that the best parts of Fëanor and Nerdanel had gone into their two first sons. She found Caranthir dying in a hallway, he had been skewered by a spear and hang from it, blood running down his chin. CeKay didn’t stop at all, she just ran by him. She now knew that these elves had known more about the layout of the city than they ought to, they had gone straight for the chambers where the king stayed and she found that most of Dior’s guards had been cut down. Nimloth lay near the door to her rooms, a cruel cut across her throat and CeKay did gasp, this told of complete bloodlust and nothing else but the children were nowhere to be seen. That was encouraging. 

Then she heard the sounds of battle and ran again, entered the throne room. Dior was still alive, fighting Celegorm. Curufin lay dying on the floor and CeKay knew that the king was an excellent swordsman in his own right. The dark haired ellon did protect himself with expert technique but Celegorm did fight like a savage beast and Dior was already wounded. CeKay felt cold, what was she to do? The silvery haired elf made that choice for her, he made a strange move and Dior got confused and left an opening and Celegorm did exploit it. He ran his sword through the king and laughed as he did it. CeKay did sneer and removed the camouflage, the elf did flinch for a second, hadn’t seen that anyone was approaching and he didn’t know who this elleth were. He ran towards her to fell her but CeKay moved with a speed no elf would be able to match and now she did return to the form Celegorm had seen, the blonde beauty who had followed Fingolfin. He growled. “So, it is you, the whore, where is the gem!”

CeKay knew he was insane, any normal person would have understood that he faced an opponent he couldn’t hope to overcome and yet Celegorm did attack again, trying to pierce her with the blade. She felt wrath boil up inside of her, and now she started to glow. Finally the elf realized that he was up against something not human at all and he slowed down, eyes revealing disbelief. “What the fuck? Are you one of Melian’s minions?” 

CeKay growled and grasped onto Celegorm’s blade as it swept by her side, it must have felt as if the blade hit solid rock for Celegorm gasped and let go, his hand stunned by the impact. She broke the blade in half and stared at him. “All this bloodshed, children and women, all innocent, just for the sake of an accursed gemstone?” 

He tried to grasp onto her and she growled again,. “You are not worthy of a clean death, no, you shall suffer!”

She released some nanites into the air and he breathed them inn, not aware of the danger. The tiny machines went to work almost immediately, tearing up the tissue of his lungs and the elf coughed and wheezed, his expression one of disbelief and shock. He was grasping his throat, heaving for air but there was nothing to be had, the nanites ruined his trachea and he tipped over, body convulsing violently before the light died in his eyes with him. 

CeKay kicked the body, now, where were the royal children? She ran off and found that the followers of the Feanorions were retreating now that their leaders were dead, they were falling back and the survivors tried to regroup and protect themselves. She ran through the chaos and found that many were fleeing westwards. She then turned and ran east, only to find that Maedhros and Maglor had come but too late to stop their brothers from committing yet another horrific crime. She kept hidden, Maedhros did kill a couple of servants, they had served Celegorm and had lead the twin sons of Dior into the woods and abandoned them there. Maedhros did take off to try and find them and CeKay knew that he wasn’t completely corrupted, there was good in him still, as in his brother. The two youngest sons of Fëanor were also there, shocked and confused by all this. 

CeKay didn’t reveal herself but she ran by Maedhros and tried to find the two boys too, she could cover much more ground than the tall ellon and she used the trees and the animals too and before long she knew that the two weren’t to be found by anyone there. Melian had come for them, and brought them home to Aman with her. She couldn’t bear to lose her kin thus and had interfered, even if she had sworn not to. CeKay was glad and now she tried to help the survivors. She took the shape she had had again and helped organize help and healing and from one of the surviving guards she was told that the daughter of the king had escaped and brought the gem with her. CeKay swore to herself, as long as that family continued to cling onto that bloody thing this would happen again. 

The city of Doriath was abandoned, the survivors couldn’t bare to stay anymore and the entire kingdom was left behind. The great halls would no longer house elves and only wild beasts would enter its caves. Even with the huge loss of lives there were thousands of elves on the run towards the sea and Sirion and CeKay followed them. She didn’t trust the remaining Fëanorions for now they had brothers to avenge as well as their father and the gems. Even a good man can snap and do terrible things and she knew that the oath was a most horrible thing and something which could completely turn someone around. The mouths of Sirion was a lovely place and it was on its way to becoming a larger city and now it housed a lot of elves. 

CeKay stayed in the shades even now, she was anonymous, just another refugee and she tried to help where she could. She worked at some of the fishing boats for a while and she saw how the society sort of reshaped itself there. Elwing was the princess of the Sindar elves now and she was being treated thus too but there were some rumours claiming that she spent way too much of her time with the gem. CeKay didn’t like it even a bit. She knew what the gem could do to people, even someone as young and innocent as Elwing. 

But the city was a safe place and the refugees did settle inn and things did take on the appearance of normality, for a while. CeKay did keep a keen eye on everything, just to be sure. She would patrol the streets at night and now she was experimenting with animal shapes and found that she liked it, a lot. She would roam the dark city as a street dog or some other large animal and sometimes she reshaped her horse to accompany her. She felt a sort of determination now, a need to just do something, something useful but how? She wasn’t allowed to change history and that gnawed at her a lot. But she tried to make the lives of everybody a little easier, slipped some packages of food into the huts and tents of the poor, brought up more fish for the fishers…It wasn’t much but it left her feeling content and she felt that she did contribute, at least a little. 

Then a new wave of refugees started to arrive and the city was overcome with shock as the truth about their escape became known. They were of Gondolin, the hidden city of King Turgon and now Gil Galad was to be titled high king of the noldor. CeKay had never met the young elf and she just hoped that the title wouldn’t curse him the way it had cursed others wearing that title. There were many new elves arriving at the city and making room for everyone wasn’t easy, and many were wounded or severely traumatized too. CeKay was being told the story of Aredhel and her escape by a ragged old warrior who had barely gotten out with his life and she knew then that there were elves who were corrupted, even if they weren’t touched by the enemy. Aredhel’s husband had not acted like a normal elf and even if her son did betray the city CeKay could understand him at least a little. If he indeed did love his own cousin in a less than platonic manner it could drive anyone mad, besides, he would have believed himself to be a better heir than her, just because he was a male. 

Idril and Tuor did arrive with their son Eärendil and the boy was handsome and smart and also very well behaved. CeKay stayed in the distance and didn’t approach them at all, she didn’t want to reveal who and what she was and so she watched the family from afar. Now there were two people in the city of mixed heritage and she knew that the young lad and Elwing had to meet sooner or later. She sort of sensed that he was meant for greatness, that his destiny would be special. Rumours soon spread about the remaining Feanorions, they said that the kinslayers knew of the whereabouts of the silmaril but apparently Maedhros had forsworn his oath and turned his back to it. CeKay did take a breath of relief but she knew it wouldn’t last long before they were at it again. The goddamn oath was too strong, like a force in its own right and it would drive them all headlong into disaster. 

But Sirion became a very busy city now, many left for Lindon and culture and arts thrived as they were rather protected against the forces of the enemy. CeKay did travel a lot now, she tried to estimate where and when the enemy would strike next and she saw that Morgoth was getting stronger again, building his armies and fortifying his strongholds. In the taverns songs were being sung about the courage of Glorfindel of the golden flower who sacrificed his own life to let the women and children escape and of Ecthelion who managed to kill Gothmog himself, and thus drowned. They sang of the might and wrath of Rog who had fought the orcs and other foul beings at the town square with his great hammer until he was brought down as the last of his house and CeKay did feel the tragedy of it all and mourned it. 

Were the kings of the noldor truly cursed? She started to believe it, nothing they did seemed to end well. Were they truly too arrogant in their ways and too stubborn to see that they had to change to make it? Turgon had died just like his father and brother and the only ones left who had been called high king who were still alive were Maedhros and Maglor, and only the Gods knew for how long they would last. Soon enough it became common knowledge that the daughter of Dior and the grandson of Turgon were to be wed, and the city did rejoice. CeKay too felt some joy hearing about this but she still had a nasty feeling of impending doom. The blasted jewel should have been sent back to the feanorions, it would have been the only sane choice of action. 

Elwing did often spend time with the gem and CeKay suspected that it somehow made people addicted somehow, and that was indeed very dangerous. Morgoth still had two and CeKay wondered if they did affect him in any manner, if he too was being tricked into doing stupid things there could be a chance of exploiting this. But the dark enemy did no mistakes as far as CeKay saw and she tried to understand his strategies and plan ahead. Sirion was home to many now, there was no way the city would escape his attention. He was pushing everybody ahead of him and the safe areas did shrink with each passing month. Elwing and Eärendil did welcome two sons, twins and everybody were happy. They were named Elrond and Elros and the city was decorated and songs sung in their honour. Some who dared to travel did claim that the oath was troubling the Feanorions again and that they would make a move sooner or later and Elwing did not wish to even discuss the possibility of sending the gem to them. CeKay thought the woman was just stupid, here she had a safe home, newborn twin sons and a husband and yet she refused to hand over that piece of dangerous crystal? Tuor and Idril had left to sail west and the young couple were left to rule there, in CeKay’s view an unwise decision. It didn’t get any better when Eärendil started to feel restless and left for sea voyages which got longer and longer, he was filled with the need to explore and he left his wife alone for weeks and months at a time. 

Elwing seemed to cling onto the jewel with increasing desperation, letters from Maedhros were simply tossed away and she seemed to be unable to see the danger she was creating. Sirion wasn’t a fortress, it was an open city with no walls of any kind and the only way you could escape would be by boat. Some did realize that staying would be a bad move and left and CeKay did braze herself for an attack but yet again the enemy did outsmart her. The army of Maedhros and Maglor did arrive in the middle of the day, when everybody were resting and the sun high and CeKay was out swimming when she heard the first horns blaring and the first screams. Even with her speed she couldn’t get to Elwing in time and she feared that the daughter or Dior would be put to the sword if she didn’t relinquish the gem. CeKay was in the harbour and she did see that Elwing threw herself off the cliff above it and fell into the ocean, clinging to the gem. She did also see that a very large white bird took off from the waves and flew towards the west with something shiny in its beak and CeKay didn’t know if it was Elwings own powers inherited from Melian or a trick of any of the valar, the fact was that the city was being attacked and the gem was yet again out of reach of the remaining sons of Fëanor. 

She ran into the city, the army was killing and attacking everywhere and she fought back, managed to get many away from the slaughter and finally the battle ended and the warriors did retreat, called back by their leaders. CeKay did see that the twin sons of Fëanor had been felled, and now only Maedhros and Maglor did remain and they carried Elwing’s sons with them. CeKay feared for the lads, Maedhros and Maglor were the least insane of the brothers but even a sane person can become cruel given the right push so she camouflaged herself and stayed close, just to save the boys if the two warriors decided to harm them. Many had died and the grief was great, some hoped that it had ended now, that the silmaril was buried deep beneath the waves and never would be found. 

To CeKay’s relief the twins were treated kindly and well and became like sons to the two former kings and she did for a while wonder if these two innocent lads maybe had the power to heal the two warriors and make them turn their backs to the past. She kept dropping by every now and then and was fascinated by the love and understanding the ragged warriors showed the two young ones. By now Beleriand was almost completely overrun by Morgoth and there were few safe havens left, Sirion and the isle of Balar were among them and the elves did move to the east or south to avoid the enemy. CeKay was out on patrol when a messenger told that the last stronghold of the Fëanorions were destroyed by Morgoth, Belerian was practically in his hand now and the elven fortresses had fallen one by one. Many fled west now and there was some despair. Most of the remaining Noldor would never be allowed re-entry into Aman and was this to end now? With Morgoth taking over the entire Middle earth?   
CeKay found out that Elrond and Elros were safe, and the lads were growing and learning and she hid and watched them rather often. She had become rather fond of them and saw that in spite of being twins they were rather different in character. Elros was a more impatient type with a temper and a burning need to understand. Elrond was more sedate and patient and he was stubborn too and very interested in the healing arts. He was also becoming a very good warrior and CeKay feared that he would need that soon. The relationship between the two last sons of Fëanor and the two young peredhel was close and yet not without problems for Elros in special seemed to be convinced that they were to blame for what happened to their mother. He was often a bit bitter and grumpy and CeKay wondered what his destiny would be. 

The twins father had not been seen for a long time now and some said that he had sailed west to try to parley with the valar and make them see that their help was needed. CeKay wondered if these so called gods would bother with it at all, as long as Morgoth stayed in the east she feared that they would turn a deaf ear to the whole plea. She had realized that she was almost as strong as a vala and that she, if she had wanted to, could have changed everything but that would be wrong of her so she stayed passive and wondered what came next. On her journeys she soon discovered that most of the lands did suffer under Morgoth’s rule and valleys once green and lush were left black and scorched. The elves she had lived with for years were nowhere to be found and she just prayed that they had left and found refuge in the east. Orcs and other foul creatures did roam every hill and valley and smoke rose from Angband constantly. She felt such anger seeing it and she just hoped that help would come, in spite of everything. 

Then one day in the early sun someone spotted ships approaching the coast and they were many and heavily laden and moved way faster than they ought to if normal winds pushed them. Among them were all sorts of sea creatures and many cheered and sang, the valar had arrived to save them all. CeKay just knew it, Morgoth would be beaten for sure, the question was at what price?


	13. Warrior's soul, warriors will...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CeKay has had enough, damn the rules, she has to do something but what?

Chapter 13: Warrior’s soul, warrior’s will…

It seemed as if chaos had descended upon every shore and bay, ships arrived everywhere, carrying warriors and horses and among them came the valar and the maiar and CeKay felt an odd twinge of disgust when seeing them. Oh they were powerful indeed, she could feel it, like a pulse in the air, a distant thunderstorm slowly approaching, but that power was not what she would have expected at all. They had waited, let time slip by while the world suffered and why? She saw them all and within her a glow of rage started to awaken, it had all been their fault, all the death and the suffering and she wondered if she really was right to do naught.   
She walked among them, these newcomers and discovered that these elves viewed their kin with a sort of negativity she found loathsome. She couldn’t comprehend why they believed themselves to be so much better, so more worthy and she was shocked by their innocence. To them this war was something they believed would be easy, a quick battle against an enemy who surely would cower before the might of the valar. The truth was entirely different, so much darker than these born in the light of Aman ever could comprehend. She saw it in the first battles, how the sights and sounds and the sheer brutality of it left many deeply stunned and shocked. But the elves who had lived there all their lives, who had bled and suffered and seen what the enemy truly was couldn’t be frightened off. They marched towards the danger with their heads held high and CeKay felt a sort of pride watching them. The valar would attack the very core of the enemy’s domain, and bring him to his knees at all costs and she soon saw their strength. 

But the enemy was strong too and ruthless and terrible and his orcs and monsters many, the death toll was great. CeKay wasn’t shocked by anything anymore, she had seen it all before but now the cruelty and evil of the dark lord seemed to break free from whatever restraints it had lain under and she sensed it, his desperation. It was like a wounded beast, hidden in its cave, surrounded by ravenous hunters and yet unwilling to give up. She was fighting, disguised as an elf and she felt a sort of desperation which grew with each day. Too many lives were lost, they didn’t seem to care for their strategies were not very efficient at all. The great fortress would never fall unless the fight was taken to a whole new level. Every day new monstrosities were brought forth and every day the armies of the elves and valar had to face new horrors for which nobody could really truly be prepared. 

CeKay learned to regard these so called deities with suspicion, oh they did hold great strength and magic but they were not omnipotent and made mistakes. She suspected that the very nature of Melkor was so alien to them they simply were unable to comprehend his true intentions. These beings had never truly been alive, their forms something they had chosen and they had never hungered or suffered. They were like children but children with immense powers at their command. And their reactions to facing resistance was pretty much equal to that of a spoiled child who suddenly isn’t being pampered anymore, the tactics were awful and CeKay started to seriously doubt that anything would come from this at all. 

She had been hiding for centuries, living like an ordinary elf but now she felt that she no longer had a choice, she had to do something to change the odds and so she left the camps and started to hunt on her own. For what she did was hunting, she went for the officers, for the strongest of the orcs and trolls and tried as best as she could to cause a loss of moral and inflict fear in their hearts. She fought in stealth mode, didn’t let herself be seen and she killed hundreds each night but it was just like scratching the surface, it didn’t really add up to anything at all. Her frustration grew, of course she knew of weapons powerful enough to eradicate the entire fortress, strong enough to kill every orc there was but this was a world where such deviltry had been unknown and she also knew that the effects of such weapons could be felt for ages afterwards. No, this had to be done the conventional way and she just wished that the so called leaders could get their heads out of their asses and see that their so called strategies only meant a death toll which was way too high. 

It didn’t seem as if these valar cared at all if a hundred elves had to die just so they could kill one balrog or a handful of orcs, and she knew that even a novice at the military academies of her old existence could have made better plans. She tried to influence the elven leaders by seeping information to everyone, giving small hints at what action would hurt the dark lord the most but often it was ignored and she couldn’t just step forth and demand to be listened to. She had no idea of what the valar would do if they became aware of her presence. 

Then she was discovered and it was a shock since she had been so sure of herself and her own skills. She had been convinced that nobody had been able to detect her and notice her presence there but she was wrong. She was approached early one morning as she sat beside her tent and polished a sword, in the daytime she fought with the elves and did the best she could without revealing her superior nature. The one approaching her was no elf, and no vala. It was one of the lesser beings known as maiar and she sensed him long before he came into view. He wore a shining armour and carried his sword with a sort of haughty elegance and Ceay sensed both arrogance and curiosity within him. There were scores of maiar following the valar, some were made to be officers while others just followed as soldiers and this was one of them. She had noticed him before, a very beautiful one with long silvery hair and the emblem of the one named Manwë on his chestplate. She wondered why such beings needed armour at all but they all wore some and they did fight well, some did in fact fight with a sort of ferocity which told her they had personal reasons to hate the beasts the enemy brought forth. 

He stopped in front of her, the shiny silvery eyes were narrow and he stared, head cocked and expression one of slight confusion. “I have seen you fight, and you are no elf, but you are none of us neither. “ 

CeKay made a grimace. “What makes you say that?” 

He bent down. “You have a different…feel…than anyone else I have encountered. I saw you sneak out of the camp last night, and I saw a trail of death left behind. You killed more than a hundred orcs, nobody does that who aren’t something more than flesh and blood” 

Cekay sighed, this was a smart one, great. Not just a pretty face then. “I am what I am, I am on the side of good, that ought to be enough” 

He crouched down, now she saw the dents in the armour and the small speckles of black blood he probably hadn’t had time to remove. He did look tired, almost worn. “Forgive me, but I am curious and I don’t trust anyone who can fight like that and still hides in the shadows. I am Marhal, I serve under Eonwë. “ 

CeKay rolled her eyes with a groan. “I am CeKay, just that. I serve none” 

He tilted his head the other way. “CeKay, a most unusual name I must admit. And you are?” 

She took a deep breath. “Not off this world, that ought to be pretty obvious” 

He did look a bit shocked. “No, but it makes sense. There are other worlds, Eru has taught us that. Other universes even. Are you…are you akin to the valar then?” 

CeKay shook her head. “No, they claim to be deities, I am not. I was made, I am artificial, like a machine but one with a mind and a will of my own. I was made to be a soldier, that is why I fight so well” 

He fell silent, then a hand was raised, every so carefully and he poked her shoulder, as if to check if she was real. “I do not understand” 

She let out a sigh. “No, it would be a miracle if you did but I can tell you that I am very powerful, and very wise. I have much knowledge and I know that the war you are fighting will go on forever unless your masters gets the sticks out of their asses and start thinking strategy, that is, another strategy than full head on attack at all times. Too many dies now, it is a waste.” 

He did look surprised again. “You are right, and we do know this but our lords, they do believe that the mere sight of their might will make the dark one bow before them in submission” 

Cekay had to choke a rather cruel laughter. “Submission?! That one doesn’t know the meaning of that word, and he does have scores upon scores of orcs and monsters at his service, ready to die for him. You can keep fighting until there is nobody left alive here on this continent and yet he will not run out of servants. Nor malice!”

Marhal nodded slowly. “You are right, his power is too great. What would you do to stop this?” 

CeKay stared at the maia with some surprise in her gaze. “You are asking me for advice?” 

He nodded. “Yes, for I sense that you are sincere. The others aren’t, they try to gain power on their own behalf or they try to come up with excuses so they won’t have to fight or they simply ignore orders and do what they themselves find useful, which is usually very little. “ 

CeKay swallowed. “If I was your masters I would seek a way to lower the loss of lives, I have tried to ruin the moral of the enemy but they are too many” 

Marhal nodded. “Yes, or bring the enemy down from within” 

CeKay stared at him, he was right. She had forgotten who and what she was, what she was capable of. At this moment in time it didn’t matter anymore, she would have to use her powers for the sake of the greater good. If these valar did see her for what she was then be it, she couldn’t hide anymore, not without bearing the guilt of not having saved so many. “You are right, from within! And I know just how to do this, but it will be very dangerous” 

Marhal frowned. “You do?” 

She nodded. “Yes, once upon a time, so long ago your world didn’t even exist yet there was a mighty empire which sought to control and conquer all other realms of their galaxy. And they would have done it too, if there hadn’t been one fatal mistake” 

He blinked, his expression one of fascination. “You do own great wisdom, what sort of mistake?” 

CeKay could almost see it before her inner eyes, the fatal landing on an yet unexplored planet. “They were too greedy, wanted too much too fast and broke some rather important rules. A ship of theirs landed on a world where they expected to find great treasures, but what they found was death. They just didn’t know that until it was too late.”

He did wet his lips. “Death?” 

She nodded. “Yes, they were wise, and extremely advanced but even the wisest of beings cannot fathom more than a small portion of the entire truth. There will always be the unknown, the unexpected. They found gems on that planet, wonderful shiny gems and they were soon very sought after and they examined them and found nothing dangerous at all. So the gems were distributed far and wide and nobody expected anything to happen” 

Marhal did cock his head. “They were dangerous in some unknown manner?” 

She nodded. “Exactly! They did spread a sort of invisible poison, a disease. When they were on the planet they had been found on they were harmless but other suns did strange things to them and they were in fact alive, and tried to protect themselves thus. And so billions died and the empire crumbled and fell, all because of greed” 

Marhal nodded. “So what will you do?” 

CeKay sighed. “I will go to Angband, and get inside and there I will sow the seeds of destruction. “

Marhal frowned yet again. “I do not understand?” 

She made a sort of smile. “I can do that, I can…create things with my mind, and use it to destroy” 

Marhal did look a bit pale. “Then you are a God, even if you deny it” 

She shook her head. “No, I am no deity and this is the last time I say this so listen, I am powerful but nothing supernatural. “ 

Marhal did suddenly look very determined. “I will go with you” 

CeKay gaped. “You want to do WHAT?”

He stared her straight in the eye. “You heard me, when you go to Angband I want to join you, I need…I need to see it, see how bad it is. The tales we have heard, the valar laugh and claim it cannot be that bad, that their brother surely cannot be that twisted” 

CeKay sighed and felt tired all of a sudden. “Oh but he is, the horrors of that fortress cannot even be described with the words of any tongue. You will regret it” 

Marhal was adamant, she saw it in his gaze and she knew that even a maia was way more powerful than an elf, maybe there was a way… She made a grimace. “Right, then you need to gather more warriors, creatures like yourself. We need a small group, no fewer than three but no more than five. “ 

He tilted his head. “I have friends, loyal to me and the cause, friends who will ask no questions” 

She smiled. “Good, we have to get in there wearing a disguise, trying to sneak inside will be too difficult. His power is too great. Hiding in broad daylight is our only chance. “ 

Marhal got up. “When?” 

She shrugged. “Why hesitate? Tomorrow may be too late so tonight, as soon as the sun sets. I want everybody armed and ready and you have to be aware of the danger. If he manages to catch you alive…” 

Marhal looked down, his eyes dark. “Yes, I know. I have seen what they do to prisoners, even…even those of my kind.” 

CeKay sent him a smile. “Go, and find your friends. Meet me by the groove outside of the camp, I need to make plans” 

He bowed and left and CeKay remained sitting there with the sword in her lap, staring at it. She was making the right decision, and damned be the future if she couldn’t do what she could to make a difference. What if she did change the destiny of this realm? It was worth it if this war could be brought to an end, it had lasted way too long already. She often compared Morgoth and the valar with angry dogs barking and snapping at each other but none daring to really move in for the bite. Well, she would force them forth, whatever the cost may be.   
She rested and went through her memory banks, brought forth all she had learned about the fortress so many centuries ago. It had to have changed since then for it had in fact grown but she wasn’t going to be shocked by anything she saw in there anymore. She checked every system and made sure that she was ready for anything, her energy core at top level and her combat program rebooted. There would be no glitches now, only the goal mattered and she did smile.   
She had been a fool to wait this long, she could have done this so long ago and perhaps saved thousands of lives but she supposed that her initial programming still haunted her brain like a ghost. The first commandment of the inter galactic council had been set in diamonds, do not interfere with the development of primitive civilizations. She knew so many examples of that one rule being broken and in all the cases the result was a horrible mess. The minds of the lesser developed races couldn’t cope with the knowledge they had been given, and the visitors were seen as Gods and then things went south with express speed. Religions and superstitions and rules and the worship of hollow ideals commenced and entire planets had been left as barren wastelands because of this. 

But she had no choice this time, the valar, they were…She didn’t really have a word for them but they were not off this world and they had already intervened, she was just trying to gather up their mess, fix the wrongs they had done. They had brought their own petty differences onto this young planet and now its inhabitants were paying the price and she was feeling how anger burned within her at the very thought. If these beings indeed came here wanting to be worshipped as Gods then they had done a great crime and this war was just the ultimate result of this. They were using the elves and some of the maiar too as pawns and tools and CeKay had never endured injustice. 

She waited by the groove and when it got dark she did see that Marhal did come, as promised. He had three others with him, maiar clad in green and blue and all were tall and inhumanly pretty and they wore their blades on their backs. They bowed before her and she saw that they were curious but also very determined. “We have come to help conquer the dark lord, our masters seems content to just send troops forth to their death with no effect whatsoever.” 

CeKay nodded. “Yes, now, this is how we do this. We will travel fast, and when we get closer we will disguise ourselves as orcs, that ought to get us inside undetected. There are so many creatures pouring forth from that fortress nobody can keep count of them, not even their own.” 

Marhal nodded. “Good, but we do not have the magic to weave such illusions” 

CeKay smiled. “Worry not, I do. Come on, we have to get there before the sun rises” 

They followed her and she used her energy to create a sort of bubble which allowed them to move at breakneck speed. After some hours they saw the gates in the distance and CeKay removed the camouflage and nodded at them. “Remember, from now on you are orcs, do not speak and let me do all the work until we are inside. If someone speaks to you just grunt, I will take care of it” 

They nodded and she released nanites, thousands of them. They attached themselves to everybody’s skin and hair and clothing and made them look like nasty orcs. The sight made them all chuckle and groan. “Eru, I look…horrible” 

One of the maiar did look at his own reflection within his blade and CeKay giggled. “True beauty rests within, you all know that, now, let us go” 

They all soon learned to move like orcs too, a sort of wobbling unsteady gait with none of the elegance of the elves and they leaned forth a bit and dragged their feet as if they were tired CeKay had put on the disguise of an orc captain and she had remembered the old symbols and the ways the orcs did identify their leaders. She did look like a captain from some smaller platoon and as the gate got closer she had to hiss and fight her own urge to just lash out. They were passed by all the time, by scores of orcs and were wolves and wargs. Trolls and other monsters did run along the paths and they all had that look within their eyes, sheer bloodlust and sheer madness. She just cussed in orcish and waddled forth, looking as brutish as she could. The gates were open all the time, troops moving inn and out the entire time and she was glad they weren’t stopped. Nobody even looked at them and she sent her four companions a warning glance, they had to stay in character and not reveal their shock at anything they saw. 

The courtyard was grand and filled with troops and CeKay ignored everything. She saw some orc sough carrying trays with a sort of cups upon it and she was distributing it to the officers and CeKay walked over as if it was her right and grasped one of the cups. It did contain some dark liquid and the orc sough sent CeKay a smile which was probably meant to be pleasing. “It is grog sire, it is very good” 

CeKay just grunted and appeared to drain the cup in one go, the liquid was foul and strong but she did analyse its contents and it wasn’t really dangerous. It was just smelly and nasty. She tossed the cup away and walked on and her soldiers did follow with their heads bent. She headed for one of the entrances when she did see something which made her cuss inside. Some of the orcs were tormenting some prisoners, forcing them to fight unarmed against some nasty looking goblins and she saw both elves and lesser maiar among them. The four tensed up and she smacked Marhal over his cheek rather brutally. “Oy, yer eyes here, no fun for ya yet!”

She dragged them along. “Reports first!”

Some other orcs there laughed and the four did follow her, she had made herself look larger and stronger than them and they entered the huge door and found the corridors and halls absolutely packed. But she did recognize the place and she soon found some stairs leading downstairs. She walked with confidence and power and after a while they were in the quarters where the slaves were kept. She remembered what she had done the last time she was there, and her nanites had done their job well. There were tunnels everywhere, hidden and not yet open but the layer of rock thin and you could break through rather easily. The four were aghast, their eyes told of shock and CeKay gathered them around her. “Listen, I will seal the entrance to this area, and open the tunnels I once made. You will bring as many as you can out of here, but be fast and don’t hesitate. If some poor soul is too weak to move kill them, it is merciful.” 

The four did look deeply shocked but nodded and Marhal stared at her. “What will you do?” 

CeKay grinned, a very vicious grin which did look even worse since she was in disguise still. “Find the kitchen, an army marches on its belly” 

Marhal grinned and she removed the disguise, there were thousands of slaves down there, trapped in their cells since the fighting meant that they were not needed for the time being. She just hoped that the four would manage to get as many as possible out of there. She ran towards the entrance and sent off a swarm of nanites to eat away the bars and open the tunnels, then she brought down the entrance and nobody did notice since the entire fortress already was shaking with the eruptions of the huge volcano. The way to the kitchens was long, and winding and she was afraid that some of the beings she met could see through the disguise for many were maiar who had become seduced by the power of the dark one but nobody reacted and she entered the huge hall which was the room where the food was being prepared, or food. She wouldn’t use the word and the gods alone knew what made it into the pots and pans. 

She realized that dead orcs and slaves went onto the stew together with raw leather, dead wargs and whatever else the cooks deemed edible. The smell was unbelievable and she found a dark alcove and removed the disguise before she went into camouflage mode again. The pots were massive, the size of swimming pools heated by lava bubbling up from underneath them and huge trolls were stirring the food as the orc chefs were running around barking orders. They seemed to have some sort of pride in their work for they were whipping the slaves forth and if the stew from one pot wasn’t to their liking the ones responsible for the seasoning became the seasoning. CeKay released nanites, and this time her task was hard, and extremely difficult. She had to work on a level which was unusual even for her, she had to change cells and their DNA. 

There were germs in the pots and pans for they had never been washed and most of these one celled organisms were extremophiles, used to heat and an unfriendly environment. Now she forced them to become something new, and to breed like never before. It did take energy, lots of it and she was tired when she was done but after a few hours all the pots and pans were teeming with life, new life which would attack with vicious force. 

She went back to the basements and checked the structure, it was weakened and she smiled, this fortress would crumble but it would take something massive to make it fall. Even she couldn’t unleash an earthquake and she didn’t want the dark lord to realize that something was there, working against him. She found her way to the halls where the wargs and werewolves were kept and she did release yet another swarm, this time it wouldn’t kill but have a most devastating effects on these monsters. She was chuckling as she sought her way back to the slave quarters. She found a tunnel and just slid through the rock until she caught up with the last of the slaves. Most were elves and in a terrible state and she realized that the four maiar had done exactly what she had asked of them. They had killed those too severely wounded and now everybody were hurrying along the narrow tunnels. CeKay took the appearance of an elf again and helped carry the weak to safety. The tunnels all converged and ended in a rather secluded mountain valley some hours from the fortress and here there were no orcs since it was a desolate area nobody had any interest in. 

The slaves were in shock, they hadn’t expected to be saved and CeKay did feel sorry for them all. Most were scarred and maimed and some of the females were heavy with child. CeKay realized that these were breeding slaves and the very idea made her cringe. Soon the dark lords would notice that the slaves were gone and she returned to the tunnels and raced along them, shut them off at the other end and disguised the entrances so they couldn’t be found. When she returned the four had managed to get an estimate of how many they were and CeKay was a bit stunned. They were several thousand and this valley didn’t contain anything edible nor any shelter. They needed to get them out of there fast but how? CeKay couldn’t camouflage that many, they would move too slowly. There was a limit even to her powers and even if she could make her nanites make edible substances from the minerals and organic material of the surroundings it wouldn’t be enough. She had to think, and think hard.   
Marhal cocked his head, his eyes were red and she knew he had been crying. “They are suffering, what those monsters have done…I have no words…”

CeKay sent him a rather sour glance. “Of course you haven’t, but we do need to get them out of here, they need to get to safety, preferably to Sirion” 

One of the other four shrugged. “How? Most cannot walk that far even if they weren’t this weak and we will be pursued and attacked” 

CeKay nodded. “Yes, you are right, so, any suggestions?” 

They looked at each other. “A diversion?” 

CeKay nodded. “Yes, good idea, what sort of diversion?” 

The maiar did look a bit nervous. “Morgoth fears none, we all know that. But he has some flaws, his pride is one of them” 

CeKay stared at Marhal. “You are right, his pride! And it was wounded once, I think I know what I will do now” 

She grinned, it was a wonderful irony there somewhere. She took a deep breath “I will make sure that his eyes are looking elsewhere, there is something he both fear and longs for, and I will provide him with both” 

The maiar did look puzzled. “There is?” 

She nodded and started to prepare herself. “Yes, now, wait until the sun rises, his forces doesn’t move in daylight. Move towards the front, it is just some hours away now and the elves will see you from afar and aid you. Whence you are behind the lines they will bring the slaves to safety. Tell everybody that…that a rogue maia helped you free the slaves” 

Marhal nodded but he did look as if he was in doubt. “Alright, we can do that. But what exactly are you going to do?” 

CeKay did look rather sinister, her eyes had gotten a very sharp expression and she seemed to grow. “Show him what he once lost!”

She called her steed to her, it had been waiting hidden in the hills and would come to her rather fast. She then sought through the very rock itself, burrowed down into it and she did find what she was after, a piece of flawless crystal. She pulled it up to the surface and reshaped it before she discretely changed its properties and now it was glowing with an unearthly light. Marhal was gaping. “Is that a silmaril?”

CeKay almost giggled. “No, but he will think it is one!”

She knew that the loss of the one silmaril Luthien had managed to snatch from him had hurt the dark lords pride like nothing else and he would be blinded by his greed if he did think he could reclaim it. The four did walk around and helped the injured and ill as best they could and CeKay recharged herself, she was feeling a sort of eager energy now. This could be fun!   
Her steed did arrive and she changed it, now it did look exactly like the huge white stallion Fingolfin had ridden and CeKay did pet it and her grin became even more sinister. “Elves can be brought back from the dead, I bet Morgoth still feels the bite of Fingolfin’s blade, his limp has never disappeared they say”

She remembered her friend of old and slowly she changed herself so she did look exactly like him, but she attached the “silmaril” to a sort of crown and her armour was shiny white. “Do you think he will believe that the valar has sent the high king back?” 

Marhal did nod and his eyes were large. “He will be too shocked to think clearly” 

CeKay did mount the white horse and her energy surged. This would take a lot out of her but she couldn’t give inn to her slight doubt. She had to create enough of a diversion for the four to bring the slaves to safety. She turned the horse around and smiled at them all. “Go now, take them to the mouth of the valley and when the daylight comes run for it. You do not have much time. What I did back there will soon have its effect upon the troops but it will take some days to spread to everybody. Don’t look back, just run”

Marhal did salute her and she let the copy of Rochallor run down the slopes in a cloud of dust. The real horse had run itself to death but this steed was no horse and could run forever if she wanted it too. 

In the great fortress the atmosphere had been good for weeks now, almost jovial. They couldn’t be broken by the puny valar, they were too strong and they would toss their entire army back into the sea and then they would rule Middle earth forever. The great halls were boiling with action and the smiths were hard at work the whole time forging weapons and the sounds made the air shiver. The pens where the wargs were held had to be built to keep the mighty beasts under control but now the orcs guarding them did notice something odd. The usual snarling and growling had been replaced by whining and whimpering and wargs and werewolves were scratching themselves until they bled. The orcs didn’t know what to do, the itch seemed to spread like wildfire and soon there wasn’t even one warg within the fortress which could be ridden, 

They shut off the halls to prevent the disease from spreading further but it was too late, soon scores of wargs did return, itching and biting their own flesh to alleviate the agony. The healers tried their best but could do naught and not even the power of the maiar serving the dark lord could do anything about it. Sauron was fuming with anger and Morgoth himself was also angry but not concerned, he was sure they didn’t need the wargs after all. Then orcs started getting ill, the hygiene of Angband was non existent at its best and orcs did their business wherever and whenever they needed to go. Soon the floors and corridors were covered with pools of fetid faeces and the stench was unbelievable. Orc crouched down racked by stomach pain and shat everywhere and this too spread. When someone was sent to gather the slaves to clean up the mess it was discovered that most of the elves and humans were gone and Morgoth was roaring with anger. This was the work of the valar but they had never been that ruthless nor as cunning as the one behind this. The orcs were unable to fight and the wargs were attacking anybody daring to get closer to them, even their masters. 

Morgoth was so angry he barely could think and he wanted to unleash all his worst weapons at once, bringing the enemy down once and for all but Sauron did manage to calm him down. That was surely what the valar anticipated and he didn’t want to become predictable now did he? Of course not, that would be a weakness and so he didn’t do anything at all, he just waited for the next move of these puny losers. The next move came faster than he had anticipated, a horn was heard and he ran to the balustrade to see what this was about and he gaped. On a hilltop not far from the fortress he saw a familiar figure, holding the goddamn silmaril he had lost. How did they dare taunt him thus? And bringing that goddamn elven king back from the dead? He had crushed the fool, and now he was there again? Morgoth felt a sting in his foot, that wound had never healed and he felt his anger overflowing. No, this was too much, his lieutenant could plead all he liked, this he had to deal with single handed. He swept down the stairs and put on his most terrifying armour. This time he would smash that insolent elf once and for all and then he would break the valar, one by one and spare Manwë to the last, let him watch it all. 

He ran out of the gates like a huge dark storm clouded by lightening and darkness and raced towards the speckle of light which was the elven king and the goddamn gem. He would reclaim it and put it back in his crown where it was supposed to be. He didn’t care about the war now, all that mattered was his vengeance. 

CeKay was shivering as the dark lord emerged, he was terrifying but she was determined and let the horse run lightfooted over the sand. She just had to keep this monster occupied for a few short hours and she was sure she could do that. She released nanites as she rode, ordered them to multiply and they did. This plain would become a trap, and she started shouting insults as she kept her distance to the limping giant. His great hammer of war could easily crush her but she wouldn’t die and any damage would repair itself, that was at least some comfort. “Do you recognize this oh master of thralls?” 

She let the huge figure get closer before she changed her direction again and the light from the gem seemed to hurt the dark vala and yet he did covet it, like nothing else. The shiny speckle of light all that he saw, his entire mind set upon it and his troops and maiar suddenly felt abandoned and retreated to the fortress. This was what CeKay had foreseen and she grinned as she kept the dark lord chasing her, fuelled his anger with her words. “Oh but I think you don’t deserve it, a woman did take it from you and she said it was like snatching candy from a kid!”

Morgoth roared and now the nanites had managed to transform the hard surface to mud. His feet did sink into the sticky substance and he wasn’t as fast anymore. His roars of anger did make the mountains tremble and shake and the troops of the valar heard it from afar and shuddered, what was going on? 

The slaves were running for their lives and the desperation gave new strength to them all, they rushed over the plains and those strong did carry the weak. The four maiar did hide them in a cloud of dust and when the front lines saw them there were a great deal of confusion until they saw that these were elves and not orcs. Then many raced forth and helped their kin and the slaves were brought back to the camps, most were completely exhausted and the four maiar did tell everybody what CeKay had told them to say. Now they could only hope that their friend out there got away from this in one piece.


End file.
